My Husband

by Soledad 26 Replies latest social relationships

  • Soledad

    What would you call a person who drinks to the point of near-unconsciousness? every week? who can't deal with personal problems and/or set backs any other way? who witnessed this type of behavior since he was a child? who doesn't seem to care how this affects the person closest to him (me)? who has had various legal problems because of this? whose work performance suffers? who thinks it's ok to come home after a party at 11 am---2 days after the party has ended? Would he be considered an alcoholic? A jerk? A loser who deserves to be kicked to the curb?

    *Soledad of the straw-is-about-to-break-the-camel's-back class*

  • Yerusalyim

    What would I all him??? I'd call him a taxi. Find an Alanon group, take care of yourself.

  • bikerchic

    ahhhh yeah what you said:

    Would he be considered an alcoholic? A jerk? A loser who deserves to be kicked to the curb?

    Life is too short to waste it on someone who doesn't give a rats ass! If you care about yourself it's time to make a big address. Sorry to be so blunt but you can't as you already know change another person, but you can decide what is best for your life.


  • shamus

    He is your husband, so you need to try to work it out, just a little bit.

    Then, its time to go. It is my experience that alcoholics do not change. I am sorry to give you the news of what I think. You don't need to be treated as a doormat - no matter what faults you think you may have.

  • Yerusalyim

    Alcoholics are always alcoholics, but life CAN get better if the drink is taken away and a true spirituality takes it's place (dry drunks are worse than wet drunks in many regards). The key is no one can get your hubby to an AA program, he has to find it on his own. You leaving might be the wake up call. If you do leave and he gets sober, make him be sober at least a year before you even consider going back. 9 out of 10 alkies don't make it.

  • Soledad

    I've left this guy twice in less than 3 years. Same story everytime. Our latest separation was just a little over 1 month ago. He's been to AA. I've taken him to a doctor, a psychiatrist, everywhere. I had him thrown in jail. Nothing doing. Wonderful man in every other way, but this. I wont lie, I kind of knew that he did this from the beginning, gosh, he was even drunk on our first date and I didnt even know it! I have never experienced living with someone who has a substance abuse problem.

    Yeru I'll take your advice and seek help at Al-Anon. Thanks

  • Soledad

    wet drunk? dry drunk? what's that? never heard of those terms

  • Joyzabel


    you are describing a classis chemical abuser. Run to the next ALnon meeting (AA for mates) Go to the library and do some reading about co-dependency!

    Get yourself a therapist and why you have taken this guy back 3 times.



  • Yerusalyim

    Wet that's actively drinking

    Dry that isn't drinking, is miserable because of it, and wants everyone else to be miserable too.

    AA won't work if he's not ready for it.

  • manon

    Hug for Soledad

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