I'm back

Yerusalyim

Hi gang. My self imposed exile is over ( to the chagrin of a few here I'm sure...I'm looking at you Trauma Hound ). Anyhow, the military school I was attending, The Advanced NonCommissioned Officers Course (ANCOC) is finally over. I graduated second in my class right behind my battle buddy (teaching partner and good friend). I was also on the commandants list (top 20%)academically with three superior ratings and a high PT score). All in all a good school. Boring, I only learned two new things while I was there, but I networked with the folks that will be leading the Chaplain's Corps in a few years (hopefully, I'll be one of them, I guess in a way I already am since I work at the Chaplain's School).

I started my new job at the Chaplain's School today, working in Combat Development as the Training NCO. I'll be going to the National Training Centers once a year to do Doctrinal Proficiency visits (army doctrine, not church doctrine.

I went to an AA meeting this evening with my priest friend. First meeting in YEARS! My spirituallity is suffering right now. I need a spiritual pick me up to help get me through the issues with my wife that many of you are aware of. (I just ended a sentence with a preposition, shame on me). She's still in counseling, taking TONS of meds, and I dread coming home at night from work. I don't like being around her. I feel sorry for her, I want her to get better, but I don't enjoy spending time with her. Our sex life is almost gone...by my choice, she doesn't do much for me right now. I find myself justifying an affair, though I'm not having one, nor am I targeting any one specific woman.

I think I'm going through my mid life crisis, the seven year itch, and suffering because of my wife's mental illness all at the same time.

How is this a JW related topic? By JW rules I have grounds for divorce. Morally, I would feel guilty about leaving her while she's still in counseling, even worse if she offed herself as a result.

Can ya tell life is real fun for me right now? Still, I'm my old jovial self most of the time though my patience with my wife is almost nil, and I'm snapping at the kids a bit more too. Those who pray, pray for me. See ya in the trenches battling "hovah's Borganization.

Yeru (aka Mike)

jgnat

My mom has bipolar disorder. She had her first nervous breakdown when I was thirteen. Dad stayed until we were all grown (in the seventies, even with her incapacity, dad would have had trouble getting custody). Every couple of years, mom would hit another bad spot. With us kids grown and mom recovered from her latest hospital visit, he left.

Best thing he ever did.

Mom was furious. And bitter. Being the dependent end of a co-dependent relationship, she was convinced he would NEVER LEAVE HER. She wished him death. Tried to recruit us kids to her side. It has been over 10 years, and she has mellowed a lot. Dad blossomed and found a vivacious, energetic, independent woman. And married her, the smart man.

I am so proud of my dad for taking the moral high road, even if my mom would never acknowledge it as such. By the way, he was generous in the divorce settlement. Generous, but not stupid.

Food for thought, if it ever gets to be too much.

rocketman

Welcome back guy.

shamus

Hiya! Nice to meet you, and glad that all went well.

I cannot speak for what you are going through, if your wife is depressed. Checkout this website:

www.wingofmadness.com

They have a depression website only for those who have friends / family that suffer from this illness. Maybe it will help.

Take care.

Yerusalyim

Shamus, et al,

Thanks, for those of you that DON'T know my situation, you can look up my profile posting history for the November December time Frame. It's more than depression or Bi-Polar with my wife, she's got a Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka Multiple Personalities).

I'm having lots of fun otherwise though. Life is pretty good all things considered. "Always look on the bright side of life" (begins whistling). "Always look on the bright side of life" (begins whistling). "Always look on the bright side of life" (begins whistling). "Always look on the bright side of life"

Joyzabel

((((((((((Yeru))))))))))))

how are you doing?

I was worried that you had been sent overseas to take care of the boys!

Sorry to hear the homelife isn't going well, but knew that it would be a long, long road ahead of you. What you decide for yourself and the family is your "cross to bear".

Glad you let us know how you are doing.

Oh and BTW, congrats on such high rankings and scholarly achievements!

Hugs,

j2bf

outnfree

((((((((((Yeru)))))))))))

Glad to see you. Congratulations on your fine finish at school! and not a bad mantra you've got there! I know you feel badly about snipping at the kids, when it's the wife who is crazy-making, so I'm glad you went to a 12-step and are reaching out for support.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You're a good man, Michael. God doesn't mean for you to suffer so much that you lose your faith and lower your personal standards. Think hard about whether or not this marriage is worth keeping intact. Despite hairshirts and whips, God really isn't into self-flagellation. One sound parent is a helluva lot better than two sick ones. You needn't give so much that you give up yourself.

outnfree

SPAZnik

Welcome back Yeru. :)

Hang in der.

SPAZ

cruzanheart

Welcome back! We missed you! Hmm, mid-life crisis, you say? Well, for mine I started a business that got tons of publicity, was a lot of fun, and lost a tremendous amount of money in five years. And I didn't even come out of it with a red Miata. . . . Got the younger man, though, but then again I always had him!

Y'all be careful out there!

Nina

RAYZORBLADE

I had a partner that suffered from mental illness. It was like an entire psychiatric experience being with this person.

They have their good days; bad days.

Things can be going along wonderfully, then 'boom' - it's a complete turnabout.

Personally, I put up with it for as long as I could. I realized, the longer I remained, the more of their affect, affected me. Basically, their illusions and way of thinking was starting to influence me. They were mentally unwell, and I was NOT helping matters trying to satiate them.

I was going crazy, almost literally, remaining with them.

Counselling was encouraged/offered, but the person would go to 1 or 2 sessions, and then stop. Then they began to accuse me of trying to alter them, change them, take away their personality.

I put up with this madness for nearly 7 to 8 months.

When I made the decision to get myself out of this relationship, it was like a millstone was literally cast off. I felt immediately so much better.

They, did not. No one to feed their delusions and constant madness. I had enough. I did my part; they did not do theirs: time to look after number 1.

Yeru - I cannot suggest anything, I can only post this as a brief anecdote of my own experience. Everyones is unique. You have children to consider and heaven knows what else.

I do wish you well. I don't know about mid-life crisis, as I believe you are close to my age, and at 40 - I'm feelin' damn good. Could be just a result of the situation, besides, you've been through quite a bit recently outside of the family circle.

Wish you nothing but a positive outcome, and your happiness. Your happiness is paramount because so much depends upon it.

Extending my warmest thoughts. I hope things turn around for the better. Take care.

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