Hi all. I'm looking for a bit of guidance here and not really sure where to turn. Maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me out.
Currently I'm an awake, baptized JW. Have been for a few years. Ive remained semi active due to having friends and family in the truth. I have had limited success trying to wake up my spouse, however some progress has been made.
Recently a sibling of mine (a JW) has developed serious health problems, and is need of what is now a fairly urgent liver transplant. Being placed on the deceased donor list is effectively a death sentence for my sibling, since his/her stance on blood makes surgery riskier, therefore placed at the top of the list.
Living donation is now the only chance my sibling has to make it. Here is where things get a bit complicated. When I heard this news I, along with a couple other family members(active jws)volunteered to donate. My sibling then started planning for surgery. However when the surgery team here in Canada learned it would involve a jw donor, they refused, due to it being more risky for a transfusion free surgery. They will not risk a life unnecessarily. It's interesting they used the term "respect for life". He/she then informed us the only choice now is to find a surgeon in another country, and paying out of pocket( a massive amount of money they do not have) willing to operate on two JWs.
Now as an awake JW I very much do not share this stance on blood. So I meet with my sibling in private and make this point known. I will accept a transfusion if nessesary, and if I am compatible can do the surgery here in Canada. After the Initial shock, He/she was relieved, and agreed to not tell anyone and carry through with the planning.
However a few days later I get a call from my sibling, to say that he/she cannot accept my offer anymore as it would feel like "sharing in my sin". long story short, after a long discussion, his/her stance on blood and the "truth" only became more entrenched. It became about trying to correct me and my "wrong thinking". I was not making progress, and I could see where this was headed with talk of getting elders involved.
So I decided to back away from this argument until it has been determined I am even a compatible donor or not. Now my dilemma is: if the results come back that I am a compatible donor what do I do? Out myself and get DF'd, or back away from the situation and let another JW family member do the surgery?