UnshackleTheChains,
I am grateful you realized I was not reducing your situation to something it is not. Family is worthy of the sacrifices you make, and I am sure yours definitely is.
But also remember that familial love works both ways. You have a right to have your family love you for your personal choices. You can make them realize how much they are hurting you and not being truly loving by not supporting you. It works both ways. Tread carefully, yes--and you are to be commended for this because it shows real love and courage on your part--but also remember that its a family. They owe you their familial love just as much.
Let's say if, like me, you learned you were actually Jewish. Since 2001, the governments of Portugal and Spain have begun to offer people citizenship for those whose ancestors were expelled during the Spanish Inquisition. Now millions of folks who thought they were Latino have discovered they are actually Semitic, and many have discovered they have been practicing Jewish customs unknowingly for generations. The nation of Israel estimates there are some 10,000,000 of these Jews out in the world who are just learning of their Jewish ancestry, and that government has begun a process to offer citizenship to all these too.
What if tomorrow you learned this was true of you? What if you wanted to not only learn more about your ancestors but accept citizenship in one of these countries (along with your current one)? What if you wanted to do more and make a formal return to Judaism? Would your family support you? Would you not tell them how much their love and support was necessary for you at this junction in your life and how disappointed you would be if they shunned you? As you learned of family you lost to the Inquisition and read names of relatives you lost in the Holocaust to them, perhaps even have pictures of some as I do, and you showed these to your family, wouldn't you deserve their full support regardless of their current beliefs? Wouldn't you give it you someone in your family who is a JW who suddenly learned this?
Well, you don't have to be a Jew to deserve such support. You can simply choose another religion. Maybe you want to be agnostic. Perhaps you feel more comfortable as an atheist. Is suddenly realizing you are a Jew somehow more important that realizing that you truly don't believe in God anymore and want to be atheist? Of course not! Whatever you are now deserves, no, demands as much love and support from family and friends.
However you do it, again you are brave for going through this for your family. You are the judge of how long you do it or if you decide to do it forever till something gives. But you also have to be true and honest for yourself too. Sometimes you have to point a mirror at someone when they frown at you because they don't realize how ugly a face they are showing you. Sometimes you can turn the tables around and show them what they are offering you to eat, that it is not good. If they can force you to go through the motions at a Kingdom Hall you can demand they go through the motions just as much when you light a menorah at Chanukah or raise a banner in the name of atheism or whatever it is you want to do.
Wives have to love their husbands if they suddenly become Jewish or atheist or whatever, and vice versa. And children can be punished for disrespecting the personal convictions and customs of their parents. It's not your job to only love them. It's their job to love you back too. They have to. If they are going to be in your family, they have no choice.
