Do you feel that you are really YOU?

UnshackleTheChains

I am interested in finding out how you view yourself. Are really YOU when it comes to every day interactions....ie when at work, with family or friends, or if attending meetings?

If still attending, do you feel you are not the real you at meetings? Is it all a show? Do you feel you are putting on an act as a witness.? In regards to faders and ex witnesses, do you feel you are still not really you when in company with relatives or friends who are witnesses? Do you feel you are holding back all the time?

In my case, it's all an act. I force myself to go for family reasons. I am not myself when at the meetings. I am putting on a show. If I were to display my true thoughts and feelings, I would be kicked out of the KH within a flash. The only times I can be the real ME 'anonymously' is here on this forum. I can also be the real me with one work colleague whome I share my experiences with; a good genuine friend who has faded many years ago; a little bit with my wife ( though tread carefully); and a little bit with my over zealous 'loyal to the organisation' mother.

I am certainly not me generally which is frustrating. Hence the reason I like to vent here.

So ......do you feel that you are the real 'genuine' YOU whether you be a current jw, a fader, or an ex jw?

scratchme1010

Are really YOU when it comes to every day interactions....ie when at work, with family or friends, or if attending meetings?

I don't attend JW meetings, but at work and everywhere I go I am definitely me. I'm sure that if I create a different account and start posting, many people here will know that it's still me.

In regards to faders and ex witnesses, do you feel you are still not really you when in company with relatives or friends who are witnesses?

Not at all. One of the main reasons I was able to send the WT and the idiots at my last congregation to the carajo was precisely that I had to choose between making them feel comfortable or being myself. With my JW family, they all know well who/how I am. That's part of the reason some members of my family don't bother talking to me.

Do you feel you are holding back all the time?

No, but that doesn't mean that I am insensitive, or that I'm not tactful. You can be yourself and still be considerate to what your JW family believes and feels, even if that's not reciprocated, especially if you are aware that it will not be reciprocated. That will be great, but being a respectful human being (if you are in fact a respectful person) doesn't mean that their brainwashing and the behavior they are conditioned to reflect will change. It only means that you are you, a respectful person.

Now, please keep in mind that i have been out for decades and have taken plenty of time to mature and know myself really well. It's important to know yourself first before, well, being yourself.

Interesting post.

Bigdummy

You have a lot of the same feelings I have. I have been associated with wtbts for

60 years. I go to keep peace with my wife. I haven't been in FS for over a year.

My wife knows my feelings and we just kind of leave it at that. She is still in 100%.

I don't go the mid week meeting but I go on Sunday about 3 times a month but

I go out to the car during the wt study. I usually just read my bible during the talk.

Nobody and I mean nobody has ever asked me about why I don't go out in FS.

Two elders visited my wife and I about 2 months ago ( I'm sure my wife invited

them) and neither of them asked about my not going in FS anymore. No CO visit

either. I guess I'm fortunate. I don't make waves with doctrines anymore. I do my

own research and study. If 8 million people want to believe something I say let them.

i believe what I want so I will let people believe what they want. I don't feel like

debating people who are entrenched in a belief. If somebody wants to know what

I think I'll tell them. I'm not a conversationalist anyway.

UnshackleTheChains

Thanks scratchme1010 and Bigdummy

Bigdummy

60 years is a long time my friend.

Man you sound so like me. I told my works colleague that I no longer view myself as a JW, but rather 'a Christian' ....and that's it.

I only attend meetings now and again to appease my full in wife. The elders don't bother, because deep down they know my views and don't want to rock the boat.

I avoid the ministry as much as I can, but post blogs of my honest beliefs as a Christian. That gives me much comfort. Sadly, I have to go by an anonymous name for obvious reasons

Thanks UTC

tepidpoultry

I've been me all along,

Always different from the others,

Always doing what I thought was right by me,

As a teenager the only pioneer in the Congregation,

Through adulthood the only one visiting the sick and elderly,

Pretty much a loner

Out of step with "Jehovah's Army"

Unsuccessfully fought the AntiBeard Regulations,

I'm the only one I know who researched in a Christian College Library,

When I gave that talk nobody knew!

Well I am different,

There are people who think that I'm evil,

I don't think so

:0)

tor1500

Hi,

I am me at the hall but with a little salt....I don't believe all the stuff they say at the meetings...ever notice when the message of the meetings really hit home about something we shouldn't do or should do but we are guilty...or if the message is a UH? message like this one will be on Sunday, we are not inspired nor infallible....a message that will make you ask to yourself, well then who is running this org. that's when the friends will say the meetings was... A NICE REMINDER...that means their toes were stepped on but if the message was good and didn't point no finger at them, they say, Awe such a great meeting...

Most of the witnesses send their representatives to the hall...that's not who they really are....they are human just like anyone, but some how they don't think so...every now and again you have to remind them....most of the time witnesses are full of themselves...

I am the best me I can be...I could be someone else but that's taken already....not too many show the real them, they are afraid people won't like the real them...again, most of us send out our representative when we go out in public, most of us are not that polite, we can be grouchy, just plain miserable when no one is looking....

Tor

Rainbow_Troll

I think we are all slightly different people, depending on who we are with. It smooths social interactions to adopt, or at least accede to, the prejudices of whoever we are interacting with.

Of course, being a full time troll, I adopt the opposite approach; so, for example, I am a strict scientific empiricist when interacting with mystics or rational idealists, a fascist around anarchists, and an anti-sex puritan whenever I encounter members of NAMBLA; though privately I support all three positions.

flipper

Yeah, I'm really me. All 5 '8 and 200 lbs. of me. LOL.

Seriously though, I know what you're saying. It's a tough situation when we used to be JW's ( I've been out 14 years ) because it's a fake world. Everybody is fake as a JW for the most part. They all have to play a mind controlled role or keep that fake role up in order not to get kicked out - whether they believe the BS from WT leaders - or not. Even if they claim to believe in the " truth " - they still have to play a role and are enslaved- whether they realize it - or not.

I feel for you dude- I really do. If you get a chance try reading Steve Hassan's books on mind control - those books REALLY helped me after I exited the Witnesses to see just how deeply the WT Society controlled me psychologically. The tricks and schemes that cult leaders use- including WT leaders - are by design to entrap people into a closed system of thinking- a definite closed society for sure which does not allow open minded or critical thinking which causes people to have to play games and be fake in order to survive. It's NOT a healthy way to live, physically or emotionally.

In time if you can stop going to meetings you will find that not having to hear that WT mind indoctrination garbage spewed out over the platform will indeed help you be more at ease. I understand many can't stop attending cold turkey, but it will greatly assist you to think outside the JW box if you stop attending. It will heal yourself from the inside out actually. At least it did for me. I am a whole person now and I'm really me and I trust my instincts more than I ever have before. It's a peaceful feeling within. Not worrying about being judged or not needing to judge others - pretty cool stuff. Hang in there, take care, if you ever want to chat I'd be glad to chat sometime

Xanthippe

We're all multifaceted like diamonds. We use different parts of our personalities for different people, different occasions. I work with the public so I have to be the patient, caring part of me but I also have to be the won't take any shit part of me otherwise some of them would walk all over me. Frustration and annoyance has to be saved for when I talk to my colleagues and we can vent to one another.

With friends I adapt to their personalities. Some friends are more outspoken than others and I have to give as good as I get. Others are quieter and we can have deeper, more meaningful conversations.

I'm still working on personal boundaries. There weren't any in that religion. They're important in learning to be yourself, so you can say this is acceptable in our friendship but that is not. It's not something I grew up with and doesn't come naturally like it does with my daughter. She won't let anyone patronise her, ever.

What I find interesting is when I face the same situation as I did last month, last year, five years ago, is asking myself am I the same person or have I changed. Lately I'm finding I have more of a sense of humour than I used to have and it helps me to be myself. People will put up with a lot if you can laugh with them but it has to be genuine, not hiding animosity while pretending to joke with them.

Isambard Crater

Yes, totally. I'm PIMO (physically in, mentally out) and trying to fade. I have had to repress my true self at meetings and when associating with family, because otherwise I'd be DF'ed. It's really, really hard and has made me suicidal in recent times.

The hardest bit is seeing relatives, friends and congregants who are besotted with the organisation simply seeming unable to see the hypocrisy and other problems, leaving me feeling like it's ME who has the problem and is the idiot.

Do you feel that you are really YOU?

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