Should I just tell my parents

by BlackWolf 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • LisaRose

    You are making things difficult for yourself, it doesn't have to be like that. Saying that you "can't take it anymore" is a self fulfilling prophecy and set you up to make some very bad decisions. Step back from that and change the dialog in your head to "I am very frustrated right now, but I can do this". Develop some strength of character and focus on your schoolwork and prepare for your future life. I know a year seems like forever, but it will pass and if you are focusing on your goals it will pass that much quicker. Learning to deal with stress and channel your energies appropriately is a valuable life lesson.

    Every seventeen year old feels frustration at being close to adult hood but still having to be under their parents rules, being a JW just adds another level of complexity to the whole mix. If you feel you have to tell them your true feelings, then do so, but be aware that it could make your situation much more difficult in the coming year, depending on how they react. Yes, your parents will be disappointed if you express your true feelings, but that doesn't mean their love is conditional, only that they want what's they believe to be best for you. No matter what happens, show respect and love to them, you do owe them that.

  • Dreamerdude

    You have already proven yourself to be a strong your lady. You could look at the situation as a one year job assignment. Keeping peace with your parents will pay room and board, which is their legal and ethical responsibility. Don't put too much much energy into fighting them, but do put energy into getting your diploma and starting a career that will make it possible to support yourself.

  • Incognito

    Suggest you start expressing that you want to attend high school - no more home schooling. That will give you a much needed break away from home and will provide opportunity for interaction with others while also permitting you to earn a recognized HS diploma. A HS diploma should assist in the option of further education if you should decide to pursue it (do pursue it).

  • Crazyguy

    Ok if you have to be a really good JW until 18 then start leaving print outs of scriptures where Jesus says something about being loving not judgemental do not exalt etc. start giving answers at meeting again all about Jesus and how loving he was etc . Make the sick with the loving Jesus .

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Go live with your aunt, but only if she wants you there. Your parents sound pretty toxic.

    It would probably cause issues with her sibling (your mum or dad) but if she is a non believer and knows the shot they are dealing out she may well want to take you for a year or so.

  • KateWild

    BW, I am so sorry you had a big blow out with your parents. They sound very strict and determined. They are not listening to you at all, and it's down right not fair and unreasonable.

    I agree with everyone that you need to have a conversation with your aunt. Develop a trusting relationship with her, and see how she responds.

    Keep us informed

    Kate xx

  • FayeDunaway

    Call your aunt now and tell her what is going on. Keep her in the loop with everything that happens in your life. See if she is ready to take you in. Have you gotten a part time job yet? Are you driving? And yes get in a real highschool!! Are you allowed to make this decision on your own? If you live at your aunt's, you could join drama, clubs, go to prom. But you also lose your parents. Makes me so angry and sad.

    It's always Satan Satan Satan! It can't be that they're in a freaking cult, can it?

  • JWdaughter

    If you could go to public school while living at aunts home, that would be good so you can prepare for college, maybe get a junior and senior year so that you have college options. It's asking a lot of aunt, but will get your dad off the hook and give you a protected view of the big, bad, world. Might even be a selling point to parents that you don't want to check out of family life and live in the back of a boyfriend's van. Their plan sets you up for a desperate life. That means you won't come back out of conviction, but desperation.

  • out4good4
    They forced me to make a deal with them to try to be a really good jw until I turn 18, and then if I decide I don't want to be a jw they will kick me to the curb!!

    Can't you just feel of that love Jebus talked about???

    What they want is for you to not cause any ripples for them in the congregation no matter how much it hurts you until you're 18. They want you to continue to live a big fat lie for their convenience.

    Then, at their discretion, they can kick you to the curb and tell all of their JW friends that is is all your fault.

  • HBH


    Sorry about your parents. That's got to be a hard pill to swallow. Thank God you didn't get baptized. Lisa gives very good advice.

    At this point, you don't have to be a good Jw. You can refuse meetings and service etc. Sounds like they are telling you to live a double life for their own status in the cong. If you refuse and they get abusive, call the cops first. (When the cops come for domestic problems, the reflection is so bad on your parents to the BORG, that they will likely be put on restrictions in the hall, and loss of elder status.) But that would be an extreme move on your part.

    Unless your aunt get guardianship, your parents will have some control.

    The good news is, at least you know where you stand.

    Keep posting,


    ps FORCING you to be a good JW, can be considered emotional abuse, get more info on that.

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