What woke you up?

by HappyBlessedFree 45 Replies latest jw experiences

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  joe134cd

  There have been various posts on this topic over the years. The impression I get is there has to be some event or factor that motivates you to begin looking beneath the surface, and quite often that factor has nothing to do with 607BCE, Booze Rutherford or Top Shelf Tony.

  As a PIMI JW I hadn’t been happy in the religion for a number of years. Although, I was vaguely aware of dubious nature of date setting it didn’t really phase me. It wasn’t until I started visiting apostate web sites that I fully recognised the implications of an overlapping generation (that’s how asleep I was).

  i think the tipping point came with my unhappiness in the religion combined with a question I was asked by a work colleague , on the divorce statistics on various Christian faiths. Researching the literature I could find no statistical information on this subject with the JWs. I remember thinking if we are so good at applying Christian principles then why wouldn’t you want to advertise that fact. Out of frustration of finding nothing on this subject in the literature I was left with no other option but to google it. I realised that I was probably going to be dealing with apostates, but reasoned that I had a genuine question that I wanted answers to, and if wt didn’t want me going to alternative sites then they should of mentioned something in the first place. I sort of wasn’t surprised by what I found from jwfacts. It just saddens me that (well at least from a jw standpoint) that I ended up getting a reasonably truthful answer from a mentally diseased apostate. The issue I had was not so much on divorce itself but on watchtowers transparency and honesty in devolving information. If WT had stated something in their literature on this subject I would of been quite happy with the answer weather it was favourable or unfavourable, to the brand name. If they had of I would quite possibly sitting in the KH today (unhappy perhaps but still sitting there). When I received my answer I remember thinking if Wt is hiding this then what else are they hiding. 18 months latter from this point I physically walked out the door. That was nearly 6 years ago and I have no intention of going back.
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  paradiseseeker

  In my case I've been storing since my teenage years in my mind a lot of "points" I couldn't agree with or for which I couldn't find an explanation. I just tried to keep them concealed hoping that as an adult I would change my mind on some things or that I would come across some sort of information that would make things make more sense.

  I think that the first points were preaching (I hated it, it was an eternal frustration) and secular chronology vs Bible (like Egypt being out there as soon as 3500 BC).

  Then I started feeling uncomfortable with the shunning issue, the relationship with non-JWs and the way JWs are allowed to "confront" ideas (yours is the truth, don't let anybody change your mind, invite others to our meetings but don't go to theirs...), and of course how university is frowned upon.

  After that I remember being against encouraging children to get baptized, how most JWs are so judgemental when it comes to music (I started listening to heavy metal).

  And as part of my training as a teacher, you have to study how education changes people's lives and makes societies prosper, and you are presented a lot of info about the improvings that have been achieved in poor countries and how poverty is being reduced. That was much different from what you hear from the WT, so maybe "the last days", are not such a thing... Apart from the fact that you know that earthquakes are a natural phenomenon.

  I could go on with many other aspects and this process is not linear, I had moments of "spiritual recovery". However, I remember one night in 2014 when I realized that if I wanted to be an adult, or a whole and coherent person, I HAD to leave the JWs. After that moment I destroyed my investigation boundaries and read about Evolution, Crisis of Conscience, info about 607, the Australian Royal Comission, failed WT and Bible prophecies...

  And that sums up my whole process. Now I'm on my way to complete my exit from the WT.

  I hope you find this information interesting and/or useful.
• 

  Ex-JWs Brazil

  I left when I was 23 yo. The first cognitive dissonance I remember when I was 6 and was about the principle of hypocrisy from my mother.

  Then I've decided to study about the 1914 prophecy and started to research on Google about the Babylon the Great. That research led me to Ray's book and once I've read it I was out after one month later.
• 

  punkofnice

  I’m fairly new so I don’t know everyone’s backstory. How did you realize the organization was false?

  I was raised in the cult and always had my doubts from time to time. Sad to say the thought reform tactics of the corporation worked on my young mind to their favour.
  

  However, when I became an elder, I saw the vile truth behind the leaders. They are unloving perverts. They only care about themselves. Anyone that is dead wood or cannot provide money and/or time, is thrown under the bus using the pretext of 'love'. What a joke!! Not loving 'Xtians', self serving ego maniacs. They are their own god.

  I left and never went back. I am so distanced from it now, I have no feelings about the cult anymore.
  
  
• 

  Vanderhoven7

  Hey Punko,

  Glad to see you back and posting again. Glad too that the org has completely lost its hold on you.

  Vandy
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  punkofnice

  Hello, Vandy. How are you? You ok, mate?

  Well, I might not post much....but..yeah. The WBT$ doesn't even figure in the slightest in my life. Just distant unhappy memories that are so far removed now, I feel very little.

  I hope more can achieve this too. Once that cult forever loses a hold on you, the world is a better place.

  BTTT

  It really doesn't take much to see that it's all a lie. Questioning the doctrine and seeing what the answers are is a sure fire method to remove all doubt the the WBT$ is a lie.
• 

  snugglebunny

  I never actually enjoyed being a witness much. I detested meetings and door to door work. I just regarded those activities as essential to my surviving armageddon. I was always full of guilt and ready to confess to anything so that I might be "clean in Jehovah's eyes" and not be destroyed. I had classic fear of abandonment symtoms. But all the same, I just didn't want it to be true. I guess I was subconsciously looking for a way out.

  The crunch came after one particular group night. We were studying a book - I forget which one - that was trying to interpret the prophecies of Ezekiel. It was just so stupid that I wondered what the hell I was doing in such a daft religion. I became a disbeliever overnight.

  I'd been in a grim marriage to a JW woman. I'd been "on the rebound" when we'd met. My life at home was shit.

  Within a couple of days, glimmerings of possibilties began to surface in my mind. No more meetings. No more door to door work. I could smoke a cigar. I could buy a gold Dunhill lighter and grow my hair long. I could play snooker and gamble on the outcome. I could go to a boxing match. I could get drunk. I could visit discos, x-rated films, celebrate Christmas and birthdays, join a squash club and, particularly, catch up with some recently disfellowshipped old friends.

  So I did all those things. I enjoyed them all hugely at the time.

  I have no regrets.
• 

  apostatethunder

  Archimedes.
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  neat blue dog

  I woke up gradually over 6 or 7 years. However the catalyst to escape my passive attitude was the release of the new songbook in 2009 followed by the two DVDs about the 'history' of the organization. This got me looking at older publications, which made me see the org in a whole new light: as a very human organization. In 2010 I got internet for the first time and Googled Jehovah's Witnesses. I was immediately exposed to 'apostate' sites, and the rest is history. I did fight it for a while and tried to be an apologist, but by summer 2016 when I read the New Testament front to back with a fresh perspective, I was fully mentally out.
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  punkofnice

  Neat blue - The overlapping generations made me laugh so much, 2010 was my last Assembly. The wife left. The family went to pot. Years passed by. The dust settled and now I'm over it. I wanted revenge on the GB and the WBT$ but it doesn't matter anymore. They will come to dust as we all do. Everything has it's time and everything dies. Make the most of life now.....there's nothing after this lot.