A new step in my exit from the WT

by Skepsis 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Skepsis

    Hi, everyone!

    If you remember, I've been posting here my subsequent steps from a regular pioneer and MS at the beginning of this year to a rank-and-file publisher after stepping down as MS two months ago.

    During these months, I've been through a difficult way. But after every step, I could feel freer and better. I've met a person outside the WT that has changed my life forever and I have experienced a freedom of thought and an inner peace like never before.

    However, I knew that staying in my hometown would make my fading very difficult. I was serving in a foreign-language congregation, taking part in convention parts and well-known in my area. So, I decided that I have to move, far away, if I wanted to start a completely new life.

    And here, I am. In a different country where I just found a job and I'm about to start from scratch.

    So, I would like to ask for advice to all of you. I went to one meeting in a congregation in my new city for asking to the secretary's address. Then, I conveyed this info to my last congregation elders and now they're in the process of transferring my publishing card. Do you think I shall attend some more meetings until I am announced as a new publisher and then disappear? Here, I don't mind to deal with elders but wouldn't like that they inform elders back in my country although it would be very hard because of the language barrier. Or maybe should I make another congregation change in some months?

    Thanks for your help in these difficult times!

  • Incognito
    I went to one meeting in a congregation in my new city for asking to the secretary's address.

    Since your intention is to fade, why would you attend and make yourself known as a JW in your new location? If your old congregation elders didn't know where you had moved to, it seems to me you wasted a near perfect fade opportunity to just disappear.

  • Skepsis

    Hi Incognito,

    I don't want that elders in my country know about my fading but I don't mind here. I don't care about them, even if elders want to visit me in the future. I have no JW family or JW friends here. So stop attending meetings and reporting wouldn't be a problem for me.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    just dont go--you will soon be a distant memory. enjoy your new free life

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    I did exactly what you've discussed - moved to a different congregation a very long distance from the previous one, was announced as new publisher, then only attended once every several weeks. (for cover for distant family) Went cold turkey with answering, assemblies, and field service. Worked out perfectly for me. Everyone is different.

    I wish you well.

  • Giordano
    Or maybe should I make another congregation change in some months?

    I think it's a good idea if something comes up that gives you concern.

    However, so far your have a language barrier with your original Congregation in your new country.......... which will make it harder for them to follow up on you.

    However your present congregation doesn't know you and probably will not come looking. If they do......you simply are doing a lot of travel and you hope you'll be able to join in the meetings in the near future.

    I'd say ignore the meetings, concentrate on your job and wait and see if your now flying under their radar.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Just my opinion, but one meeting in a new place may not be sufficient. It is possible they will mail back your records if they never see you again.

    If you want to fade, I would skip weekend meetings and arrive late for a few mid-week meetings until I knew I was "announced." I think you have to turn in time once and wait past the end of a month.

    Then I would stop all attending.

  • Incognito

    I agree with Stan.

    I think for you to do as you did, it would have been better to attend a congregation some distance away from where you are actually living. That way, the new elders would not know your address and if asked, you could give the excuse that your residence is only temporary until you can locate a permanent home or apartment. As you will not be returning after a few visits, you wouldn't need to move again and, you remain unknown at your real new location.

    Perhaps you could have stated that your new work schedule appears to initially conflict with meeting times so you may miss some meetings until the schedule is resolved. Since you're new, once they don't see you for awhile, they will tend to forget about you.

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    I understand. I think you are doing it the correct way. Go to a few meetings. Do not however give them your cel phone, or address just yet. Just explain you will be getting a new one soon, or that you will be moving intoa new place blah blah. Then once your cards are there.......boom. Fade. Be patient. If you do it right, you will not regret it.

  • wifibandit

    I favor the "bounce" method.

    Move far away. Have your cards sent to a new congregation, preferably across town. Wait until announced in this new hall. Then, tell them that as you are new and still settling in, you will be moving to a different apartment in another territory. Cards get sent to another congregation and then you disappear.

    You "bounced" your cards off a congregation that doesn't know you, into another that doesn't know you -their final resting place.

    Even if they call your previous congregation, it is just the "bounce" congregation! They couldn't pick you out of a crowd.

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