Hello Everyone! This is my first post and I'm feeling like I'm doing something bad big time! I know on my mind it isn't, but the feelings are less manageable.
Well, since I'm still a JW it's better not to give too much info, but I'm from Brazil.
I've grown-up in the religion and practicly all my family, my closest friends and my girlfriend are loyal JWs. I used to be a regular pioneer but I still have a service privilege on my congregation.
I've had questions about the teachings of the WT since I was 10, but naturally I always pushed it away as it were "questioning the holy organization".
I started a friendship with some people in a course I took and we talked about a lot of subjects. Every now and then we talked about religion, christianity and JWs in particular. I defended the JWs every time, but sometimes I had to be disonest to them, like on the time I claimed we JWs have freedom to think and believe what we think it's better when the subject isn't clear on the Bible. I knew it wasn't true but when I uncounsciously prefered to lie then to tell them the truth I realized how important were the subject. After that I started to search about the Jws and religion in general. I bumped into a lot of things, since the mason CT Russell, to the apostle Paul being the antiChrist. I personally thought most of the material just like the WT literature: made to shock and get your attention but usually without any base for the allegations. After a time I decided that it was time to read R. Franz. This time I had the certain that I was missing. The JW is just another religion and R. Franz was maybe the most sincere of their leaders after CT Russell. It's funny the parallell between what they did to Franz (cast off) and what they continue doing to CT Russell (from THE FaDS to just one more sincere bible student). It's clear their preference for the authoritatian approach of JF Rutherford and his immediate successors.
Well after that I read Carl Olof Johnson, the second book of Franz and I'm reading Penton now.
I have tried to talk about these subjects with my parents. One of them, the one with higher education seems capable to talk freely about it. The other every time do what the WT tought to do : Close the doors of the mind. So I just can't continue talking to them so often about my questions.
It's important to highlight that my goal here in this forum, at least at this moment, isn't find a way to get out, but simply to have the oportunity to talk about the subjects freely. one may say I'm being a coward for not trying to get out, but, since I'm not an atheist, I know that this religion isn't the only one right but I don't either think it's the work of Satan. I'm just living my life without having to personally confront any of my JW friends, since it's obvious it's never going to go well.
PS: I do have some JW friends who I talk about it, but they don't live close and after all they still aren't desperate to get out.