What would make an Ex-Jw go back to been a full in Baptized JW

by LOLS 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • steve2

    I bet he did not fade due to having investigated his doubts and misgivings. I bet when he faded he still (kind of) believed it was "the truth". I bet "the seed" was simply dormant. I bet this took you utterly by surprise.

    This is a sobering example of the risk non-Witnesses take when they form relationships with faded JWs. You meet and fall love with him when he was faded and then his JW-side is reactivated, and you are now in a relationship with a different man. It is hard to know what to say - but I think it is fair to assume, you will be facing some big questions about the future of the relationship. I wouldn't recommend any rash decision-making but sooner or later it may be helpful for you to see a professional counsellor or psychologist (who understands the cult mentality).

  • Incognigo Montoya
    Incognigo Montoya

    I left, married, started a family, and then decided to go back. (I left after having been DF'd) I spent 13 years or so away. I had a personal tragic experience, and felt it was time to get serious about my beliefs. That whole time I never stopped believing. Every time I saw a crazy national, or world event, even a natural disaster, my mind automatically attributed it to the time of the end and the signs showing it was drawing near. I worried not only for myself, but for my family. Perhaps this is his reasoning? 'It might be too late for me, but if I just expose my wife and children, perhaps it will take hold in them and they will become good witnesses as a result.'; this was my line of reasoning.

    If he was raised as a JW, no doubt thats a large part in his decision. It can be so ingrained into you that its virtually impossible to forget. If his parents and family went back, or never left, this can play a significant role in his decision as well. It did for me.

    In simplified terms, if my parents taught me that the color Orange was actually Purple, instilled it in me, taught me from books, took me to meetings three times a week, where others taught me Orange was actually Purple, told me that my life depended on knowing that as fact. That everyone who ever told me Orange was actually what I was seeing, were all liars and were trying to mislead me. Even after opening my mind to the possibility, and being shown scientific, absolute proof, I would forever have a difficult time ever seeing Orange as Orange. I would always question if it were truly orange, or in fact purple. At some point, it may prove too difficult, even after learning the truth and accepting Orange is Orange, I may make the choice (even subconsciously) that it's easier, less exhausting, less stressful, to just go back to believing what I was taught as a child. After all, it can be easier to not think for oneself, and permit others to do your thinking for you, even if it means giving up the right to choose for ones self. This can happen to anyone, no matter their level of intelligence.

  • steve2

    Incognito Montoya:

  • Della Street
    Della Street

    1) He wasn't attending, but he never really left.

    2) Peer pressure. His family went back.

  • recluse

    getting older and gives him peace of mind

  • careful


    The only thing that would make me go back is a lobotomy.

    Now I've heard of these rogue surgeons ... want their address?

  • zeb

    could not find anything else to do with his time? Misses his mummy?

    and I agree with allthe above too.

    My sympathies with your self.... fasten your seat belt..

  • LOLS

    Good Morning Everyone

    Thank you for taking the time to answer my question & give your advice ....

    Much appreciated .

    I think you guys are right it must be to either please his Domineering Father(narcissist ) who is definitely the head of the family or because my husband turned 40 and was worried about what happens after he dies or not been able to live in paradise when Armageddon comes knocking ....... #rollseyes
    As far as I know they left after his mother had a stroke from drinking excessively when he was in his late teens .... and according to him he left cause he couldn't stick to all the rules & regulations & pressure they put on him when he was a teenager ...... But yes as someone replied to my question , I think it's got a lot to do with family pressure & blood is thicker than water ..... But what about his non-believing wife & children is he not worried about what will happen to them & not seeing them in this so called paradise .......

    The more I hear all the nonsense these people spew about their true religion , the more I am convinced my husband has been taken over by a cult ...... Luckily I'm a stubborn , very patient person & I will try get him back to thinking like a normal person one day & I am making sure him and his family don't brain wash my children into believing this nonsense .......

    Have a wonderful day everyone

  • Crazyguy

    Just found out a guy who had been dfd and out 30 years was just reinstated. Most exjw never do the research to find out its a lie. Some go back knowing it’s a lie for family.

  • carla

    I'm so sorry for what you will be going through now and in the future. I too am a ubm (unbelieving mate) and my jw joined up later in life. It was sheer hell for quite some time. Do all you can to protect your children from this insidious cult.

    Put up your Christmas tree (if that is a family tradition) and do all your regular holidays, birthdays, etc.. It is his choice not to belong and join in long held family traditions. Let him know in no uncertain terms that none of you will be joining his 'religion'.

    My ubm tip of the day, try not to call it a cult in his presence, they really hate that! lol, even if it is true. You will become the enemy and then any conversations you may have had he will not listen because you are an 'opposer'.

    If your kids are minors make sure that in the event of any accident YOU are called first and let your doctors know in advance that you will accept blood products for your children. Get your records up to date as well. It is a hard pill to swallow knowing your own husband will let you die so he does not suffer any wrath by allowing you life saving blood. Understand that he if he ever alone with children or grandchildren he will attempt to convert them and will lie to do so. Protect your children spiritually, physically and emotionally.

    Do not allow children alone with jw's period.

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