Writing my Disassociation letter

by Bebopin 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • kairos

    Breaking free is a great move.

    I passed my judicial committee invite letter by e-mail and FB messaging for "admitted apostasy" amongst the most gossipy people in my town prior to my DFing announcement.

    I'm sure the word spread like wildfire, because I only sent the note to neighboring cong members, not my own, which had a local needs talk on apostasy and the warning about e-mails from them. Ooops! Too late

    Everyone in my circuit knows I left on my terms and I'm glad for doing it.

  • Bebopin
    Thank you guys for all your advice I really appreciate it. This has been on my mind alot do or don't I write the letter. I'm really appreciative to here the advice from those who have been there and done that.
  • Makemeanunbeliever
    Do not do it.
  • bradford

    The letter won't get the attention you think it deserves. You will eventually get a phone call from a couple elders asking if you want to meet. They want to make sure you are sure and of the right mindset to make the decision you have made. .what you decide there is up to you.

    Good luck.

    I regret sending my letter. I feel like I could have done a lot more good fading and working under the radar. If you have any hopes of slowly working on friends or family to see the cult for what it is think hard about falling into the trap of disassociating and playing right into what the organization would want from someone who has found the real truth.

  • smiddy

    I have mixed feelings about sending my letter , even though it was twenty years after leaving .

    In one sense it satisfied my belief that I DF them , though in reality they would never read it out like that at the KH.

    Secondly , I tend to agree with bradford`s sentiments , maybe I could have been more effective with former associates .

    I have no family in except for a niece.


  • dubstepped

    Everybody struggles with whether or not to write that letter. It is never a good time because all options suck. Stay in and watch over your shoulder while delaying what is often the inevitable shun gun that you'll have to face sooner or later from friends and family, or bite the bullet and get peace now but hasten the shunning. We left it up to a few things, one of which notably was whether or not elders called on us. If we could be left alone that seemed okay, but family already shunned us anyway. As soon as elders called on us we used that as a trigger to pull the pin and blow it all up. You'll likely never be truly ready because you are entering the unknown for you. Fear always lies in the unknown. In our case freedom and peace were what we unwittingly feared. It is awesome to loosen the chains and walk away, no longer caring about their judgements. We don't care what they say about us. They're of no consequence whatsoever because we're no longer tethered to them.

    In all seriousness, you do have to weigh your options. Nobody can do that for you on here. You can't unring that bell, and that scared me to death. My wife was ready to pull the plug before I was, but waited and we DA'd together. If was awesome and life has never been more free. Even clients of ours mention how much lighter and happier we are. It's like you've been running a race with a 100 pound backpack on and you just sit it down and walk away.

    As far as trying to get others to think in the org, that's on them. I'm not needed to save anybody. Nobody saved me or my wife. It seems most people exit on their own. Very few seem to have an apostate that was still in that somehow influenced them for the better. For most of has to be the right time and they have to have what it takes to battle the cognitive dissonance. Nobody can do that for them. People like go think they're going to somehow bring down the org from within like some sort of secret agents, bit it's still there and growing. We wanted to move on with our lives, not keep playing their games.

  • Bebopin
    Thank you Dubstepped I really appreciate your advice. I think I feel the same way I might as well get it over with. I feel I'm just prolonging the inevitable by not DAing now. I'm sure I will get the elders call eventually probably sooner rather then later with how open I've been with my opinion of late. I hate this cult.
  • dubstepped

    I feel you bebopin. I had questioned a few things and expressed some frustrations because it just got to a point of absurdity and I couldn't hold back. My mom pretty much deemed me an apostate years ago and went behind my back and told the only real friends I had so they could fix me I guess. I wasn't back then, but now I hate them all and their stupid cult. They are paranoid and push people away. I eventually blew up at my mom because they shunned my brother and even his wife even though she had nothing to do with anything. They didn't even see her as a human person. It was all just so stupid and when pressed on it I lost my sh-t. JWs are vile, narcissistic jerks that think everyone should be like them or die. I didn't want my name to be associated with them or their way of being. I took a stand when I joined the religion as a teen, and I took a stand at 38 and told them I was done because I wanted to be a better person than that. Being cut off does sting, but they were toxic anyway as are most, if not all JWs. It hurts sometimes, but freedom isn't free, there's always a cost.

  • kairos
    It hurts sometimes, but freedom isn't free, there's always a cost.

    Escaping the watchtower always comes with injury.
    Everyone knows this. It's even in the magazines and experiences.

    That fairly recent "Prodigal Son" video was what I saw after my last convention.( We took a chartered bus from to Napa from SF Cow Palace, so we got to watch the video on the ride home. Yippee!! )

    I was only occasionally attending the meetings then and that video coupled with an honest evaluation of the way I was being treated by "the friends" was enough for me to find the door for good.

    That's the hardest part about leaving. Finding the door.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim
    Yeah, the cost of freedom can come with great pain. Freedom is by no means cheap.

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