Writing my Disassociation letter

by Bebopin 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    If you play by their rules, they win. Their rules are designed to protect their flock from you. Officially disassociating puts out a warning to all JWs not to listen to anything you have to say. Even more importantly, it warns them not to answer your questions.

    All of your JW life, they have been warning you and your friends and family, not to listen to apostate reasoning. What makes you think that your family are different, and will listen to you? especially once you have your Apostate hat on?

    Instead of telling them what you think, make them think. Ask them sincere questions, one at a time, that they think/pretend/boast they should be able answer. Make them do the research and the reasoning and put them on a guilt trip if they try to weasel their way out of it, or use any kind of psychological warfare to get you accept illogical answers.

  • LevelThePlayingField

    Just make sure that you really think this through. Remember they all will shun you for good. Compare that feeling against the feeling you have of "always having to look over your shoulder" and people nagging you about the meetings. It may seem nice to be "free" but free is really a state of mind. Because you are already free. The people who go to the Kingdom Hall and are believers in what the Governing Body says are not free. But you don't believe all that now already. So you are already free. So, can you live with yourself and just be able to simply and politely turn down the requests to go to the hall?

    Think about. How different would it really be than if you never were a witness? They would be asking you to go to the hall just like they are now, right? Right. So if you never were a witness, never had that belief system, then you could just simply say no thank you and move on with your day. Well, you are actually in a very similar situation now. Maybe show up to the Memorial, just like a worldly person does annually, to make the family happy, and you're good for another year. And you get to keep all the friends that YOU like. And all the JW snobs that you don't, forget them. Just like in the world.

    So keep the best of both worlds, if you choose to. Just something to consider.

  • Landy

    Just leave it and walk away - you don't owe them anything.

    forget about it and get on with your life.

  • Stealth

    Do you understand that if you DA it is the same as being DF and your family members are required to shun you?

    Are you prepared to be cut-off from your mother and brother for good?

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    why do anything by their pathetic rules-?-i quit completely 40 odd years ago--no letters--and certainly no once-a -year passover nonsense.
  • Landy

    Looking at it objectively, although I'm sure places like this can be a benefit to people wanting to stop being a JW, the last couple of weeks on here has shown that it can turn a very simple process of stopping going into an overly complex, dramatic and bitter process.

    The OP seems to be a good example of this.

  • Lost and adrift
    Lost and adrift

    I wouldn't write anythin cos your family will shun you ...do NOT give them the power over you !

    They must obey the mother ship at all times. ...

  • Giordano

    Your mother and younger brother will be compelled to shun you likely for the rest of their life if not then they in turn could be DF.

    You will be considered an apostate and the congregation will hear about your DA exactly as if you were DF "Bebopin is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" meaning you will be lumped together with people who didn't leave for principle that it was no longer the truth. You join, as far as the congregation is concerned, with the ranks of those who displayed criminal conduct, who abuse children, who were fornicators etc.

    Apart of me just wants my JW mother to know I don't believe in it anymore. I know if I tell her up front she will go to elders anyway.

    What I would do if I was you would be to tell your mother that the Society has a serious pedophile problem and they are pretending that they don't. So over the years there has been a lot of abuse never reported to the police.

    Google JWs pedophile problem and read on it. If in researching it you are moved and angered about situation you can convey to your Mom that this issue has created a huge problem for you and you are not happy about this matter and will not consider returning until reforms are in place to keep children safe. Do not discuss anything else with her related to doctrines, flip flops etc.

    If she goes to the Elders about it what can they say........ that your wrong........ that there's no evidence. They can't say that and I doubt if they would even approach you about it. Stick with that one issue if anything comes up.

    Your Mom will have a hard time disagreeing with you no matter how hard she try's to get you back to the meetings etc.

    Of course for others DAing themselves can often be a necessary decision, a strong part of who and what they are and beginning a healing process.

    Either way I wish you well.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    You can be honest with your mother.

    Even if she goes to the elders, no problem there.

    If elders contact you, politely but firmly refuse to talk to them, ask them to never contact you again. Don't offer any explanation, they are not entitled to hear it.

    With only one witness (your mother) and no confession, there's nothing they can do.

    You told your mother, played the elders but not by their rules. You win.

    At least, this worked in my situation (replace mother with wife).


  • dubstepped

    Disassociating is officially quitting their game. Staying in is like hitting the continue button so you keep playing. Congrats on taking a stand. I wish more would.

    As for your mom, just sit her down and tell her how to feel and then hand in your DA letter to the congregation if you want. Again, do it on your terms and enjoy the peace that comes with DAing. It feels great.

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