My Cognitive Dissonance is Eating Me Alive (Intro Post)

by pometerre21 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • pale.emperor

    Welcome Pom

    Let me just say that we all understand. Every one of us have been through the exact same things as you. I've been out about a year and a half. I had little doubts for years that I ignored and just focused on the good things JWs have.

    For me it was the rules upon rules, interfering elders, this snitching culture and this idea that we need magazines to study the bible and the governing body to have a relationship with God.

    Read up on and also there's a book by ex Governing Body member Ray Franz. It's absolutely worth the read, it'll open your eyes and make you wise about some things. PM me for a copy of you wish.

    Come back and vent. It's good to air your feelings. We'll look after you on here and support you.

  • Moster

    As they say "It's a cult".

    You will recognize that as 'truth' soon enough. My mother used to always say to me "I can't believe people think we are a cult". She used actual cult mentality, because JW's are taught NOT to question anything, NOT to read any other literature etc. even though 1 John 4:1, 1 Thes 5;21 and Matt 7:15-20 instruct us to 'test the spirits'.

    Not gonna lie - it takes a loooong time to rid oneself of the brainwashing.

  • LisaRose


    You are only conflicted now because of years of them telling you that only they have "the truth" that only they do this or that. Get away from it for a few months and you would be surprised at how much clearer everything becomes. The reality is that most of their teachings do not stand up to scrutiny and they have lied about their history.

    As to peace and love, I personally didn't see it, nor many others. I have since visited other churches and found them to be much more caring to fellow members. Do they visit sick people, take them meals? Do they go to the nursing homes to visit anyone? Other religions do this.

    Unified? I guess, but that unity is based on a strict control over what people think, do and say, and based on seven man's thoughts and whims. How much of what they require is not actually found in the bible? Sure they can pull scriptures out to justify just about anything, but that doesn't make it right, they are cherry picking to justify their intent.

    The preaching work? How effective is it really? Virtually no one in China and other parts of the earth have ever heard of the religion. Even in areas where there are more JWs, most people know nothing of the beliefs, only that they stand around by a literature cart and don't celebrate christmas, so how effective is it really? Most JWS know this, which is why most service is perfunctory, for the minimum amount they can get away with.

    Keep asking questions, only an organization with something to hide is afriad of them.

  • Funchback
    "People always say that there's no other organization on Earth like this one. No one has the peace or love that we do."

    Welcome to the forum!

    Which people say this? Only those within the JW org.

    What peace do you mean? The child abuse policy? The cliques? The feeling of never doing enough?

    What kind of love do you speak about? The constant gossiping and backstabbing love? The do-as-we-say-or-get-disfellowshipped type of love? The conditional love? The shunning love?

    You have an entire, amazing future in front of you IF you begin to live for yourself. You will find true happiness if you really seek it. The JWs are happy, not because they truly are, but because they are told over and over again through indoctrination that they are a happy people.

    So, don't say you're happy. Instead, simply BE happy. Live YOUR life. Enjoy every second of it. You deserve it!

  • redpilltwice

    Welcome to this forum, many have listened to their conscience since Candace Conti, the ARC, lying elders/GB members and other scandals brought to light how far the WT is prepared to go in order to whitewash their history of doctrinal lies and to hide info for their members. You've found a safe place to vent doubts, frustration and where you can find people who understand your situation without judging you for being honest and disagreeing with the GB. Tons of info to be found, including official WT letters that can give insight in the WT's doubletalk and lies. Bite through the pain and confusion and keep on searching for all that info that the Borg tries to hide for you. It is everyone's right to be informed and to have a chance to view both sides of a story.

    The cognitive dissonance hurt many of us, including me, but believe me, it gets better in time and it's better to be (mentally) free than to be a WT slave under false conditions. It's cruel of the WT to hold members captive with fear, lies and false hopes...

  • Diogenesister

    Welcome to the forum!

    I know it is all so utterly overwhelming. But take your time, if you honestly have questions, how can any loving father condemn you for wanting to find answers? Remember, JW leaders are only other people, don't conflate God with a man made organization. But before you need to get into doctrine ( and for that I recommend, the lovely, truly humble Paul Grundy only uses Wtbts publications, so you don't have to feel anxious.

    Away from doctrine, please please have a look at this amazing video by Theramin Trees, in fact all his videos are fantastic, but first please look at this one. He is qualified in psychology and philosophy ( which I highly recommend studying if you can, however basic)

  • Diogenesister

    Here's another fantastic one called " punishing doubt". I'd also highly recommend watching Leah Rimini's series on Scientology. I know it seems far fetched at first, but you might find they have a lot of similarities to Jehovahs Witnesses.

    You mention educated people in Watchtower. Hopefully the above video helped you understand that very intelligent people can become prey to undue influence or high control groups. Anyway this one may help you feel better about questioning your Faith, or in fact anything.

  • pometerre21

    Wow. Honestly, reading all of your responses helps me feel a lot better. And posting here helps as well. And @Funchback, I’ve definitely had that feeling about the “Love” too. And the thing that other people use on me, that “You can go anywhere in the world and a JW will accept you” I’ve always kind of thought that it was because we’ve been told to be like that. And also because there aren’t that many of us in the first place.

    I just read the Mind Control section on JWFacts and my head is still spinning. I’m one of those people that expects things right away, but all of your responses tell me that it’s okay to not be able to process it right away.

    I still even feel guilty posting here!

  • undercover
    I just read the Mind Control section on JWFacts and my head is still spinning. I’m one of those people that expects things right away, but all of your responses tell me that it’s okay to not be able to process it right away.
    I still even feel guilty posting here!

    It will take time to process. It will even be a three steps forward, two steps backwards progress. You'll think you've got a handle on it, then you doubt yourself. You actually doubt your doubting. That's the indoctrination still holding on.

    It gets better over time. In time, you will resolve all the issues that concern you the most, and all the little deals that aren't worth a lot of worry will slide off, and you'll move forward even more.

    It took me weeks to work up the nerve to post here - a long time ago. And even then I wasn't sure what the heck I was doing. Was I making a mistake, or was I really finding out I was in a cult?

    Welcome, and keep researching all your doubts and questions.

  • stuckinarut2


    You are truly a humble and genuine person. This is evident because you are allowing yourself to research and question everything. That is healthy!

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