I've been lurking here for a couple of weeks now. I'm starting to "awaken" and it is all that has been occupying my mind.
I've always, always had doubts, some of which I expressed to family members who always had the same replies:
"You don't always have the answers."
"You can't get answers right away."
"Where is your faith?" (Certainly not in seven men, that's for sure.)
"It's god's law and that's that."
etc. etc. etc.
What truly started this awakening were these child abuse court cases. I've come on this forum and some other sites, and although in the back of my mind there is that "conscious voice" that tells me that this is "just" apostasy, I can't ignore it anymore. I have so many more questions now, and I will continue to do research.
But then in the back of my mind, I'm still holding on, and I don't know what it is I'm holding on to anymore. People always say that there's no other organization on Earth like this one. No one has the peace or love that we do. No one is as unified or organized as we are. No one publishes in as many languages...And that IS, to some extent, true. How do people come into this organization (that haven't been born in)? Even college educated ones? All these thoughts keep running through my mind, even as I do research into whatever this is that I'm still part of. Sometimes what they say just seems so "airtight" and Bible-based, and then I think, how can I argue with god?
I have so much more to say, and I'm sorry this post doesn't have much substance other than to get these introductory things off my chest. I'm so glad I've found a place to voice my thoughts.