My Cognitive Dissonance is Eating Me Alive (Intro Post)

by pometerre21 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • pometerre21

    Hi Everyone!

    I've been lurking here for a couple of weeks now. I'm starting to "awaken" and it is all that has been occupying my mind.

    I've always, always had doubts, some of which I expressed to family members who always had the same replies:

    "You don't always have the answers."

    "You can't get answers right away."

    "Where is your faith?" (Certainly not in seven men, that's for sure.)

    "It's god's law and that's that."

    etc. etc. etc.

    What truly started this awakening were these child abuse court cases. I've come on this forum and some other sites, and although in the back of my mind there is that "conscious voice" that tells me that this is "just" apostasy, I can't ignore it anymore. I have so many more questions now, and I will continue to do research.

    But then in the back of my mind, I'm still holding on, and I don't know what it is I'm holding on to anymore. People always say that there's no other organization on Earth like this one. No one has the peace or love that we do. No one is as unified or organized as we are. No one publishes in as many languages...And that IS, to some extent, true. How do people come into this organization (that haven't been born in)? Even college educated ones? All these thoughts keep running through my mind, even as I do research into whatever this is that I'm still part of. Sometimes what they say just seems so "airtight" and Bible-based, and then I think, how can I argue with god?

    I have so much more to say, and I'm sorry this post doesn't have much substance other than to get these introductory things off my chest. I'm so glad I've found a place to voice my thoughts.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Welcome. There's nothing wrong with questioning.

    I did not leave concerning child abuse and I assumed it was overblown when I first heard it. Looking further into it helped me see what a real issue that was.

    Do your research and much of that cognitive dissonance will clear up.
    An organization that tells you not to read outside information should be questioned with outside information.
    You will get plenty of good advice. I will just say, "Start at jwfacts . com and see where that takes you.

    Edited to add: I hung on for years from within the congregation when I had doubts. So when I finally cleared them up, I did leave quickly. The point- it is a way of life, it is embedded in your head, so it is tough to let go.

  • Splash


    I know just how you feel because I was there myself a while back. It's like you can't believe what you hear is really true and everything that you've been told in the past is thrown into doubt. It really consumes you to think that maybe it isn't the truth after all. It has to be, right?

    Well just keep researching. Be true to yourself. Don't be afraid to let yourself ask questions and find out for yourself. Recognise when you have factual information and when you are being fobbed off.

    You may know some good things about your religion, but there are good things Catholics point to about theirs too. And every other religion. Do those things make your religion true? What about the false teachings in your religion? What about the mental anxiety your religion causes you, probably without you even recognising it? (e.g. if you don't go out on service, have low hours for the month, miss a meeting, don't pre-study your watchtower, having a talk on the school, an elder asks to give you a shepherding visit...)?

    Just do your research and relax. Vent on here, we won't add to your fear or anxiety.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    hello Pom--welcome to the site. what do you think of it --so far ? helpful ? scary ?

  • freemindfade

    Welcome, it can be a daunting journey, but one day you will look back and be amazed out how far you've come

  • JakeM2012

    Welcome to this forum. I look forward to hearing more about your journey. At first it can be overwhelming but hang in there.

  • LovingLifeNow

    I remember the first year, I was in a similar situation, It was all I thought about all the time, but in time, you will normalize .

  • Finkelstein

    Welcome to the forum Pom

    The WTS is inherently a corrupt commercialized fraud that uses fear, ignorance, guilt to control people and that mostly involves the continuing proliferation of the WTS's own publications.

    Its really a business that exploits the Gospel of Jesus Christ to put it in a concise description.

    How does it accomplish this ?

    It claims to have the true interpretive understanding of the bible and they will demonize anyone or any source that opposes their own interpretation(s)

    That's why the JWS describe themselves as being in " The Truth " other Christian based faith as described as false or unrighteous forms of Christianity.

    The WTS indoctrinates people to serve its own means and is quite apathetic to all other concerns particularly toward humanity as a whole or the individual.

  • steve2

    In JW organization you've been conditioned to urgently sort everything out through faith in the GB and loyalty to their directives.

    In real life, sorting everything out is ideal but not necessary...and there is no urgency to do so. In fact, hype about the nearness of the end does not equip people to make considered decisions. Quite the opposite: It reduces the ability to calmly weigh up information and reach sound conclusions.

    Time is on your side. You do not need to sort everything out either urgently or otherwise. The big questions in life deserve your attention and reasoning free from JW organization's "FOG" (Fear, obligation and guilt).

    Take your time. There is no emergency. I wish my grandparents had realized this back in the 1920s and 1930s.

  • jp1692


    Please continue to voice you’re thoughts here. It’s a healthy way to reduce the dissonance.

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