Same here, also PIMO for several years, can`t leave due to family situation. Often I feel stuck, lonely and frustrated. To some decree I can talk about some of my concerns with my wife, she agrees often and is not shy to critisize the org, even gb members. But for her, the truth remains the truth, and I think it would be emotionally damaging to her, if I draw her out at this time. maybe this will change in the future, who knows.
But even to her I could never admit that I`m conversing with apostates....so yes, being a spy is a lonely place...
In the meantime, I try to be as Christian (in the true sense) as possible and let reason rule in my dealings with others, often picking more liberal viewpoints, sometimes expressed in the org literature.
In real life though, I´m tending more towards agnosticism.