My heart goes out to you. Life is so unfair sometimes. I truly understand. I was in much of the same dilema when my son decided he didn't like living with me and so went to live with my X-inlaws. Wasn't much I could do about it. The important thing was for him to continue school and graduate. Our connection was so damaged when he went with them, and they weren't even JW's. I had the mother-in-law from hell.
When my son was about to graduate, I kept waiting to hear something from him, or get an invitation--anything. I mean, I am his only surviving parent, right? I finally called and he told me he could only invite two people--and that it really was no big deal.(gulp) Guess who those two people were? Right. X-in-laws. My heart was broken. I gave it a lot of thought, a lot of tears flowed. Then I came up with somewhat of a solution. I contacted a friend of mine from school, who's son was graduating at the same time from the same school. She was able to get up close and snap some pictures of the moment my son got his diploma. Then she sent me the photos in the mail. It wasn't the same, but it sure was better than nothing at all.
I never did get his high school picture. I kept asking him for one, and he kept "forgetting". When kids reach 18 or older, it's their life. Your daughter is an adult. You've done everything possible that you can do. So, you have to "let go".
I wish you all the best. You aren't alone. I know it hurts so much.