When my brother got out he went a little nuts for a wile. I think having someone in control of every part of his life for so long then suddenly loosing that control left a confused state until he established his own limits for himself. he is fine now, better then ever in fact, but I think there is a big adjustment that everyone needs to make for themselves, some learn self control some long for the control of others.
some times, other ex-jw's piss me off, not sure....
by jwbot 36 Replies latest members adult
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cellomould
I have had dreams where I return to the Kingdom Hall, and I am feeling awful because I believe not a pissdrop of what is being taught there.
In one such dream, the man on the platform was one of those 'reformed' JW types, with tatoos hidden beneath his shirt and tie. It made me very angry (in my dream still) to see everyone listening to him...
...and ignoring me
I appreciate your comments, jwbot
cell[:o)]mould
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obiwan
I dunno, I'm kinda torn on the subject. I fall into both catagories on the one hand ever since I was a child I always had the "truth" force fed to me, I new it didn't feel right the only real joy I had was going home from meetings or field service, I felt that there was something better, I could never see myself growing old as a dub. On the other side I met a sister that I fell madly in love with and decided I would marry her, and of course we did the deed before we were married, I was df'd she was hurt and afraid and didn't want anything to do with me. I was really mad about the whole thing and felt I didn't do anything wrong because I truely loved her, I felt the rules on that were wrong and I could not see my way back to the borg for ruining the relationship I should of had.
Ever since then I've been pretty melow and cruising along.....so I don't know how to honestly answer your observation on the situation.....sorry
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Valis
I find it sad they just don't have convictions, the fact that they are out is great, and maybe they will mature. It just makes ex-jw's who are responsable, educated, etc, look bad.
To the first highlite...You say you try not to decide what is right or wrong, yet you throw in the word conviction slyly. You are aware of the definition are you not? From Merriam Webster's Online.
3 a : a strong persuasion or belief
How far does, or by what does one have to be persuaded to have convictions? Does one have to jump from being a Witness to a Southerm Baptist or a member of the Church Of Satan for that matter? Your broad brush doesn't apply, nor does your attempt to judge other based on your own convictions, your concept of what maturity is, or that there is some expected modicum of behavior for XJWs your last highlited statement implies. You can say you are not judgemental, but your words don't match that intent. As well, I left because I wanted to do WHATEVER I wanted to do, and yes I have engaged in what you term as "bad" behavior, but see that's all about being able to make life choices on your own and doing so with the realization that others won't be irritated or see you as other than just plain human. What a concept huh? BTW, I currently teach at a community college, pay my bills, love my children, help my friends, AND party lika a rock star...Jesus lordy where are those convictions Valis?!?! Doesn't happen when you are a dub for sure and one has to be on guard when they relate to others as to not have the old dubbie ways of demeaning the experience of others to come back and invade their new life.
ANYTHING but "Oh I just wanted to watch rated R movies and bang billy on the football team and have fun". It just sounds irresponsible.
We certainly wouldn't want anyone acting like human beings engaging in normal human behavior now would we?. Why does leaving the JWs for those reasons sound irresponsible? I'm thinking because it doesn't jive w/your set of convictions. Or perhaps you would prefer everyone leave because of scholarly/belief issues. Would that sate your need to denigrate the reasons why people leave or at least match your set of convitions sufficiently? Certainly pleasant to entertain, but not practical or even something that is reasonable to expect.
Sorry if I am a bit forward with you, but I certainly hope you can come to the conviction that the human condition includes living life to the full, for better or worse. That is after all, how any reasonable person comes to adopt real convictions that matter. Have a good day and welcome to the forum.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Kaethra
Valis,
You're right that we shouldn't be judgemental about others' reasons for leaving the jw world. I really don't care if someone has initially left to do all the fun things they've never been allowed to do. What does annoy me though is those jws who have left solely for those reasons but still defend jw beliefs tooth and nail. In a way I can understand why they do that, but it still drives me a little crazy.
K
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gsx1138
Well I had started to really question the WTS beliefs before I was DF'd but once I had sex it was on like Donkey Kong. I had to have more and couldn't possibly understand how something so awesome could be so bad. After my Df'ing I did drugs, got drunk all the time, had tons of sex and then a little more. For about 6 years after my Df'ing I totally defended the WTS. Then as reality set in that there was not going to be any Armageddon I changed my outlook. I realized that I was going to have to learn how to exist in the "real" world. Being raised a JW you have very little in the way of skills for dealing with such things. Now, the WTS is a distant memory which is why sometimes I have a hard time relating to people here who are still fresh out. I wouldn't judge too harshly because sometimes it takes a pretty big epiphany to wake someone up.
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Farkel
: Ok, one of my annoyances are ex-jw's (or reinstated ones) that left purely to be "bad" (none of these things I label as bad, but maybe destructive behavior, for example: irresponsible promescuity, drugs, etc.)
This sort of thing happens every day in the JW religion. What planet are you from?
: They engaged in destructive behaviors and basically, made ones who left for what I think to be <i>real</i> reasons, like finally understanding the hipocrazy of the org, etc.
A blanket (and stupid generalization).
Before I get flamed, I will try to explain, because I think some of you might agree.
You won't get any thinking people to agree to that generalization. Yes, some ex-dubs go crazy, just as some Iraqis went crazy when they were liberated. Then they settle down. Give them a break.
: On my livejournal, I get a couple types of people that post replies to me. Those that support me, (yay), JW's who flame me, etc. But one type is the ex-jw or reformed jw who goes on a rant about how "leaving the truth ruined their lives" because they became addicted to drugs, had a billion sex partners, went to clubs and almost always ended up in the hospital. Just justifying the horrid religion in their eyes, how it "protected" them.
I'm not going to support you nor flame you: I'm just stating that your argument is incredibly stupid. I'm saying this because your argument doesn't recognize ex-dubs as just regular people, but as people who "go wild."
You must work for the Watchtower Printing Corporation(tm) because they present the same type of idiotic arguments.
Farkel
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jwbot
Valis, Farkel, you grossly misunderstood me. Sorry if a worded anything incorrectly, I was just spewing out exactly what was on my mind before organizing it. I do not feel all ex-jw's are like that...not in the least. I am one, and others on this bored are, and they are not like that, in fact, I might think the majority are not like that, BUT some ARE. And I am talking about those that leave SOLEY to do "bad" things.
I am not saying what I feel is bad. Some may feel I am morally corrupt, I am bisexual, have many piercings, watch violent movies, erotica, have a tattoo and I do not have any religion or beleive in God. I do not find those things to be bad, its my choice. I am also not labeling any action as "bad" hence the generous use of quotations, and some things I mentioned were marely examples of what some others might feel (including JW's) are bad. I feel destructive behavior to be a bad idea, but as long as one isn't hurting themselves or other people, more power to them. I just feel funny about those that leave a religion soley to do things that are against the rules of the religion they left soley to break those rules.
And I feel ex-jw's are not just "regular" people. We all have gone through something that has changed us forever. They way we grew up affected us, positively or negatively (mostly negatively). Some of us need therapy to fix the mess.
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be wise
I see your point jwbot. Your kinda seeing it from different prospectives. You don't want all ex-jws to be tarred with the same brush - too right to.
When I was 'in it' I knew those that would have been frowned upon, a few of the ones that I knew that eventually got thrown out were complete assholes. So it makes people in the org not see things clearly but with byass. If they saw the true nature of why a lot of people leave maybe, well definately it would make them think twice.
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jwbot
Exactly, be wise.
I have known 3 girls in my congregation alone at had left because they wanted to marry "worldly" men. These men turned out to be abusive, and I might argue that had to do with the JW upbringing...taught to be submissive, etc.
And because of that, when I was dating a very nice, open-minded guy, my sister informed me that he would rape me and molest my children. The assumption was there (because of the mistakes of others) that it happens to all those that leave the religion. It all depends on why onewould leave the religion, what are they in persuit of? Are they trying to find themselves? Or just a way out of a restrictive environment, right into another restrictive environment. We are not exactly taught social skills about living in the real world, as kids....