Depressed beyond Words...

Shytears

Did u ever feel so depressed u felt the only thing that could get rid of the pain was to commit suicide????...well i tried that tonite,i know its not a good thing ,but i felt it was the only way out..well im still here so i didnt do it,thank god,my wrists have lil cuts everywhere tho,i just hope no one sees them..if u guys remember me yall know it has been an ongoing battle with my parents cause i dont wanna be a witness.. now i literally cannot do nothing! they dont trust me at all! i have no life....i mean how do i cope with all this...do i go against what all i feel and be a lil 2 faced person???well sorry i had to get this off my chest,,,, laura

ApagaLaLuz

Hey Laura. Good to see someone else up at this hour......

I'm going to find a thread really quick that I want you to read. Maybe it will help you realize that YES, most ALL of us have considered it at one time. Not just JWs either. MY JW cousin hanged himself over 3 years ago. Please hang in there.

BRB

I dont know your story. How old are you?

TheSilence

shy... if you need to talk ill wait in chat for a while. if ever you need someone to listen please email me directly at [email protected]. suicide is never the answer, there is always hope.

jackie

Shytears

im 16 ,gonna be 17 in may.....u probably can look in my past posts and get and idea,because it is a loooog story hehe or i might just re tell everything,later on

ApagaLaLuz

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/47192/1.ashx

I hope you will read this and realize you are not alone at all. You may notice my post on this thread is deleted. That is because immediately after I posted it I asked the Forum Administrator to delete. It's something that doesnt need to be made public, but I wouldnt mind sharing with you.

Depending on your age, if you're living with your parents, sometimes you HAVE to be "2 faced" in order to save your own sanity. But eventually you can find the strength to take your own independant stand.

Thank you for reaching out somewhere by posting. I wasnt so lucky with my cousin. He gave me NO clue, and now, in retrospect, I wish I would have looked harder for clues

ApagaLaLuz

Relax girl! I'm 23 I'm still a baby in life, and yet I remember so vividly some of the worst years of my life. I remember being so frustrated, with these feelings I couldnt explain. My mind would swim so much with so many thoughts I couldnt keep them straight. I would write all of these stories, most of the time on the back sof school work :)

It was an outlet. I can empathize with you. But I want you to know that I am a completey different person than I was when I was a JW teen, under my parents control. I am free now. I have a good relationship with my parents, and forgave them for things they may not have even wanted forgiveness. It takes time. But know that you will become STRONGER. And life can be SO BEAUTIFUL, even if it doesnt seem so right now.

Prisca

(((((((((shytears)))))))))

I'm glad that you're still with us.

I know what it's like to grow up as a JW, I didn't have much choice as a kid, although I didn't leave the Borg until I was 30 (I was kicked out of home when I was 18).

Are you still at school? Is there any chance of finding a place to move to once you have some money together? Do you have a job? If not, can you get one, so you can start saving for the future?

You don't have to answer those questions on the board. I'm just trying to help you see that there is a way out, if not now, but eventually.

You won't be under your parents' roof forever, and one day you will be able to live your life the way YOU want!

Dansk

Shy,

This REALLY gets me angry. The more I read of the pain such as you are suffering, the more I want to destroy the Watchtower if its the last thing I do.

I feel your pain, believe me. My brother committed suicide and it utterly destroyed my family. My mum was never the same again and tried to take her own life on a number of occasions. I walked in on her one day and found her trying to slit her wrists with a razor blade - and there were other awful incidents.

Everyone on this forum has been pained. I'm angry, REALLY ANGRY, about reading your post - because you don't deserve this garbage. PLEASE, keep in touch with those who have kindly offered to help. YOU are not the guilty one here. You are a lovely person with your whole life ahead of you. We want to help you live your life to the full.

Hang in there. Contact those who have left their e-mail addresses. I'm in England so too far away, but if you want to e-mail me I'm a good listener.

Love and (((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Ian (Dansk) who doesn't care less who reads this forum's postings and knows his name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF ANY JW IS READING THIS I HOPE YOU CAN SEE WHAT THE ORG DOES. (Swear word deleted so as not to offend the innocent).

Azalo

i think that you should try to do as well as you can in school so that when u graduate you can leave ur home and go off to college, even better if you could get a scholarship. have u tried telling your parents that you dont want to be a jw, sometimes the shock alone is enough to make them ease up for fear of pushing you further away.

cruzanheart

Dearest Shytears, I wish I was there in person to give you a big hug. Sweetie, please please PLEASE call your local Suicide Hotline IMMEDIATELY. Here in the Dallas area the number is (214) 828-1000. I know things feel hopeless right now. I know you want the pain to end. But please don't make a permanent end to your beautiful life. You are so very precious to us on this board, to God, to so many people, that we would have a big hole in our hearts if you go away.

You are a strong person. Do you know how I know that? Because you were strong enough to put down the knife and get on this forum and talk to us. That took guts and strength. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS. There is a long, beautiful life waiting for you, with good stuff and bad stuff. Please PM me with your phone number or I'll give you mine and we can talk. There are a lot of people who care about you and we can help you through this.

Love,

Nina

Depressed beyond Words...

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