Have I Drifted Too Far?

by sinboi 35 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  sinboi

  I was shocked, really shocked. What I am doing now is so acceptable to the friends around me.

  My friends are all doing it. It is so normal in the society,

  I posted my present life in reddit’s exjw site. I expected them to be pleased with how far I have drifted from that cult.

  I was shocked when I was scolded by them , my post was taken down and I was barred from the community. I was in fact disfellowshipped by exjw.

  When I was 13 and my dad refuses to let me join an uniform group, I have vowed to do the things they told me not to do. They could not give me a reason that I can agree on why I cannot do them.

  My parents wanted me to be home as soon as school ends. I complied. But I have several hours at school everyday and they are not around. I talk, joke and played with my classmates and they accepted me in their group. This was when I was 13 and thus I have no difficulty having friends and adapting to the world after I DA. But to please my parents, I acted as a good jw at home.

  After I DA at 15, my parents did not chase me out.I still pretend to be a good boy in front of them. 2 years after I DA, I have to join the army. I was no longer a jw for the past 2 years but I still feel very guilty joining the army. I asked myself: I have already been out for 2 yrs, but I have made little or no progress, how much longer must I wait to get rid of all these bullshit!

  Now I have completed my 2 years in the army. I am a completed change person. When exjw knew what I was doing, even they DF me. Have I gone too far??? My parents wanted me to be no part of this world. I purposely wanted to be part of this world. I wanted to be a worldly person. Is this wrong?
• 

  Diogenesister

  Are you saying exjw reddit barred you? For being a double lifer? Am I understanding you alright? Am I missing something?

  Reddit is super judgy and obsessively virtue signals....but that's insane even for them!!
• 

  sinboi

  They barred me for what I have posted. This I think is due to the many complaints on my post.
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  Sea Breeze

  I don't know what you posted on Reddit. But, joining the military is a time honored method of disagreeing with a family or origin. It is very respectable. Thank you for your service.
  
  Perhaps give yourself some time to find yourself and discover who you are. All of us here have family that are so hard headed that they have chosen to not be part of our lives. It's normal. You can deal with it. You can find a new tribe, and perhaps have a few relics of your old one too. But, maybe not. Life is precious. Don't waste it.

  You can do it. Just honor yourself and seek to honor others.
• 

  enoughisenough

  Who are you trying to please? in you are not a criminal, why beat yourself up? If something is bothering your moral compass, clean it up. It's within your power.
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  Diogenesister

  May I ask what you posted?? The problem was definitely not you being in the military, that's for sure. Lots of exjw do that.
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  Diogenesister

  Deleted....thought better of it😂😂
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  sinboi

  From what I see in the notification area (I could not see his whole comment as my post is removed), someone commented that I need to go to jail. If he is referring to the incident with the 14 yrs old ger, then I think it is my fault. I myself has the misconception that I have committed a crime when I wrote that post. I said I hv committed a crime but it shouldn't be a crime at all. But what I did was not a crime. I read only the last part of that law and did not read the first part.The crime is "having sex with a minor." I did have sex with that ger (a minor) and so I say I hv committed a crime. But in fact I have not. The full law states that ADULTS who have sex with a minor is a crime. But I was just 15 yrs 9 or 10 months old when that happen. I was not even 16 at that time. Both of us are minors.

  But if he has read my post properly, he should have known that that incident happen a few months after I DA at 15. He should have corrected me and told me that it is not a crime. It was only after I read his comment that I need to go to jail that I asked my friend about it. He told me it is only for adults who did it.
• 

  Phizzy

  " if he has read my post properly " that is a problem with a lot of idiots on-line, they half read something, and then get typing and vent their spleen over something you did NOT say, or do, it is their laziness to blame.

  Do not berate yourself for your fling with the young lady, these things happen at that age. You were a boy, not an Adult. O.K , at that age we still know it is very ill-advised to have sex, but in the heat of the moment, it happens.

  I advise you to thoroughly examine the teachings and practices of the J.W's, and then any guilt will leave you, they do not have, or teach, Truth.

  I did that, and successfully expunged my JW personality, and thoughts, and fears, and now I am 100% "worldly", it is as though that young man I was as a J.W was someone else !

  Which is true, as you found, when we are "in" to any degree, we cannot be who we really are.

  I am now the Real Me, and a Happy Humanist Atheist.

  All the very best for a bright, fulfilling future, free of any Evil J.W influence !
• 

  Jeffro

  I think he’s drifted from his timeline. Apparently he was 17 6 years ago, but now has only recently completed his 2 years in the army which was required at 18.