Ladies and Gents.... Domestic violence!

by Theonlyoneleft 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nonjwspouse

    just a side note, the verbal and physical abuse did not happen in my marriage until my husband began studies and "put on a new personality.

    Even though he has not been back to studies or the hall for years now, the "toothpaste has been squeezes out of the tube." He crossed the critical, previously forbidden line of verbal and physical abuse, so it is now something he continues ( of course blaming me for his behavior) ,

    BTW he is in the process of moving out at my insistence. No divorce talk yet, but separation

  • Diogenesister
    She needs to document everything, with dates and times, but put any writings etc, in a safe place away from the husband. Write a diary of events, of stresses, of impacts, of the shoving etc. Maybe she can give the diarys to you, to keep safe from her husband. She needs to keep receipts as much as she can of his spending on himself

    I agree with this but the problem is she won't do it if she thinks it's collecting data to use against him.

    So...Why not ask her to write a regular diary - and pour her heart out to it, don't hold back - as a good way of dealing with stress etc and helping her to be a better Christian

    BUT of course this has the real advantage of documenting his behaviour, albeit in a modified way,

    1.however should she need it in the future it's there, in writing

    2. It may help her to see how bad things really are ( and they are) when she reflects back on how her life is progressing via the diary.

    And yes, isn't it awful how the victim gets judged???

  • snugglebunny

    My JW ex-wife turned out to be astonishingly violent. However, on one of those occasions when I was spotted with yet another black eye I received a visit from the elders who really helped by telling me that I needed to keep my wife in subjection. Thanks fellas, way to go.

  • Theonlyoneleft


    thank you for sharing.

    I also too have been there and done that.... married at 16....but I refuse to let anyone do that to me ever or any of my daughters.

    my father too thought that this was the best course of controlling my mother, so she left him taking us all with her and started again... she was a clever and strong woman, I presume that’s why she never completed her studies with JWs....she didn’t wanted to be under another control force.... thank goodness for her I missed that spot in the KH and left too.

    I applaud your honesty in your comments and from the bottom of my heart I wish that life will find you in a better path. We are strong... it’s just needed to find that strength within us.

    Thank you for sharing 🙂

  • Theonlyoneleft


    no one should have to endure such treatments. I’m with you.

    And no man or woman should be submissive to each other. Should always be a partner in life instead of what the WT teaches.

    They teach us that everything is solvable under Jehovah God, so many just stay and trust that this is the best for them and their family.

    This train of thought makes so many a prisoner.

    If nothing else WT should have proper guidance on this matters... they send brothers to become lawyers, others to train and gain skills that they can use in Bethels.... why not also have a department that helps people with their mental health? After all.... they are MEANT to love and look after their flock.

    Thank you for sharing.

  • Vidiot
    theonlyoneleft - "...why not also have a department that helps people with their mental health?"

    Because said department would inevitably discover that their mental health problems were worsened - or even caused by - the Watchtower worldview, ideology, and subculture.


    Back in the 90s, there were actual hints that Org was quietly looking into reports of emotional health difficulties and depression amongst the R&F (particularly women)... until, all of a sudden, it stopped...

    ...and they made the blanket statement that "Jehovah's Witnesses are the happiest people on Earth (period)".

    And virtually nothing more was said.

    Ten bucks says that the evidence was mounting that - as I said above - it was being a Jehovah's Witness that was causing the problems...

    ...which would have obviously been completely unacceptable to the WT leadership.

    So - I suspect - they made the decision to double-down on what was already set in place, rather than reform... and accept any losses that would stem from it.

    (EDIT: not unlike their response to increasing reports of child abuse, I might add)

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