Ladies and Gents.... Domestic violence!

by Theonlyoneleft 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LoveUniHateExams

    The elders are of no real help in situations like this.

    They are unqualified people who put their sole hope in a book written by Bronze Age goat herders. Not good.

    Professional people need to be involved - counsellors, psychiatrists, maybe the police. You get my drift.

  • Theonlyoneleft

    Thank you nonjwspouse.

    Thank you xanthippe 😞

  • Simon

    They still represent a cross section of society so of course will experience all of the flaws that society does.

    I'd be surprised if they weren't at the lower end of the spectrum though as their form of christianity typically promotes respect for women and avoidance of violence plus they naturally exclude groups that tend to have higher rates of domestic abuse.

    Of course this doesn't mean there will never be any.

  • APieceOfShitNamedTate

    What I'm about to say is not backed up by any official statistics or scientific research or whatever, just my personal experiences. Oftentimes, it's the elders themselves who are responsible for the abuse within their own homes, whether that abuse is physical, mental, or emotional. Of course this does not apply to all elders, but for the ones it does apply to, they should not be in romantic relationships, and they should not become fathers. They are complete and utter morons, emboldened to be abusive not only by the standard nonsense that all JWs are subjected to, but also by all of the extracurricular indoctrination designed only for them.

    They are basically taught that anyone who is not an elder is beneath them, and they don't respect personal boundaries. They are taught that it's perfectly fine to sit in a small room with a woman, interrogating her about what kind of panties she had on when she fooled around, whether or not she shaved her groin, how many times she orgasmed, what positions were used, and if she enjoyed it. I once heard an elder on stage address all of the sisters in attendance, and he said that no matter what the elders ask, they should answer. He even went on to relate how some sisters actually have the nerve to get offended when certain questions are asked, and said that an uncooperative attitude should be avoided. Fuck him. I wanted to go up and use the edge of the stage to curb stomp his goddamn teeth out.

    If a brother has any tendencies toward toxic masculinity, then becoming an elder will likely bring out the worst of his personality. Of course there is nothing wrong with being masculine, but there are just certain aspects of it that must be kept in check. I try to remind myself of that every day. I would recommend that you encourage this person to do secular research on narcissism and abuse, to talk to a professional counselor, and last but not least, to leave the fucknut that they joined in unholy matrimony, and start living a real life.

  • Xanthippe
    I'd be surprised if they weren't at the lower end of the spectrum though as their form of christianity typically promotes respect for women

    The religion promotes respect for women in the same way as it promotes respect for children and hatred of child sexual abuse.

    They're hypocrites, they talk of respecting women but treat them as domestic workers, baby makers and second class citizens.

  • Vidiot
    blondie - "...'We must not make the Organization look bad in the eyes of the non-JW world'."

    At one point that may have been the main reason, but considering the underlying antipathy the Org displays toward them these days, I don't think they actually give a shit about looking bad in the eyes of the non-JW world.

    By now, it's more to keep the Org from looking bad in the eyes of the rank-and-file...

    ...'cause the worse the Society looks to a member, the more the underling conviction that the WTS is "God's Earthly Organization" is steadily eroded... and the moment an individual JW reaches the point where he or she realizes that it's not "God's Earthly Organization"...'s all over. No more ideological support, no more donations, no more activity, and - inevitably - no more membership...

    ...because other than familial connections, there's no more incentive to stay (no to mention that, ironically, by the Org's own stated internal standards, any sincere indivdual is morally obligated to reject a religion that makes that kind of false claim).

    And the leadership - whilst still being aware that that hemmorage is gonna happen - would still prefer to "manage" that decline in a manner that enables the Org to survive...

    ...assuming that's even possible if they, say, ultimately lose their tax-exemption for refusing to budge on the child abuse policies that are causing them so much trouble in the first place.

  • blondie

    Vidiot, that comment was about what the WTS tells it members when "suggesting" that they not go to the authorities regarding the abuse. I agree with your comment here:

    By now, it's more to keep the Org from looking bad in the eyes of the rank-and-file...

  • LongHairGal


    I had heard they ask perverted questions like this of women and girls in the JW religion. I would have walked out before I answered any questions like this...Either that, or I would have kicked somebody you-know-where...As far as the guy on the podium addressing all the sisters in the audience and telling them they are obligated to answer any question...all I can say is that this religion has fallen very far. Even back in the day when I was there they tended to be very nosy and overstepped their boundaries but this reaches a new level of nastiness and outrageousness. Too bad many of the gullible sisters will fall for this.


    It is unfortunately true that they have no respect or regard for women. But, these bastards won’t be seeing me there anymore. I’d never tolerate their shit.

  • jhine

    "I'd be surprised if they weren't at the lower end of the spectrum though as their form of christianity typically promotes respect for women"

    l don't agree with that . l have had conversations with male JWs , not just elders , and found them condescending because l am the " little woman " .

    JW women aren't allowed to do anything other than make tea and clean up .

    Anglicans have female vicars , one of the lay readers in my own church is female . l often do the readings and prayers in services as do other women . One of our church wardens is female . So for me the difference in attitude is obvious . They do not value women at all .

    l also don't think that we can take Peter's comment to mean that women had to put up with violence , and l don't know any Christian who would use that to persuade someone to stay in a violent relationship .


  • tiki

    The situation described is one of extreme control and emotional abuse. The victim needs to get professional help and get freed of the relationship. Until the abuser gets help and gets thinking and actions straightened out the relationship is psychologically dangerous...and could escalate to physical abuse as well. If and until that occurs the victim needs to separate from the toxicity. That may well be exceedingly difficult....the person needs a lot of help and support.

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