Tired of the truth... Tired of doubting

by Deltawave 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stuckinarut2

    Focus on the qualities that make you the person you are.... An honest and sincere person with a genuine desire to live a true life using your power of reason and logic.

    This will help you to life your head high in genuine sincerity and rise above the baggage that our witness background has left us with.

  • DesirousOfChange

    OnTheWayOut, Magnum, Searcher

    Three priceless posts! What fantastic advice.

    Get on with your life NOW. It took me years to finally face up and accept TTATT. I lived in denial for years, just believing the GB had some "mystical" hocus pocus guidance that I should blindly follow along. I finally had my WTF moment. It is all BULLSHIT.

    Don't walk. RUN!

    My exception to many of these stories is that my wife is at my side fading with me. When asked about why we are "missing the meetings", her comment is that she hasn't missed a one of them since the first one we skipped out on.


  • WingCommander
    Divorce, relocation, & freedom will bring peace of mind.
  • Truthexplorer
    Hi Deltawave, We all feel your pain, your frustration and anger knowing the real truth about the troof. I like yourself woke up proper about 2002/3 after reading crisis of conscience and coming across this site. I faded away for several years, but then returned determined to not be controlled the way I had been before. I have experience d through mild depression/ low mood all because of this American based religion ( no offence to Americans BTW as yearn to visit the US one day). The Australian Royal Commissions hearing into child abuse exposes that lofty self righteous arrogant attitude that The GB promote amongst the 'shepherds' of 'Gods true organisation' . That same arrogant, self righteous, proud way they displayed in the panorama video 'suffer the little children'. I still see the distraught face of that poor tearful girl explaining how she got ZERO support from her so called shepherds after she told them about her abuse. My wife knows I have apostate (actually ttatt) views, as I drip feed her information all the time about stuff in a gentle way. I have written letters to my wife and mother to explain why I will take a blood transfusion if in a life threatening situation. I also wrote explaining to them why I DO NOT want them to shun my child or myself in the hypothetical situation that I were to freely choose to leave explaining in detail why the shunning policy is inaccurate/wrong amongst JW's. I once saw a film where the rightful leader of country (which at the time was ruled by another powerful country) said...if they won't listen to the voices of the people and yet continue to impose their will over the people of that country, then we will simply ignore them! That's the view I now take with the society. They refuse to listen to the voices crying out to them to change, so I choose to ignore the parts I know or feel is wrong. I attend the KH today, but keep under the radar. In actual fact the hall I am in is a loving congregation and view them is sincere Christians though misled by a small group of men in New York. I no longer tell people at work I am a JW. I simply tell people I am a Christian and attend a local Christian Church. I now feel comfortable allying the above and keeping a low profile like thousands of others. There is plenty of advice on here and you can choose how to walk. The only advice I would give is to just be yourself and enjoy doing things with your family and friends. You can have your faith in the true sense to fill your spiritual need without the entire controlling dictates of the GB/ watchtower. I wish you all the best Delaware. TE
  • LisaRose

    I know that leaving might seem like an impossible dream, and to leave would be very difficult, but I think you need to bite the bullet and start living your life. You are in am impossible limbo. However difficult leaving is, you will get through it and your life will go on.

    If you are struggling with this I think you really should get some counseling. Life can be great, so why settle for what you have? The last few years as a JW I was only staying in for my mother. She had suffered when some of my siblings left, I didn't want to do that to her. When I finally got my courage up to tell her, I found out she didn't consider me a JW anyway since I wasn't regular in service. Some of what you fear may not even happen, or not be as bad as you think, but you won't know until you try.

    I also highly recommend meditation to help you clarify your thoughts and deal with anxiety and depression. Here is a post I just did on how to do it.


    There will be no Armageddon, this life is all you have, make the most of it. It's not selfish to live your life with integrity, according to your principles, and according to your beliefs. It's your life after all.

  • Vanderhoven7
    Did discovering the truth about the "truth" impact your faith in the religion alone....or did you abandon faith in God and the Bible as well?
  • eyeuse2badub

    Hi and welcome,

    Many, many of us here completely understand what you are going through at this time. We have been there and have survived. It’s pretty typical “cult withdrawal” symptoms you are experiencing. Not saying it’s easy nor painless but once you break free you can begin to live life, real life, not the fairy tale life we knew as dubs.

    Personally, I was a dub virtually all my life and I’m now 68. However, after decades of doubts, wrestling with my logical mind, and despite being an ‘elder”, I finally accepted TTATT in 2008 when the “generation” bs doctrine changed again and was just too much for a reasonable mind to accept.

    I had to check myself into a mental health facility that’s how bad things got for me. Today I’m truly enjoying my life by living in the real world. My only regret is that I didn’t listen to my logical mind when I was much younger. My challenge now is to bring my family to TTATT.

    Time truly does heal all wounds so hang in there and get help if it gets too bad!

    Just saying!


  • Giordano

    She thinks I doubt due to a mental illness. I am alone, I go in field service and become extremely depressed as I hear the critical opinions of Bro and sisters towards the people in our territory.

    Obviously your mind and body is telling you that going out in field service is toxic for you. You have nothing to tell people about the JW way so just stop participating and hanging out with the bro and sisters.

    To this day after being out for many decades attending a JW funeral makes my skin crawl. Smelling a fresh new Watchtower has the same effect LOL.

  • Vidiot

    I'd go out on a limb and suggest that you're not actually tired of the TATT or of doubting...

    ...you're tired of having to be a JW.

    And that's something a lot of us can relate to.

  • pbrow

    I am a firm believer that to keep on doing something that goes against your conscience, you are damaging your own mental health. We have all done it. You have no judgement from me. There are a million reasons why you should just suck it up for your wifes sake but you WILL damage yourself in the process. Be true to yourself and let the cards fall where they may.

    Good luck


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