No more reporting time for field service!!!
Well done Khaleesi! and keep determined.
Having been in a similar situation, I suggest you try not to get into a situation where you give your son's father the right to bring the boy up as a JW if at all possible. Two of my three children although adult are still JWs and the distance between us is very painful to me.
So at last I am in my next step of my fade, this month is the first month I did not turned in any hours. I received a text from our group leader an MS & i told him I didn't have any to report, then of course It got bumped up to the elder & I text him back I have no hours to report for December.
How about NOT replying at all? That's what I do whenever the elders text me to offer a "friendly" talk with me. Now they can't be bothered at all =)
20 years ago, and like DIVERGENT, it was empty😂😂.
The best way to handle it is:
Don't answer your phone. Screen your calls and texts.
Don't answer the door.
If you bump into anyone in public, tell them you are doing GREAT/never better. Make sure you smile. Remember, you are still the same wonderful person you were before you left (minus the cult). If they push it, just tell them you appreciate their concern and if you need them they can give you their # and you will call them. If they continue to push it and ask intrusive questions, just tell them you do not feel the need to discuss that with them. If your rude, like me, just tell em it's none of their business.
Look like you are ecstatic and it will drive them crazy. JW's are programmed to interfere in your life and when you look down and depressed it's "because you left Jehovah."
You owe these people NOTHING!
I like that idea Toesup. They expect you to hang your head in shame. Show them you have a great life but tell them nothing. Friends don't need an explanation, enemies don't deserve one.
When they come up to you and give you the standard "is everything ok"? "Anything we need to help you with"? Nonsense. Just smile and say nope! Everything is great!
Hey Khaleesi. I am glad to see you have the courage it takes to make the next move on your fade. However, I am puzzled by the steps in which you are making things. Perhaps that order is best for you and your congregation; as I am not living your situation, I cannot tell. However, usually, we stop attending the meetings for a few months and then, stop reporting time. Not the other way around. Doing so removes the stress of dealing with them at "the next meeting".
When I stopped reporting my time, I got phone calls and visits from a few JWs and elders. I was very pleasant and polite with everyone and reassured them that it was only temporary, even if I knew it was for good. Yeah, I know, I lied, but is that a bad thing when you are threatened? even if they do it out of "love and concern"?
Eventually, I told them nicely that I understood and appreciated their concerns and that I would call back on them when the time is right. Of course, that time never came.
At first, you may play the sick, depressed, "working too much" cards. These are things that they expect you to do or be. In short, you need to look as they would expect you to be, that is, miserable. If you don't, they could very well start a witch hunt on you and things could get much more complicated.
After a year or more, you will then be "allowed" to be yourself when you encounter JWs in your day to day life. I assure you, that moment will be one of the best in your life. It is than that JWs will know that you are actually happy and doing well, even better! And you won't need to worry about the elders, they won't follow up as you'll have been gone for too long.
Also, if in the meantime, some JWs keep coming to your house unannounced, you can be firm and yet polite: "Sorry, I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but unannounced visits like this make ME feel uncomfortable. Here is an idea: Let me give you my email address so that next time you feel the urge to stop by, you will be able to send me an email instead."
Even in the justice system you have Miranda rights. You have the right to remain silent. The Elders tell you a Judicial committee is not a legal hearing, therefore you can not have your Attorney present. So I have the right to remain silent in the justice system but not during a Judicial Committee or just a visit from the local Elders? I DON'T THINK SO!
We have had a couple of people (elders) stop by our home. We DON'T answer! They didn't call and were rude showing up unannounced. I don't fell rude not answering.
NO ONE knows how my spouse and I really feel. We talk to each other and keep our dealings with others up beat. "We are doing great. Never better!" We are hoping that we get DF'd so when our family asks why we can tell them. We don't know why. We have heard of cases where people get DF'd and they hear it through the grapevine. Anyone else experience this?
Congrats! My motivation was also not to add to their data collecting. We have not turned in time for three months now. No calls, no nothing. So, after we received group texts regarding the RC and the hotel website, we blocked all the phone numbers of every JW in the area we know.
Congrats Khaleesi. Tailor your fade to suit your own needs. Life can only get better now.