Corporal punishment

by Incognigo Montoya 48 Replies latest social family

  • pale.emperor

    I used to agree with spanking. My dad was old school and would hit us full force with a slap across the face. On at least one occasion I was picked up and thrown at a wall. I used to think this was good parenting, that it's "just what kids need these days". But I've since changed my position. Looking back I behaved myself because I was scared of getting a beating - not because I thought what I was doing was wrong. Also, it looking back my dad was unapproachable. I'd fear owning up to something simply because I knew I'd like get the shit kicked out of me.

  • Diogenesister
    Cofty Children respond to consistency. Always say what you mean and mean what you say and say it with conviction.

    This a million times over. Never ever back down when you tell a child the next time they misbehave there will be X consequences.

    The examples you gave were strange OP.

    No. 1 the socket would be presumably a very young child. Spanking such a baby is awful and actually dangerous. Grab the child suddenly and shout “NO”....that will shock them and ensure they fear to do it again.

    No 2 Acting up or acting out is part of being a child. You have to give kids some wiggle room as long as they are not hurting anyone.

    No. 3 If a child is old enough to shoplift spanking should be way off the menu by then. Talk talk talk to your child and explain why it’s wrong to steal, don’t just punish. Ask them what would happen if everybody took what they wanted. Reason with them. Also showing you trust and respect them will win them over far more than fear ever will. If shoplifting becomes an issue I would suggest the kid needs psychological intervention.

  • joey jojo
    joey jojo

    Im not a parent but I was raised in the twilight period of spanking in the western world, the 70's and 80's.

    I last got caned across the hands in 1986 at school in Australia.

    It must be a little difficult for anyone that was spanked or belted by their parents to adjust now to non-physical discipline.

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    I raised my kids with an aversion to corporal punishment. What I learned is that every child is different, a meaningful look may be effective in one case but leave her sibling unmoved. The punishment must meet the needs of the individual but physical brutality is never the answer.

    I once hit out at my son in frustration and anger and to this day feel shame and guilt at this loss of control. So, I understand the impulse that drives this form of punishment but I can't condone it and I don't think it is in any way useful.

  • smiddy3

    Maybe I`m old school ,I got spanked a few times when i was young not beaten but spanked and it never did me any harm and I certainly loved my parents and never had any ill feelings toward them for the spanking i deserved .

    I have also been frustrated seeing young parents in supermarkets when young children are going through tantrums and the parent is trying to reason with them that what they are doing is wrong and its not getting through to the kid and I feel like saying to them just give him a kick up the arse ( meaning a spanking or two ) and that will fix them.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Hi IM.

    I agree with some of your points but I also agree with some of Cofty's points.

    Generally speaking, I tend to agree with Cofty - there are usually other, better ways of disciplining kids most of the time.

    If a kid was about to do something dangerous, then I tend to agree with you - a good wack is understandable under the circumstances.

    I know, I've been on the receiving end of this. When I was a young kid aged about 3 or 4, I went to walk into a busy road and my mum yanked me back on the pavement (sidewalk) and gave a good smack.

    I turned out reasonably ok.

  • Darkknight757

    My mom used a riding crop. My dad just had to show me his hand. I swear it was the size of a fry pan. 😱

    Honestly I couldn’t see spanking my kid. We do tap her hand when she throws food but usually that’s only when we have told her repeatedly not to throw. We don’t go for pain though, just a tap and a “no no”.

    Shes our first so we are still learning.

  • St George of England
    St George of England

    GB member Geoffrey Jackson said at the ARC that JW's do not believe in corporal punishment.

    Seeing kids dragged out of meetings and hearing them being whacked must have been just a dream I have had!


  • jwfacts
    adult mistakes carry far greater consequences than a spanking, which is why I believe spanking to be a good disciplinary tool, when implemented properly. Adults are fired from jobs, divorced, thrown in prison, seriously beaten, stabbed, shot, and killed, when they lack self control and respect for others.

    Disagree. A child's mistakes can have just as great consequences, such as leading to the loss of their own life and that of others. Spanking is not the way to teach children in such situations, any more than hitting an adult as a way of training is acceptable. Educating a child should always be the first step. For defiance, then there are similar punishments as those acceptable for adults, which can be doing chores, taking money/items or grounding.

    Physical violence against children is usually a lazy, easy response. Studies show the long term consequences are adults that are more likely to fall back on domestic violence as an automatic response.

  • Incognigo Montoya
    Incognigo Montoya

    Having slept on this, and then waking up to new comments, I guess I must clarify a few things. First, my examples were just that. You can substitute an electrical outlet for anything that's going to be painful and potentially cause great bodily harm/injury; touching a hot surface, running out into the street, being mean or aggressive towards a pet. Nature and life can often be unforgiving, and when you go too far, it can be painful. Pain often teaches us not to do something. Imo I would rather my child recieve a short quick (ultimately harmless) pain from me, someone who loves him, than the more painful and lasting effects of a dog bite, a burn, an electric shock, or getting hit by a car...

    I agree with you cofty. Consistency in discipline is a must. Children push boundaries naturally and giving in to that isn't conducive to raising a well behaved child, or future adult. Problem is, all children are different, what works for one child will not always work for another. Some kids are stubborn and even defiant, at times.

    My final thought here is for quite a few of you commenting, you keep referring to beating and hitting. A spanking is not beating or hitting. It is an open hand series of smacks on their bottom or hands, generally 3 or less. Force used appropriate to age and size of child. I am curious, those of you who are in disagreement with spanking; were you spanked as a child, or were you hit, beaten, kicked, punched, or otherwise abused? Do you have children of your own? More than one child? More than two?

    I have 3. Each one different. I am not a perfect parent, but I tried to keep rules simple and just. I learned that what worked with my first child didn't work with the second. The first was easy. The second was much more difficult. At times defiant. The third, easier than the first two. I also learned that what seemed like a big deal with the first two, usually wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it to be, and that was reflected in the way I disciplined my last one. Letting things go that I didn't with the first one or two. That's on me, and my imperfect personality traits. But you learn and you move forward. They are young adults now, good, well adjusted, productive people. So I'm sticking by my original statement; most discipline can be handled without spanking, but there are times when it is warranted and needed.

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