Just curious - is apostasy grounds for divorce?
Same ordeal i was put through, except my husband did cheat and only got publicly reproved and not disfellowshipped. I got my "scriptural grounds" but its still a Crooked system.
Yes, apostasy is SCRIPTURAL grounds for divorce but only if the spouse also committed porneia.
This makes as much sense as saying that driving a car is illegal but only after committing a bank robbery.
Very courageous of you to go through all of that
I am in a similar situation but am 37.
I was disfellowshipped for apostasy. Even before that, my wife (a fanatic JW) separated. After more than a year I filed for divorce and we were divorced.
Elders can only give advice not to divorce, if there is no scriptural grounds for it. They don't hinder a couple; they just tell them that they are not free to marry again.
Only if you tell the elders that you had sex with someone else, your ex is free to marry again.
If not he would be disfellowshipped and go through the reinstatement process if he started to date.
I wish you all the best.
I hope you will be able to move on and let him have his silly cult. Let him worry about what the elders think.
Frankly, I'm surprised the GB never tried this.
Sure, they insist that adultery is the only valid "scriptural" grounds for divorce...
...but it wouldn't be much of a stretch to spin "apostasy" as a form of "spiritual adultery"...
I agree along the lines of listener. If you don't care about this religion. I don't know if you're disfellowshipped/ disassociated or not. Sounds like it. And you don't care about keeping ties, then what do you care what they think?
If you're around 70..., Is your husband the same age? Does he even WANT to remarry in his 70's either?
I mean, like listener says, you don't actually have to have sex. You can just make it look that way. Can you just say you did? Or do you want to spare his feelings? Would he be apt to "go along with it"? So that he knows you weren't really with another man. But you're willing to take all the blame to release him?
Or is he going by the Watchtower's rules too and would feel that if it's not real and he does remarry, he's committing adultery in God's eyes?
He could do like my mother did: Tell the elders you confessed to him that you cheated on him. They will accept that.
Apostasy is not grounds for divorce, but many times people will lie and say their spouse confessed to adultery when they did not. Especially if it is a man they can and do get away with it. I know of a case where a man claimed his invalid wife confessed to an affair many years previously. He got divorced and married his wife's much younger caretaker. There was a lot of gossip, but he was a powerful elder so he got away with it.
I say get on with your life and let him do what he wants. Don't lie or say you did anything you didn't, but if he wants to claim you cheated, don't go out of your way to contradict him, it's not worth the bother.