I'm not sure I really understand why folks feel the need to make sure their ex can remarry. Can anybody explain this to me?
Just curious - is apostasy grounds for divorce?
by LifesNotOver 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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lookout
LifesNotOver Apostasy isn't grounds for divorce, as you said. And more specifically, porneia is grounds, not just what most people consider adultery. Even if you were making out with a guy and started jerking him off, that would count...or if you were making out with a woman and stuck your hand down her pants and started massaging her clitoris ... both of those would be considered porneia.
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StarryNight9
I'm not sure I really understand why folks feel the need to make sure their ex can remarry. Can anybody explain this to me?
Some divorces are fairly amicable. It's a nicety to make sure your previous partner can move onto another relationship without unfair punishments being levied by the cult. I don't believe it's very common, but it's a possibility.
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prologos
Grr T: "I'm not sure I really understand why folks feel the need to make sure their ex can remarry
or, some want to make sure their ex can not remarry.
only the innocent party can automatically remarry, according to wt. If the adulterer[ss] wants to stay a witness, they must obtain permission from the wronged ex to remarry. so:who wants to stay a witness and burn? but I have seen it, a handsome man waiting years for permission from his ex wife.
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Fisherman
Yes, apostasy is SCRIPTURAL grounds for divorce but only if the spouse also committed porneia.
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Nevuela
It seems like I've read a number of stories (maybe on this site, maybe on others - I don't know because I jump back and forth between numerous ex-JW sites) where a brother with an apostate wife is allowed to scripturally divorce her and remarry. Because they're an old boys' club, they don't hesitate to leave the door wide open for their fellow men to exit a less-than-ideal marriage, but God forbid if a woman's very life depends on escaping an abusive husband. :/
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stuckinarut2
I know of a case where a sister and her husband (not a witness) got divorced. However, they were still friends due to their child. Neither of them remarried
Once when he was between houses, she offered for him to stay in her home with their child for a few weeks.
She was brought before a Judicial committee for "having a male to whom she was not married" stay in the house with her!
Seriously!
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freddo
I was on a committee where the wife came forward and admitted adultery and told us she needed to be disfellowshipped! It was surreal - we were saying no, no, think about your relationship with Jehovah (I know, I know ...) but she insisted she was not repentant as she couldn't stand being with her insensitive bullying husband. I even suggested I had never heard of her having a "male friend" - or her adult children who were witnesses had never seen one with her either. But she insisted it was true.
So we DF'd her and he got his "scriptural" divorce.
I always liked her (no, not in that way) and volunteered to do those occasional follow up visits every year or so and about three years later (ex hubby had remarried) I visited her with another brother and asked her about whether she wanted to "work towards reinstatement".
She said "Freddo, I don't suppose it matters now that (her ex) has remarried but I never committed adultery, I just wanted to be free of him and to be honest I'm glad I'm not a Witness anymore!"
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freddo
Oh and another one ...
Wife gets a legal but not scriptural divorce. Years go by and the brother wants to move on.
He goes and sees a prostitute and confesses to a handjob and gets a reproof.
Only because she has already obtained the legal divorce she had already rejected him so now they are both free. Good eh?
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Half banana
LNO, if you are no longer a JW (don't condemn yourself as an apostate which is their disparaging word) and you have left your husband who is a believer, why not just kiss the whole nonsense goodbye and let them stew in their own juice? Since when did JWs go out of their way to put the feelings for others before their dogma?