by reallylost 22 Replies latest social relationships
Bro, her aim may be to convert you slowly, while all the time trying to convert you subtly. Now, her intentions may be good, and she may be a sweet girl, but time and a sectarian religion with cult tendencies can do a lot to individuals and marriages. Get out while you're ahead, count your losses, (which are very few), and find a nice, stable girl who isn't linked to a psychotic religion. Trust me, you'll thank your lucky stars ten years from now when you have kids...they'll thank you, too.
ash
(okay, okay, so I think I'm breaking like....oh....3 or 4 of the posting guidelines....but, it's FUNNY - and appropriate!)
Hi ReallyLost. Interesting.
Well, your emotions are incredibly strong right now. I can see that you are trying rationalize the potential of this relationship. That's human, and we've done it to some degree in our lives.
I was once engaged to a JW woman. Uh-huh, and trust me the person can promise you the moon and the stars (promise but not deliver).
The thing with any JW partner with an unbeliever, you will be sooner or later exposed to a whole lot of REALITY in regards to what associated members of her family believe. There'll be some genuine attempts to conform you. Believe me.
If you cave in to one belief to saciate her, then it'll be another. It never ends at just ONE. Right now your heart and mind is heavy with her.
The decision you make could be the best for both of you, or otherwise. I think many of the suggestions offered on here, are all constructive and well-meaning.
My mother said something to my brothers and I: 'there are over 5 or 6 billion people on this planet, and you'll never live long enough to meet everyone, don't just settle on the first one you meet...you have choices'
I think that that is sound advice.
Keep your wits about you, and your emotions in check. I hope you make the best and most wise decision.
Thanks for the advice, everyone.
It gave a little insight to my delemma. I am going to bet that her faith is week, and that she didn't get a fair chance at 'choosing a religion when she was of that age' or whatever it is the JW's call the indoctrination of kids...but she's just so awesome. I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don't try.
Hey, I like this site. Thanks agian... :)
I'm sorry for your pain. Now that you have calmed down a bit you need to know a couple of things. Perhaps its because you are younger still and maybe havent had the life experience to tell you certain things. For one thing and hopefully you wont take this the wrong way but..WAKE UP no one is perfect. If you havent learned anything from life learn that. Secondly, you cant love some one based on their physical beauty. You didnt mention anything about HER but you seem to thing because she 'looks' perfect that she is the most perfect girl for you.
Falling head over heels in love with someone you dont know is ALWAYS a bad idea and it sets you up for disappointments like this. As you get a little more mature you will learn how to protect your heart while still enjoying relationships with people. You cant blame god for not telling you ahead of time that you were being immature. This is a lesson that ALL of us learn in life by having our hearts broken or ripped out. You have learned in a pretty good way considering that its been a short time and you didnt really know the girl in the first place. Hopefully you wont have to learn in a more painful way. The worst you can do right now is to convert to a jw just for the girl (hey, its happened!). And btw HELL YEA jw girls go after guys all the time so they can get married. That the only way they can have 'guilt-free' sex. She may have slept with you but that means she is living a double life and will probably eventually be so guilt ridden she will drop you.
If you truly feel there could be a chance of her leaving the religion then you have nothing to lose by trying to get her out. It all very complicated and all depends on her. But be advised theres a good possibility she will not want to talk to you again if you ever mention anything against the jw's. If she leaves without knowing or believing the truth about her religion (ie. its not really everything she has known it to be) then even if she leaves it all and decides to be with you it will haunt her forever and she will never be happy nor will you. I recently posted a post about my brother who left the cult 9 years ago and lives with his girlfriend who was never a witness. He has been a miserable person for years and she finally decided as much as she loves him she has to leave because she andher daughter will never be happy with him. He finally admitted to himself and to her that his past in the religion has tormented him all these years. I would hate to see you and this girl end up in the same situation down the line.
Take care and all the best to you,
flower
ps. god doesnt grant favors or answer prayers. just because we were lied to and told he does doesnt make it his fault when he doesnt. just another little something i've learned over the years. rather than be angry it may be time to reevaluate your beliefs about what god is and is not.
Any chance of a jpeg?!
ISP
Technically, she shouldn't be dating you, a non-JW. If she is that sure of her faith and she is that committed to it, she should not have even ventured into a relationship with you.
Heed the advice you have been given so far, many of us know of what we speak. You will either end up compromising your own beliefs which will lead to stress in you relationship down the road. Or you will try to "win" her to your own beliefs which will be an uphill battle and most likely, never happen. Both scenarios will wreak havoc on your relationship and any children you might end up having. There's the bigger picture to consider! Relationships are hard enough to maintain once you get past the "in love" stage.
Nikita
If you're partial to albino chicks who travel in a freak show might I suggest you hook up with some apostate womenz? They are a hell of a lot more fun than the JW womenz who only want to wear cardigans and fuzzy bunny slippers.
Meanwhile we apostate biatches only wear purple pasties! And carry with them a full supply of Stamina RX. WOOO!
Take some time to mull it over. I know it's a lot to process.
But my grandma always used to say, "Ain't no lovin like aposto albino lovins!"
Those damn hormones are bitch when they are set off by the wrong person. I know the pain. I've ridden them up and down a few times. The effort of trying to get her out may be futile. Jwism is like a cancer; hard to cure. If you want to break the spell, maybe an evening at a classy strip joint would help
SS
RUN>>>>>>>>>>>>>
