I cried like a baby today...

reallylost

Yeah...26 years old, 210lbs, strong, smart, thought I had it all figured out...and crying like a baby...OMG...I'm falling apart at the seams....

OK, here's why: I met the girl of my dreams. Absolutely gorgeous, smart, witty, no kids (not that I don't like kids, it's just that I won't be a "Just-Add-Dad" again), succesfull...anyway, we met through my cousin at a bar (he's thinking about buying it and invited some people to go with him for like a second opinion, and his wife invited this girl). When she walked in, her eyes stopped me dead in my tracks. I couldn't believe that there were a set of eyeballs on the face of the Earth with such a magnificent blue briliance....a smile crafted in human flesh by God's own hand....a touch that sends me flying through Ga-Ga Land. She has a look that makes the entire Universe simply disapear. I've never known such beauty....no one has ever been able to put me at ease like she can--not even close!!

I was wondering where the catch was...I mean, we're talking about me here! I never get the good ones! I knew that the catch was going to be more painful than a Lousville Slugger accross the shins (which, given what I know now, I'd take the bat and do it myself). She's a JW....and I'm Catholic...She made it very clear that she's not changing. I don't want to either, but I refuse to let her slip away.

I was able to keep it together untill I had to go to work (3rd shift)...and I just fell to millions of peices in the car. 100-110 mph in the rain crying like a sissy is scary. I didn't cry this much when my favorite Uncle died. I'm crying now...the pain runs so deep...

This probably would not have been a big deal to me about 3 years ago. But me and my damned hungry brains, I had to start reading on other religions. You can guess what I've read, I'm sure.

I actually got on my knees and prayed to God that she NOT be a JW or Mormon...that's all....just that. That's all I ever asked from Him about her. Well, I feel utterly let down and betrayed by the God that's supposed to love His children. This isn't love, it's a cosmic friggin joke is what it is....

She is the embodyment of perfection...EVERYTHING I ever ...EVER dreamed a woman could be...and now this. What am I to do?

Fastforward to the future--say in 2 years: Can I marry her without having to convert? Can I just renounce Catholocism? I can't bear the thought of telling her I can't continue the relationship. I've never felt so, so, so....umm....in love with a girl before...I'm willing to do it if I absolutley have to. I just don't want to give up things like Christmas lights, candy canes, Thanksgiving Turkey, Grandma's stuffing in the turkey, Easter Egg hunts, owning a car, having freinds, having a cold one with my neighbor while we talk about stupid stuff, and all the other things that make 'life' what it seems to be (or at least what I thought it was utnil this, the ultimate cosmic joke), etc..and on the other hand, I've known a few JW's and I actually admire their moral stature. No cursing, family is of utmost importance, etc...it's a nice change. Seems like a respectable life.

Bla, bla, bla...boy meets girl, etc. Let me tell you this: We were sitting on a bench by a pond with ducks all around us at twilight. It was perfect, absolutley beautiful. We were sitting close, arms wrapped, with our heads kinda resting on each other. I looked at her, and thought for the first time in my life that I could see myself waking up next to her every morning for the rest of my life. I've had very serious relationships before...even concidering marriage. But with her, these thoughts pop into my head without any initiative thought.

But now this. I'm literally broken. I feel like she's already been taken away from me. I've always been able to wrap my mind around heavy issues, but this is really crushing me. I know not if I can actually do it. I am really mad a God for this. Only He can pull a stunt like this. I don't think Satan is smart enough for a grand scheme like this.

So what are my options? I don't want to be preached to, I just want to know what my options are.

I'm going to go for a nice long bike ride, come home and cry myself to sleep. Thanks for the info, if any.

Realist

god damn it! that was me 2 years ago! just that she had brown eyes in my case!

the problem is...me just converting was not enough for her (which i would have done of course)...for a JW you have to actually believe the crap and go preach etc. etc. and no sane person can do that

you have to make sure it is ok that she dates you (in my case that alone was a huge problem) and that you would not have to actually believe in the WT in order to make her happy.

best wishes!!!!!!

Realist

reallylost

Realist,

Thanks for the reply. Ok to date?! Ha! I would say so! (that means you figure it out from there)

Ok, that was off color, sorry. Anyway, during my ride this morning, I had a scary thought: What if she's just trying to land a husband? That would really hurt. As if I'm not in enough pain already--I figured out the source of the pain. Merely the uncertainty of the situation. I know it sounds whacky, but she's what I've litterally had actual, real, REM stage sleeping dreams about--the kind that make you smile the rest of the day, and sad the next day because you didn't have the dream again...ya know?

I don't know squat about the lifestyle or the sociopathic behavior of JW's. Is this something that one may try to pull? Let me tell ya, she didn't have to try very hard, believe me. Shame on me, I shouldn't have fallen for her so hard, so fast.

So what happend with the girl with the brown eyes?

Realist

hmmm so you are more than just dating in the park huh? ;-)

it seems she is by far not as much into this religion than my brown eyed girl!....so i guess there is hope! maybe she can accept it if you don'T become a JW? have you asked her? i mean christmas is nice and stuffed turkey too but one can live without it if necessary ;-)

i liked some aspects too...like decency and family values etc.

but the question is ... does she preach? does she go from door to door? does she want you to do that with her ? and does she want you to go with her to the meetings (have you been to one? it is awful!) and does she want you to actually believe in the WT (otherwise you will get burned to ashes in a few years in armageddon!).

give up on christmas is one thing...give up your entire life and personality for her is something different.

PS: after 1.5 years of ups and downs and many cries the brown eyed girl is happy (at least i hope so) with a JW brother now :)

Stan Conroy

Sounds like a major case of infatuation to me. She may be physically beautiful on the outside, but if she is a true hard-core JW, she is ugly on the inside. My advice: move on.

Stan

DanTheMan

She is the embodyment of perfection...EVERYTHING I ever ...EVER dreamed a woman could be

I don't know that anybody is all that!

I fear for you, because many men in your situation end up converting & becoming die-hard true-believing JW's. It seems that romantic attraction has a way of dulling rational thought.

Investigate, investigate, investigate this religion before you even consider getting involved.

Realist

dantheman,

i have noticed that too...the few man that are in this religion got usually sucked in by their wifes.

amen

I understand the situation you are in. A few weeks ago I had the choice to go out with a JW girl or someone outside the organization and at the same I want to be out of it. What shall i do? Well i prayed about it and i realize that i can not spend a year or 2 in this organization before I leave, it is unbereable to say the least spending time at the meetings. So i thought meeting this worldly girl was an answer to my prayer. She is the person i had been waiting for, we have so much in common although a catholic, she is a very spiritual person.

Well if you don't want to get involve with the religion, ask her if it does matter to her that you don't become a JW. If you ever decide to go along with her you have to respect her belief but the consequences could be very high and in the long run and you might regret it. However love has it's own reasonning.

As i for me I will not marry a JW I found it's not worth it.

Good luck

reallylost

Amen, wanna trade? lol just kidding!

thanks for the help. I guess I'll just have to sit down and really talk with her about this.

We just got our dinner serverd when she told me, and we both lost our appitites for about 20 minutes. Strange? I have 8 days left to figure this out. I really hope we can coexist as heathans to each other. I hope we can make it work. I really do.

I gotta go take a fist-full of Benadryl now, I'll never get to sleep at this rate.

thnks for the help everyone. I know the JW theology....BRAINSTORM!!!!!!!!!

ok, ok, check this out!!! She said something about us being able to stay as we are, and that's fine. Wheather we ACTUALLY can (as far as the organization is concerned) is what's got me freaked out. But she said she didn't believe in cramming a religion down a child's throat. IE> Catholic Baptism at birth... and that a child, when old enough should be able to decide for himself. Here's the kicker: I know the Catholic faith inside and out. I know theological details that would blow your mind>>>I'm going to ask her how fair of a chance SHE had when it was time for her to decide when she was at the age to decide. She'll prolly say that she did, and then I'll throw some details her way about some of the things the JW's rail the Catholics about ( I know a few good ones that make the elders leave your house because the CAN'T refute them, they KNOW you're right...)

What do ya think?

Realist

reallylost,

hmmm try it.

but in the long run religious discussions will probably ruin your relationship (unless her faith is pretty shaky already). believe me ...i have been there!

I cried like a baby today...

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