I don't see how I will ever date as a witness

by nowawake14 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • moreconfusedthanever

    Haha reminds me of when I first started seeing my husband. We were not in the same congregation but I knew pretty much everyone in his congregation. One Sunday I went to his meeting and the tongues started waging. After the meeting a single sister, obviously annoyed that I had snared this eligible ministerial servant, approached me and asked "how did that happen?" "How do you know him?"

  • just fine
    just fine

    I had my fair share of crazies, the ones that thought because you said hi when they said hi, you were interested in getting married. On more than one occasion I was greeted with “hi, are you married?”.

    I did date some guys in the religion. One told my father I was “too headstrong”. I had two relationships that were a lot of fun. One - his family was crazy, his dad was an elder and I would stay at their house over night (gasp). We just didn’t go to the meeting when I came to visit. Never had chaperones.

    The second, got out long before I did. In fact that’s why we broke up. We had a lot of fun skiing, going to movies, hanging out. His mother would rent us movies to watch in his bedroom (hah!). We did go to the hall when I visited him and would just tell everyone I was staying at his brother and sister in laws house, so nobody would bitch.

    The best advice I got from my elder father was to not bring anyone I was dating to our hall, and try to avoid the guys hall when possible. What people don’t know they can’t talk about. I got away with a lot that way.

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Let me share another one weirdo incident. This sister was at bethel. (I dont know why most of my stories are about sis's),.She was back for a weekend at our cong. Was all excited that she has been approached by a bro who has an interest in her. All normal was one wanting to marry.Her parents were happy for her coz like minds/careers etc. Next thing you know she is back in 3 weeks,this time it seems for good. What Happened?? As they were getting to know each other,this bro gave a nice expensive gift(jewelery/outfit). At this point they are only getting better aquainted nothing more. She did not know how to react...accept /refuse coz she was not comfortable taking such gifts as yet so to speak. So she gives it back saying not ready for it n stuff. Fair enough right! Wrong...Viola next day bethel top dog asks her to come by his office. She has no clue ..he sits her down n igves her a mouthful about how unsubjection she was,she should be listening to him n support him...Now that she is engaged she needs to step up to the plate (no pun intended) such bad conduct will not be tolerated in bethel, she may well have to leave if not sorted out. ..

    She left the room in tears coz she really did not know what was going on, how she ended up engaged where in fact there was no such thing! . She approaches an elder who she is a little better aquainted with n tells him the whole beginning to end story with this bro. Kudos to him he says leave the matter with him, he will see to it.

    Bless him he went around enquiring , asking , all his so called friends, bros in bethel, his family and lastly the bro himself. The truth comes out that when the sister was getting to know him better, he got wind of other bros who were also wanting to reach out to her with the smae motive.He thougt he would give his relationship another rung by giving gifts. He wanted to remain one step ahead and win so to speak. When she refused his gifts, he thought she was going to refuse him / break up with him, so he went behind her back n spread a rumor that they both are engaged n joined this bethel top-dog in his rumour so she could not back away (bear in mind she never was unknowing of all this drama).

    Ultimately the elder she had approached got it all sorted clearly with the top-dog n all included.The bro was discilplined but this sistr left bethel for good. She could not take the needless stress, n today she is pomo (for different reasons).

    Yeah this is the drama in some Jdubs life. As Blondie says desperados.

    By the way I have a few bro stories too. Boy makes my skin crawl.


  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Get this agape love moving mountains. An elderly sister approaches her good friend who has a marriagable age daughter(what the fuck is marriageable age anyway...sorry dont know how to put it). She says she was approached by a bro who is the only one in the truth in his family. So get your daughter married to him coz perhaps she might be able to thru word/ deed bring the parents into the truth ! WTF!! Have you heard anything like this before. A fine foundation for marriage I suppose. What if the parents did not come into the truth after all? can she divorce him? So she has to sacrifice everything for a Big PERHAPS ! I really dont know what sort of a world some of them live in.

    Please somebody call me a therapist, I feel the need for one now.


  • Diogenesister
    On more than one occasion I was greeted with “hi, are you married?”.


    cant make up my mind whether that’s really forward or really backward!

  • blondie

    Diogenesister, I vote for this is a case when being forward is going backward. I hated the meat market at assemblies/conventions, single women and single men roving the halls between the program checking out the candidates. I knew of married people who would do the searching for their friends.

    I just told brothers, that I did not want to put myself in a situation where a man thought he could tell me what to do, especially a jw.

  • Vidiot
    Biahi - "...won’t be long till they start arranging marriages..."

    I guaran-fucking-tee you that there are increasingly desperate loyalist JW parents thinking more and more along those lines.

    Know how I know?

    'Cause I knew a few back in the day.

  • Vidiot
    Tameria - "...Every time I was there I would get these death glares from them."

    After a (very) painful experience, I kinda had a soft policy of not pursuing eligible women in my home congregation...

    ...in fact, my wife ended up being from an entirely different town (it's 20 years on, we're both out, and still together, I might add).


    Unlike your experience, though, no one was mean to her (I guess none of the local girls wanted me ... in fact, many people expressed mild surprise at how attractive she was. )

Share this