Do You Still Feel Obliged To Answer To The Elders?

by minimus 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • gitasatsangha

    I would talk to elders if they came by, but I don't think we have that much in common to talk about. I will typically talk to anyone who comes to my door.

  • Mulan
    I don't feel an obligation to talk with the elders, but will happily do so as long as I control the agenda.


    I like to mess with their minds, but hubby gets embarrassed when I do that, so if we have advance notice he usually tells me to keep quiet. I do to a certain extent, but I respect Dave so try to abide by his wishes. He is so honest and honorable, that he feels terribly guilty if he has deceived them..........I don't!!!!!!

    There have been times that I couldn't resist telling them how they really screwed up. I love to see their faces when they think they might have "saved" me if they hadn't been such buffoons. They hang their heads................and no comment. It's a great moment.

    Am I mean?

  • duckie

    I have never had a visit from an elder or anyone in the congo, and if an elder should happen to show up I would feel no obligation to answer their questions. I have no fear of them and they have no power over me. The freedom I enjoy since being out of the Borg is amazing and my healing has advanced to the stage where I do not fell angry or spitful towards any of them, and now veiw them as sad controlled souls.


  • Francois

    I never felt obligated to perform on demand to the elders when I was a JW, much less now. Usually when they came to see me unannounced, I adopted the "best defense is a good offense" technique. Elders did not like calling on me. This became even more the case when it was learned that I had a recording system sitting on ready at all times just in case.

    I knew so much about the elder's personal lives, there was nothing they could say to me without getting some retort from me about their own moral or ethical lapses. That had a highly beneficial effect - for me at least. It left the elders gasping like a fish out of water. Even when you're an active JW, you can't be walked on unless you lie down first, and I refused to lie down. It wasn't something they were used to since it was obvious they didn't know how to deal with the situation.

    But I will tell you this: I got fewer and fewer unannounced elder calls until they stopped altogether, and the ones that were announced were always, for some strange reason, always suggested at times that were inconvenient. It usually took six months to get an appointment.

    I was a pill, that's for sure. I don't care for legally established authority, much less for these self-appointed "glorious ones."

    Try it. You'll like it. Nothing can beat the element of surprise, and it's always surprising to those morons for someone not only to stand up to them, but to challenge their ethics and morals in the bargain.


  • layla

    Well,,I've been out for about six months now.....and one of the elders is calling my cell phone every week....I'm just ignoring his calls...I hope he takes the hint and stops calling

  • teenyuck


    JT said it best....if any other person, other than our spouse, asked the invasive, outrageous questions these psuedo leaders bring up, they would be told to MYOB.

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    I ALWAYS feel obliged to answer elders in some way, even if it's by totally shunning - it's just that the obligation isn't to Them.

  • JT

    JT said it best....if any other person, other than our spouse, asked the invasive, outrageous questions these psuedo leaders bring up, they would be told to MYOB.

    you know the concept of "Elders" is something that is pounded in a jw head much like FDS matt24:44-45 is

    when you stop and consider the avg qualification of the avg elder is is frightening to think that we WILLINGLY AND OPENLLY submitted ourselves to these guys

    even myself being an elder i look back and think here i was a 27yr old high school graduate, pretending that i was appointed to give LIFE AND DEATH ADVICE like i was Moses or something

    every time i read this quote it just runs a cold tinkle down my back:

    Paducah Sun 1-28-01

    Mario Moreno, associate general counsel at the church's New York headquarters,.

    J.R. Brown, public affairs director for the church,

    Both Brown and Moreno said that the elders, who volunteer and are essentially untrained clergy,

    each one of us only wants a dr who has MD behind his name, a guy to work on our car who knows what he is doing

    a stock broker who is licensed, , etc

    i can't think of one area in our lives where we would willing put our life in the hands of aN uNTRAINED VOLUNTEER- SMILE

    YET THAT is what we did a jw, so when one realizes this fact we should be come angry and pissed off at the F%CKing Never of some Cheese cracker man asking us something about our personal life

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Oh they'll show up at our house sooner or later. Nina's letter will start the bureaucracy working and they'll be coming by to lift their leg on me and mine.

    Will I talk to them? Oh yeah. I've been waiting 14 years. The last time I got my ass kicked by two congregations' elders, 2 COs and the DO. Not this time. Not again.

    Hasta la vista .... baby.

  • jws

    I haven't seen or heard from my elders in something like a dozen or so years. I really feel no obligation to them and feel no intimindation from them. In fact, a few years ago, I had the pleasure of arguing with my dad's elders over my his medical treatment (he had switched congs so they weren't the same elders at my last hall). It felt great to actually argue with them and score a few points and make them look stupid, without feeling guilty or in fear of not respecting their "authority".

    Although I must say, I still feel obliged to play by enough rules to stay hidden away and not get DF/DA for the sake of keeping my JW family members talking to me. If that means I have to talk to one, I'll try my best to keep maintaining my "fade away" status. But, seeing as though I haven't heard from them in years, I don't see that happening.

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