Professions in the Paradise

by The Real Edward Gentry 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • nowwhat?

    I'm going to open up a brewery the brothers will be awfully thirsty after working all day burying all the dead!

  • waton

    One pioneer suggested he would be a one crop farmer. vinter. growing the smart fruit, the one that knows how to turn itself into wine.

    re screws. some of the now most valuable furniture was build without them. just using intricate joints, dovetails, tenons, wedges, slotting. Even imperfect Noah's ark is shown by wt to have been held together by wooden dowels! turning bayonets into chisels? eternally?

    we can not imagine yet, how far humans can regress, and advance the ancient, simpler skills.

  • punkofnice

    I'm going to open a Panda grooming parlour. How happifying.

  • waton

    how about a clinic to restore the libido and anatomy of the resurrected ones? by way of hormone treatment, and using all the useless OPRs left idle. Restoring navels, if they become fashionable among the resurrected masses? after all they would be a symbol of your past mating fitness! memories, for the children of the resurrection.

    creating a real gentry again. including Edward.

  • sir82

    Just imagine having your roof repaired by Elijah or Moses! Or having a new chair or cabinets built by Noah! And then preparing a meal for them!

    TREG is of course (probably!) a clever troll, but JWs really do speculate on crap like this. Although mostly it centers on "conversations", rather than "roof repair".

    Anyways, I always wondered about the logistics of stuff like this.

    The "Insight" books pegged the likely number of those who had died without "knowing Jehovah", and thus eligible for a resurrection to earth, at 20 billion.

    That was nearly 30 years ago, you'd have to add a few more billions to that, but let's go with it for now.

    20 billion people, all of whom want to have a conversation with, say, Noah.

    If Noah did nothing else but talk with individuals, 15 minutes each, 12 hours a day, it would take him....

    Well over 1 million years to get around to everybody (20 billion people divided by 48 per day, divided by 365 days in a year).

    I dunno, I think I might start to lose interest in waiting to see him around year 20,000 or 30,000 or so.

    There are all kinds of logical (and logistical) absurdities in the picture JWs paint of their "paradise". This is just one more.

  • ttdtt


  • NewYork44M
    We know there will be no money in paradise.

    How do we know that? I must have missed the Wt.on speculation. I have always questioned the economic structure of the paradise. In fact, this was one of the many ah-ha moments of the insanity of the fairytale of the JW earthly paradise.

  • dubstepped

    Eve could open a fruit stand.

    Job could help people forget their previous children, for after all, he had more too. Kind of a counseling service as one's work toward perfection.

    Lot can mine salt for us all.

    Esau can trade his fine soups for things.

  • punkofnice

    I'm going to set up a business waxing carrots.

  • Betheliesalot

    I always though of the old dirty men coming back in the filthy night shirts as totally smelly and unkept, I would not want to get within a mile of any of them if this fairy tale from sheep herders imagination did come true. The other side of the coin so to speak sounds much better. That you will see a bright light as you are pulled through outer space toward the sun and after see ing all your relatives saying welcome and you are feeling so happy like you were on Heroin, your journey stops at the head goat herder and he puts his arms around you and says We have been waiting for just you to show up. (self centered dream of most born agains). Both scenarios seem far fetched, than I try not to take either one seriously.

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