Panic Attacks

by rebel 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • LyinEyes

    I am sorry for your panic attacks Rebel, I have had some myself, it is a bad feeling. I felt like I was having a heartattack, dizzy, couldnt breathe, and the great need to escape.

    I so totally agree with Namewithheld, I too suffered all those things his wife did, the fibromyaglia etc.When I left the borg, I did get better. I still get the fibro attacks and pain, migraines but it is like 80% better, which is remarkable.

    If you can not leave the WT all together, sounds like you can't right now,,,,,, that too is probably your self rebelling, being tired of the WT telling you what to do, the elders, and your husband. After so many people to answer to, you start to feel suffocated. My hubby was an elder and didnt pressure me much , but the other elders pressured him. That is they did till the day, I drove my self to the doctors office and didnt tell anyone,,,,, was not my intention to scare anyone, But my husband thought I had lost it. I was under a lot of pressure. We were at the end of our JW days. He was so scared about me, not knowing where I was, that he threaten this one elder to never to speak to me or cause me anymore anxiety. He had that elder scared that he was gonna hit him I think. My husband was just in a panick over my state of mind. It was kind of funny, because I thought my husband knew I was going to the doctor, but he didnt.

    I can suggest that when you go to the meetings, let it be this secret you have within yourself, that you are not going to give in to all of the ones telling you what to do. Make a game plan. I know that panic attacks are very real. Get some infomation printed out give to your hubby and tell him you may be outside in the car, or in smaller quieter room in the hall. Then take a nap, draw on paper, read a book, balance your checkbook, write in your calander, anything to give yourself the power to not be forced to have your own mind pay attention to their talks and crap. It will be like a first step victory that only you know about. It may even make you smile to know , that you might be there in the flesh because you have to , but Damnit you don't have to like it or listen to it. You can go off into a trance thinking about shopping, remember something funny, plans you want to do with a friend. Take baby steps to pull away, and as time goes by, you will miss more and more meetings, and in the meantime conquoring the panic attacks.

    I had to take meds for my panic attacks , and it helped alot. So you might want to check into that, they even have some out that are non habit forming,,,,,, Buspar is one, you have to take it for awhile for it to kick in. Even some of the antidepressants work for panic attacks too.

    I think it is both a physical biochemical problems, and also emotional. When we feel we are forced to do something, we naturally fight back. I know I did, even thou I didnt know it, my body was fighting back.

    Hope you find something that helps a little and it wont go away all at once, but believe that you can control it and in time you will.

    Let us know how it turns out.

  • ChakkaConned

    What an interesting phenomenon. I wonder how many other religions have produced such effects on so many of it's members? Really, someone needs to conduct some kind of study on this.

    Rebel, I too, can empathize. In fact, it was when I first started having panic attacks that I began to take a good honest look at my life and what was going on inside of me. At the time, I felt I was doing all that I could possibly do to live "right". I was working hard to serve God, be a good JW mom and a good wife. Yet, something internally was obviously going eskew. Why and why now when I had made such "positive" changes in my life? And that is when I began to look at the reality of what my religion was truly doing for me.

    One small thing that you might want to do is sit in the back of the hall when you go on sunday. It was when I had to sit in the front that I used to feel so panicky. Not sure why except perhaps the idea of all of the "friends" watching those in the front added to the discomfort of being there. Sitting in the back and closer to the door helped me feel less enclosed and less scrutinized. The only problem is that you might have to go earlier to secure one of these much coveted seats You can always tell one of the attendents that you're not feeling well and need to sit in the back row. Just a thought.

    Good luck Rebel and take care


  • rebel

    LyinEyes - Thanks for your advice. I will keep my mind occupied so that I don't listen. I am good at letting my mind wander - I do it all the time. I think my husband does worry about me, but only the spiritual side and what will happen to me because I hardly attend any more. He knows how I feel about the whole thing. I have shown him so many things, including the news report from The Guardian on the UN scandal, but he still won't accept that they aren't the true religion.

    CC - You are right. I have often wondered how many people suffer from mental illnesses in the JW organisation. I think there was a thread on it before. They put you under so much pressure to do more, conform more and think less. I feel as if I have been suffocated all these years.

    I am amazed by the number of people on this board who have suffered with panic attacks. Is it a JW thing, or what?


  • LyinEyes

    I really think that the reason it is that so many of us on this board have panic attacks is due to effects of the whole JW mind control issues,,,,,,,,,,,to a point.

    Especailly for those who are just coming out , it seems to be worse for those. I guess because we have be hurt , abused lost trust and even lost trust in ourselves. You know we get to that point how could I have been so stupid as to believe that crap all those years, all my life. I think we feel that we can't trust ourselves to think clearly, at first, but it is a majoy life change. Probably one of the hardest, I would say it is like a death for sure. It is a death, a death of what we once were, a death of our spirituality as we once knew it to be. So there is going to be stress involved in this kind of situation.

    Plus many on this board, were abused as children, and we feel the effects of all of that. It seems when you leave the JW , alot of memories come back, and you have to face things that happened to you from a different point of view. I can't say if the childhood abuse is due to being witnesses, I am sure it didnt help, but there are just so many in all selfrighteous religons who do not teach love, broken homes, etc. that cause stress and pain on the children. Even if it happened so long ago, an adult still has to heal that little child that was hurt. In my opinion, that is just one of the ways to get better, we have to deal with all of our issues, regardless of how, and why, or even who caused them. I have seen some amazing examples of many on this board who have pulled themselves out of such grief and darkness , to come up strong, courageous, and very loving , healthy people.

Share this