I am sorry for your panic attacks Rebel, I have had some myself, it is a bad feeling. I felt like I was having a heartattack, dizzy, couldnt breathe, and the great need to escape.
I so totally agree with Namewithheld, I too suffered all those things his wife did, the fibromyaglia etc.When I left the borg, I did get better. I still get the fibro attacks and pain, migraines but it is like 80% better, which is remarkable.
If you can not leave the WT all together, sounds like you can't right now,,,,,, that too is probably your self rebelling, being tired of the WT telling you what to do, the elders, and your husband. After so many people to answer to, you start to feel suffocated. My hubby was an elder and didnt pressure me much , but the other elders pressured him. That is they did till the day, I drove my self to the doctors office and didnt tell anyone,,,,, was not my intention to scare anyone, But my husband thought I had lost it. I was under a lot of pressure. We were at the end of our JW days. He was so scared about me, not knowing where I was, that he threaten this one elder to never to speak to me or cause me anymore anxiety. He had that elder scared that he was gonna hit him I think. My husband was just in a panick over my state of mind. It was kind of funny, because I thought my husband knew I was going to the doctor, but he didnt.
I can suggest that when you go to the meetings, let it be this secret you have within yourself, that you are not going to give in to all of the ones telling you what to do. Make a game plan. I know that panic attacks are very real. Get some infomation printed out give to your hubby and tell him you may be outside in the car, or in smaller quieter room in the hall. Then take a nap, draw on paper, read a book, balance your checkbook, write in your calander, anything to give yourself the power to not be forced to have your own mind pay attention to their talks and crap. It will be like a first step victory that only you know about. It may even make you smile to know , that you might be there in the flesh because you have to , but Damnit you don't have to like it or listen to it. You can go off into a trance thinking about shopping, remember something funny, plans you want to do with a friend. Take baby steps to pull away, and as time goes by, you will miss more and more meetings, and in the meantime conquoring the panic attacks.
I had to take meds for my panic attacks , and it helped alot. So you might want to check into that, they even have some out that are non habit forming,,,,,, Buspar is one, you have to take it for awhile for it to kick in. Even some of the antidepressants work for panic attacks too.
I think it is both a physical biochemical problems, and also emotional. When we feel we are forced to do something, we naturally fight back. I know I did, even thou I didnt know it, my body was fighting back.
Hope you find something that helps a little and it wont go away all at once, but believe that you can control it and in time you will.
Let us know how it turns out.