Another Busted Family

by 95stormfront 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • 95stormfront

    It seems the WT god has successfully busted up another family.

    My wife informed me that one of her friends husband gave her an ultimatum; it's goona be either the JW religion or him and she chose to follow WT doctrine rather than keep her family together. Another who's so-called taken stand for the trooth.

    My wife is just berating the guy for leaving his family, but in my opinion it was not he who left, but his wife. It wasn't he who changed and introduced such a destructive influence into the family, it was she. What was this man to do but sit there and watch those old geezers whittle away the way he has sucessfully ran his household and watch as his wife become less a spouse but more a slave peddling magazines door to door in pursuit of the paradise pipe dream.

  • Farkel

    When one gives an ultimatum, one should be prepared to face the consequences. If the man was willing to risk losing his wife and family over his demands that she leave the JW (or any) religion or he will leave her, then he got his wish.


  • jst2laws

    Wow Storm,

    Well said. I did not appreciate this half a century ago when my dad gave my mother the ultimatum. We thought he was being authoritarian and selfish. About 20 years ago I realized how these men feel seeing outsiders worm their way into healthy families and changing loyalties and goals.


  • Beans

    Has anything changed, not!



    I am hip deep in busted up dub family`s..I am sick of it..There`s nothing left to do but support the survivours..A silver lining on a very black cloud..Thats the truth of it...OUTLAW

  • LB

    Sounds like we shouldn't blame the society for this one either. She didn't demand he become a witness, he demanded she leave. Any spouse that is demanding is looking for trouble, or looking to be alone.

  • Buster

    95storm, Welcome.

    With so little detail it is difficult to draw any kind of conclusion. Even with all the detail in the world, I wouldn't be able to decide if the husband had done all he could, or whether his situation was intolerable. I'll tell you one thing, i couldn't tolerate it if my wife brought her religion into bed and we weren't doing something because some after-hours-restaurant cleaner said so. If she was letting others have input on decisions that should be between her and me, I would feel like she walked away from the marriage. The public at large would never see that detail. This hypothetical wife would not likely see it the same way, and I certainly wouldn't go blabbing it about town. It would look to the outside like I left her.

  • Bona Dea
    Bona Dea

    It is hard to unbiasedly say one way or the other. Chances are he knew what the results of that action would be. But I know, from experience, how difficult it is to live with a JW once you are no longer a part of the truth...and it ain't easy. I would relate this type of ultimatum to the scenario of the spouse forcing the other spouse to decide between their family or an alcohol addiction, an affair, or anything else that attempted to destroy the relationships that they had. I can't imagine the WTS having no affect whatsoever on the relationship between that man and his wife, or that wife and their children...and even harder to imagine that attempts were not made by the JWs to make that relationship almost impossibly difficult.

    It is maddening to live with someone who has a religion that demands so much of their time, attention, and their life. Even more maddening when you are expected to live with it -- like it or not -- and watch your children grow to think this is the way it should be.


  • 95stormfront
    Sounds like we shouldn't blame the society for this one either. She didn't demand he become a witness, he demanded she leave.

    Agreed that she may not have demanded that he become a witness outright, but as she was planning on being baptised I'm sure he was already experiencing what I like to call "witness creep".

    I remember when my wife first started studying and I began dealing with "witness creep." All of a sudden the joy we had spending X-mas and other holidays with relatives was replaced with a loathing for anything X-mas or holiday related. The time we used to spend together was replaced and almost always interrupted by yet another meeting or feild service activity. Any conversation with her was repleat with the JW "buzzwords" that implied that I was now less a man and husband since I wasn't falling inline with WT dogma. Decisions once made between the two of us now slowly having to be reconciled and in some cases superceded by a Watchtower Article or whatever the "opinion of the day" was of the elderly pioneer ladies she was studying with.

    Being the different individuals we are, we choose to deal with "witness creep" in different ways. Some choose to stay with the changing mate in hopes that it will get better or that they'll come to their senses and others choose to cut their losses and run. It's all a matter of how you want to deal with this 3rd person (organization) that's slowly and insidiously "creeped" into your relationship and set itself up as head.

  • xjw_b12

    Geez. That's a tough one !

    I couldn't imagine giving my wife an, or the religion. Especially if there are kids involved ?

    I think one might be best to be a false JW and go with the flow, and hope that surely but slowly, you are able to de-program the spouse. ( shuddering at the possibility )

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