What is your worst fear?

by Scully 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scully

    A recent death in my family triggered my worst fear - as irrational as it may sound - into a very real possibility.

    Let me explain: As a global culture, we simply accept that when someone dies, those who care about them will want to gather and offer a meaningful tribute to the person and those who survive them. That's what we DO, right?? Well not always. With regard to my recently deceased family member - her own children decided against holding a memorial service for her surviving family, which included two children and their respective spouses, eight grandchildren, and seven great grandchildren. Yes, we are spread out over 2000 miles. No, we have not maintained a close relationship over the years, but we would have gathered together anyway if a memorial service had been arranged. It's just the right thing to do.

    Now that I know how easily and matter-of-factly my own family can cast off one of its own, my irrational fear of nobody caring if and when I die has been haunting me and bothering me profoundly.

    So what is it that you fear the most?

    Love, Scully

  • outnfree


    I am sorry your mother and her brother chose to disrespect your grandma in this way. Perhaps she was right to be so angry about the move. Maybe it was endemic of a much deeper, older problem?

    Anyway, to answer your question: My worst fear is to have to bury one of my children. My sister buried a young son. My mother has already buried my sister and my brother is very sick. I think it's a terrible, awful, scarring thing to have to bury a child.

    Oh, and btw -- I would care if you died. You've made so many of my days pleasant and purposeful lately. :)


  • Joyzabel


    Just because some of your family members have not behaved in a "normal" way, please realize that you have "extended" family that would grieve greatly for you, because you have affected other's lives more than you realize. Not only here, but first of all your kids, your work associates and those whom you teach parenting/mothering/nurturing skills to at work.

    Please realize there are many sincere people here that really rely on this "community" to help them adjust to life's difficulties.



  • Mulan

    I have to agree with outnfree. My greatest fear is that one of my children (inclduigng their mates) or grandchildren die before I do. I just couldn't bear it. I get all tight in the chest just thinking about losing any of them.

  • gumby

    Now that I know how easily and matter-of-factly my own family can cast off one of its own, my irrational fear of nobody caring if and when I die has been haunting me and bothering me profoundly.

    Hey scullymeister,

    Sometimes when I look at the obituaries in our local paper I look at people who die at my age. One little tiny article in a column. Where I work a fellow flooring installer died of a stomach anurism. For a couple of days....(maybe...if that) conversation was back to normal. He was gone and life continued on. This bugged me. I know that family would grieve much longer and would perhaps wish they hadn't shunned me......who knows.

    Why don't you do like me? Get cremated.....and have your ashes sprinkled on the front lawn of the kingdom hall.......that way everytime the dubs pull in for meeting......they'll think of me.


  • anti-absolutism

    I agree with everybody on burying a child. (I am the father of 4)

    Also, my wife and I are breaking up and she is kind of in and kind of out of Jwism. She has threatened to not let me see my kids, since she knows that would be the easiest way to hurt me. What scares me is that her mother and likely other JW's are going to convince her and help her to follow through with it.


  • DIM

    That something would happen to my wife. I can't make it without her, I'd be a vegetable.

  • blondie

    I have faced my worst fears: rejection and isolation by my family, defeating a possible death-dealing disease, and the death of loved ones before their time (I don't have children but I had to mourn the loss of the ability of having any after my cancer operation). Growing up in an abusive environment makes you face your fears and not be taken over by them.

    My approach to fear is "what is the worst thing that could happen if this fear came true? How would I handle it?" I come up with some possibilities and bounce it off my doctor and husband. I get some good ideas here at JWD.

    Blondie (has fears but has a plan)

  • nightwarrior

    My worst fear would be waking up dead

    therby finding out that the organization were right all along ,and that somehow i had gone against the creator,

    But that is not possible ,bet i scared you somewhat,well thats my funny side coming out ,

    As you will know my people for the love they have amongst themselves,i am finding out that what would really scare the crap out of me would be to wake up and find i was still a member of the borg,can you imagine waking up on a sunday morniong and you started to get ready for the meeting ,

    yes that would be one of my worst fears.

    agape love scully.

  • Seven

    Hey {{{{Scully}}}}, I figured my family wouldn't much care if I died either so I named my closest and most trusted friend as executor and went the pre-arrangement route. Sort of a sick thing to do at such a young age but I guess there is nothing rational about our fears. I believe that when I die no more people will care at that time than cares about me now so wtf. End of fear.

    Now I've replaced that fear with another irrational one that plagues me. I will someday become the same self-absorbed, manipulative, sympathy and attention seeking, guilt trippin', emotional black mailing, deceptive shrew that is my biological mother. Stop that train!!! I've got to stop thinking that whenever people comment that I remind them of her that I'm not heading down that same road. Geez.



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