What is your worst fear?
I've come very close twice. Burying one of my children.
Losing my husband, young.
Sorry for the blank post. I still can't get this new board to edit.
Dearest Skully... may you have peace!
First, may I say that my "worst" fear... is to die in a manner of great lingering... particularly with uncontrollable pain... and/or having others have to care for me during some lengthy final days. My Lord knows... more than ANYTHING... I do not want to place such a burden on anyone... particularly my children. Nor do I want to die at a time when it would bring them great heartache and grief.
My hope, then, would be live a lengthy life and die "naturally", Jah permitting, at an age where no one would be caught off guard and as a result feel a need to grieve excessively. I cannot bear the thought of anyone I love grieving so... as I know how it feels, truly.
Regarding the "festivities" after my death... I recently went to the most WONDERFUL funeral: the deceased was a woman FULL of life... and so her funeral reflected that. There was lively music... and sublime music... and live performance by two nephews of a song she sang with them... and a wonderful eulogy by another nephew who acknowledged that although this wonderful lady was not "without sin"... she was STEEPED in love... so that hers was the ONLY house in what is quite a large family where JWs and non-JWs could come together. At her house, "baggage" was left at the door, and could only be picked up on the way out! LOLOLOLOLOL! No matter who you were, and what religion you practiced, hers was the "neutral" home! Truly, we all laughed... and cried... throughout the program.
Personally, though... I have no desire in this matter, but have decided to leave it to those to remain: if they want a memorial, they should have it. If they do not then that, too, will be their choice. And I can understand this, truly, for I did not even have the heart to attend my own father's funeral - he was the love of my life and to see his "shell" was too much for me to even consider, as well as the "falling out" of family that I knew would take place!... and had to leave partway through my mother's. I needed to keep the memory of them that I had; I didn't want to change my final "view"... I couldn't).
Funerals/memorials... are for the living, not the dead, so that I don't care, really. As for my children, should either one precede me in death... then I would have to ask the other... and their beloved friends as to what THEY want... and proceed on that basis.
I bid you the greatest of peace!
A slave of Christ,
My grandmother always used to say 'you don't know grief unless you've buried a child.' and I really believe that, I couldn't bear losing any of my three children, I would die myself.
God this is a morbid thread - (saved by Patio & 6of 9's feet patter),
My *average* fear? One of my children dying.
My *private* fear? Going senile & going back to my childhood. My grandmother did it......and lived out her life in a morbid fear of "him coming to get her." She'd sit there and urinate in her chair out of livid fear of being beaten by her father....just as she did & got as a child. No amount of sedatives (at that time) could alleviate her terror.
I don't want to see my father again. It would be a living hell. Hopefully, I'll have the courage to kill myself before going completely senile.
When my time comes to die, I want to go quietly and with dignity like my daddy and not screaming and roaring like his passengers. - Pat O'Brien
Just to bring a little more dark humor in here!
my wife dying and being buried alive
Sickness, Poverty, being alone, being damned, Losing a family member, not see Scully post at least once a day.
My biggest fear is dying without completing any 'unfinished business'. Also, losing my mind to a mind-altering disease, would bother me greatly.
As for dying, thankfully for me, my family are non-believers (never were), and they are very good about 'wishes' being carried out. I have a will, and just need to make it official, and then everyone in my family, close friends and probably my boss, will know where it is etc., and that things will be carried out as requested.
I wouldn't say that I think of these things in every waking moment, but it does cross my mind.
Scully relate to your feelings and experiences with death. I am glad you asked the question of fear. Interesting about fear. I connect with the dark and when one talks about fear it becomes light. Because when one does'nt talk about the feeling it becomes this huge monster in one's head. Getting another point of view and the energy changes the fear.
I am aware of my mortality everyday in my work place. I work in a county hospital in the Emergency Room. I seen over the 15 years taking care of people badly injuried or have died. My fear was knowing someone I knew come into the stablization room and die. Especially my children. Three years I had the experience in the stab. room. The woman had died. The injuries she received she was unrecognizable(sp). My job was to clean her up and document her belongings. I knew who she was by name in her check book. I could have been replaced with the situation. I choose to take care of her. I had worked with her on survivor video project for 3 yrs. Her partner and friends were glad that I took care of her. The partner was out of state at the time. Mainly no one came in the er.for her. I wanted to take care of her. They called me this angel. I did'nt feel that. It really was a spiritual moment for me. A matter of being respectful. And hopefully I am treated the same way
By that experience I change jobs within the dept. shortly after. I had seen enough trauma. I'm still the er but not on the front lines.
Just recently we had a co-worker die on the job in the ER. From that experience I remind self that I need to be present in the day in the moment life changes in matter of seconds. I can't be running off into the future.
Thanks again, OCW
Being a stay home dad I'm around my daughter all the time. If anything happened to her, like death, I would probably go insane. I can barely even consider it a possibility without getting freaked out.