Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater 40 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • nicolaou

    Ha! No Slim', Jesus was a mixed bag at best but I'll draw on the common perception of his goodness to make a point.

  • carla

    Would't this put you in a precarious situation with the rest of the cong? They will assume you are speaking to the df'd person and by association you will also become a bit of a leper?

  • freddo

    (Luke 11:46) . . .Then he said: “Woe also to you who are versed in the Law, because you load men down with loads hard to carry, but you yourselves do not touch the loads with one of your fingers!

    Pharisaical Elder?

  • KiddingMe

    It puts you in a position where you have contact her when your not going to the meeting, so she know not to expect you.. You have to go straight home from the meeting...what if you're not planning to do that. It puts pressure on you because now her spirituality depends on you getting her there.

    This is the elder's responsibility, not yours. They are the shepherds. This can go on forever after she is reinstated. What if you plan to fade?

    Tell him your uncomfortable doing, it. Don't give him any extra explanations.

  • Giordano

    "she asks weird questions and can get angry, so these are extra reasons I'm unhappy."

    Maybe her questions are not weird but honest in that she does not accept the complete crock of bull shit that most JW's do.

    nicolaou makes a good point you are either a follower of Jesus or your not. The Elder handing her off to you could be giving you a gift if you are inclined to think in those terms.

    Since you can talk to her when traveling too and from the meetings it would be interesting to get her opinion about this whole DFing situation from her perspective. I'd say go for it.

    Funny how so many on this site think this is a big imposition....it's just a ride people!

    Smoking? Tell her not to light up in your car....... lol.

  • scratchme1010
    I'm PIMO, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a Meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

    It's your choice and your car. If for some reason it's in your own benefit to agree with the elders (sometimes people who are fading have to remain in good standing with them for their own reasons), I'd say that she may become your friend. I'd be very curious as to why a person submits his/herself to being treated like that.

    She could certainly use some humanity.

  • FedUpJW

    It seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.

    It is all about the $$$$ and the time with them. They would be falling over themselves to give her a ride IF they could get a boatload of praise from others for it.

    I went through this with an eldurr in my locality who always tried to guilt me into giving rides to his bible indoctrination victims, dis-fellowshipped people, and the loons who no one else could tolerate. Then I finally got FedUp and told him "NO"! Now I am a persona non grata in his book, and I am just fine with that.

  • Diogenesister

    Er....you don't have to shun her. Talk to her, tell her ttatt, if she " asks weird questions" that could be witness code for her asking difficult questions. I'm also not surprised she gets angry, being shunned. Here's your chance to free someone from a life of misery. It also gives you the perfect excuse NOT to shun her.

  • steve2

    Are you travelling alone in your vehicle? Isn't it JW organization "policy" to have rules on a lone brother taking a lone sister in a vehicle, let alone that she is disfellowshipped? At the very least, the local elders would expect her to travel in the back on the car. Was this aspect considered? A very, very, strange request by the elder.

    Besides that, what stops you asking the elder the very good questions you ask in your OP?

  • Incognito

    You are an adult female who gets to decide who you will allow or are comfortable in allowing in your vehicle. No excuses are necessary. You don't need to stop to explain to each hitchhiker you see as to why you will not give them a ride, so to in this situation, you don't know this person. Although she may attend your KH, she has been deemed by your elders as an un-acceptable JW which you must accept without question. Throw their rules back on them.

    Edit to add: I expect the elders expectation will be that you don't converse even while alone in the vehicle. She would likely be expected to get in and say nothing, as would you for the entire trip, there and back. How uncomfortable would that situation be?

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