Faking it to keep my family.... need your input (page 2)

mattnoel

Its a tough call !

All I can say is "What a waste of your life, if you do!"

Sorry to be so to the point but it is pretty much something I tried to do, but it is so hard and depressing, do you really want to waste you life like this, you will be closing so many doors of opportunity, its not that easy to just pretend with the witnesses, think about it, you will have to study in your own personal time, do you know how boring that is when you are not interested ! go to the meetings when you want to go out with friends, you will have to abandon friends that are not JW.

Believe me, you slip up, you are for it with them ! I dont know how anyone can live a life pretending like this, it is like a death sentance.

Nothing against your family here, they are obviously sucked in by the witnesses, but like my other half said "were they really your friends if they have now abandoned you !" it would be interesting if your family do actually abandon you completely, and it will also be really sad if they let the religion get the better of them in that way. I learnt the hard way on this one tried and failed, I was very miserable and when I left I had to make new friends, I did it and I am happy now.

Its up to you at the end of the day, but personally I wouldnt do it again !

All the best in whatever you do !

X

Dansk

Kat,

Mattnoel is absolutely right!

You say you're married now and would like to have children. Your priority MUST be to these and not to your parents, even though that sounds hard and unfeeling. It isn't meant to be.

Just look what's happened to my family (see TORN APART). Your wife and any children you have will ALL be expected to become JWs. Have you thought what would happen if you or they tried to break away later? Goodness, it'd be a hundred times worse. Your wife could end up leaving you. Your children could end up leaving you (mine have!).

You're a brave person to admit to what you've been through on this list - I was shocked and saddened but full of admiration for how you've pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, got on with life, found a lovely understanding girl and with the promise of even greater things to come.

The problem isn't yours, Kat, its your parents!! The Elders book on page 103 states that even disfellowshipped persons can be visited by relatives providing the conversation is kept free of spiritual matters (YOU might uphold that, but will they?!).

With all the adverse publicity the WTS is getting right now - especially re Silent Lambs - they wouldn't want it known that your parents won't see you. Tell your parents THEY are in the wrong and the Society says so (re Elders book).

The bottom line is, like my wife and I and countless thousands of others, you are being held captive to emotional blackmail. DON'T FALL FOR IT! Write to your parents, send them cards, express your love for them. If they don't wake up to that, then the problem is even more theirs than yours.

We're all here for you, Kat. Remember, others don't even have that privilege!

God Bless,

Dansk and Family.

Skeptically Yours

Kat_newmas,

Speaking by experience, faking it all just to keep peace with friends and family is awful! And this so-called religious organization wants so much from its people!

I've been in, missing as many meetings/activities as possible, for the past 10 years and it's slowly but surely getting to my mental health.

Take care!

kat_newmas

You are all right of course. I recently wrote my parents.... I told them that while I was sorry (to a degree) that we could not agree on religous doctrine.... that I was greatful for the spiritual foundation they gave me. I tried to remain... neutral? as far as the subject went. We have since talked on the phone.

I think the people on this site... helped me find the courage to say things to my parents, that I could never say as a child. I know my parents will always feel that it is their duty to .... bring me back to the fold.... they may never stop trying, and yes, they will try to get my wife and child too... but this time, I got the first say so, and nobody is brainwashing anybody. I want my parents back.... but I am not stupid...... I know there are consequences.... I have left them with one choice..... Accept your son, who loves you, and appreciates everything you did for him. I wont hold the lies against you, if you dont hold my beliefs against me. Let us be a family again, and realize that we have different spiritual beliefs. The past is forgotten.

We will see, I suppose.

I just wanted to thank everyone who helped me with the courage thing. AND I just wanted to make clear, that I dont consider my life to be some "sad story".... because of JW's.... I survived male prostitution, homelessness... at the age of 13, I was sleeping under school-buses in the snow. I was sleeping on the roof-tops of fast food restaraunts, to avoid being raped. . . I learned much about life. I learned much about humanity. I am a strong person now. I sacrificed everything that I loved as a child, to leave this horrible religious construct. I am alive now. I am a successful artist, with an open mind. I have married a beautiful british woman.. . the whole point of contacting my parents, I think, was just to say " I survived it, and I kept most of my humanity in tact. Without the .... challenge, I woulnt be where I am today."

Eppie

Hai,

Thanks for sharing your story! It sounds to me that you have survived a lot, and am very happy that you grew stronger from it. I hope you will establish good contact with your parents again! Keep us updated,

Hug,

Eppie

mattnoel

Kat that was a really nice message, and the others that put in their bits too couldnt be more right. Look at us that have TRIED and failed to do it and how we have suffered.

We are all here for you and we are all lucky we have a site like this where we can all gain support from each other, what would we do without it.

Take care and put it behind you mate, you like me sound like you have been through a hell of a lot in your life, dont add troubles too it, you have the potential of being really happy. The sooner this is all behind you the better for you mate !

Kind regards,

Matt

francois

dustrabbit

well, don't fake it...if you fake it, it's kinda like when somebody is faking it during a certain bedroom activity...sooner or later the other is gonna find out and will feel let down by the lie.

take care,

the ORIGINAL Dustrabbit

Faking it to keep my family.... need your input

mattnoel

Dansk

Skeptically Yours

kat_newmas

Eppie

mattnoel

starfish422

kat_newmas

Francois

dustrabbit

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