My grandmother called my mother

by Anony Mous 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    So, I’m just posting this as a warning to lurking JWs. If you’re still on the fence, here is a story.

    My grandmother, now in her 80s hasn’t talked to anyone in the family for over 20 years ever since my mother was the last one of her children that left ‘the truth’, she had sent my mother a card to never talk to her again. So here we are 21 years later, she gets a call out of the blue that she needed help, she hadn’t been able to get into her kitchen. My mother didn’t even have her number in her phone anymore, so as soon as she hears the voicemail, she sends her husband out to help, next day my mother goes and visits.

    Long story short, grandmother doesn’t even recognize her own daughter, thought she was a nurse, no, you called me yesterday, completely forgotten, but yes, people are continuing to break into her apartment and moving stuff in the kitchen and she had locked the door to the kitchen as a result and then someone stole the key. As you can surmise, she has advanced dementia at this point.

    So where is your JW friend. She is the executor of her estate at this point, too old to make it up the stairs to her apartment, so she never visits, but we go shopping together but she buys too many groceries (whether that is all true is up for debate). Nobody from the congregation comes? She laments, nobody knows who I am (she has been nearly 60 years a JW, pioneer for most of it) I go to meetings on Zoom, nobody visits, how about elder so-and-so, died, so-and-so, died, so-and-so, retirement home, okay, so literally nobody knows who she is, nobody cares, nobody arranges for visits or wants to pick her up to go to meetings. She had been without food for 3 days and the only person left to call, I must imagine she has tried the elders, other JWs, is her daughter, who she hasn’t talked to in 21 years, not in the store, not at family functions, flat out stonewall ignored.

    So my mother is now in conversation with social services, who were already investigating ‘weird’ bank statements, apparently, grandma’s executor, a JW pioneer, you know the deal, has been spending money on her own ‘needs’ because unlike my grandfather who always worked (he was ‘fiercefully’ against the JWs) and left a nice, cozy pension, pioneers have nothing for their old days.

    Truly despicable, this morning my church did a call for a family from another country and another church (not even the same denomination) in need and people stepped up, even though they don’t even know these people. JWs can’t even be bothered to take care of their own and would leave an old lady to die because she stopped being able to attend in person a few years ago and even a ride to the meeting is too far for this new generation.

  • jhine
    jhine

    May l ask which church you attend. ?

    I understand that you may not want to say .

    Jan from Tam

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister

    I'm guessing you're in the UK because you used the term "social services"? Thank goodness they at least where involved. Can you imagine the utter scandal if an elderly lady, with dementia, starved to death, because her "church" of 60 years deserted her in her hour of need?!

    I don't have words strong enough for how low this organisation is. How devoid of even the most basic principals.😡

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    @Jan: I attend a Presbyterian church with my family. I am not a believer, but I do enjoy the conversation, interpretation and the music (we have a choir and instrumental section). They also do tons of outreach, both foreign and domestic, make an effort towards non-believers and other denominations and people give freely.

    @Dio: not in the UK but not very far from there :) in the US it is also called social services colloquially, but the actual department name is different by state, I think the UK actually calls the organization “Social Services”, although isn’t it part of NHS now?

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    ANONY MOUS:

    This is very sad and I am in agreement with DIOGENESISTER.

    When I hear stories like this of elderly JWs putting trust in strangers in the religion instead of their OWN family, I get positively ill. ..I am so grateful I was not raised a Witness and have no family there.

    At least I know by comparison my blood family are the only people who really cared about me.. It was a lesson I learned and will never forget.

    Will your post help any lurking JWs to see what the REAL story is there and to not be fooled by urban legends?? I sincerely hope so!

  • joe134cd
    joe134cd

    I had a very similar situation concerning a Great Aunt. Lived and breathed JWisim. I remember asking the care nurse at the rest home, when visiting my Aunt, about the visitors. The comment the nurse gave me will stay with me forever, “once dementia sets in they are largely forgotten about.”

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    I have to point out that though that callous attitude is general among J.W's,i.e. forget those who no longer attend etc. that there are exceptions in individuals, and some Congregations are quite good at care of the Elderly, but I am sure that what I am referring to is rare.

    I see more true "Love among yourselves" in many other denominations, and even in some secular/ non-religious Orgs. I am amazed at how much these people do, very altruistic and really caring.

    J.W's as an Org. stand condemned by Scripture, by the very words of Jesus , as not being his followers.

    I hope Grandma gets all the help and support needed Anony Mouse, but what a scandal that the local J.W's do nothing !

  • BoogerMan
    BoogerMan

    The hallmark of a true Christian:

    (John 13:35) "By this all will know that you are my disciples - if you knock on doors & preach the good news of the kingdom if you have love among yourselves."

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    Typical story. The few times anyone calls it is an afterthought during doorto door. Then the encouragement is to put in time, return to in person. The non witness neighbors shovel snow, drop by, offer aid, send tidbits. 1 elder, 2 ms, 3sisters live within 3 blocks.

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    Not surprised at all. In my late teens and 20's I saw this behaviour towards my own family.

    1. My father became terminally ill. My mother worked full-time as an RN. Both parents JW's for 20 years, always in good standing. My worn-out mother asked for shepherding visits, maybe an announcement for meals, etc. This was a lot, as my mother NEVER asked for help, ever! Know what the elders did? Told my mother they weren't a charity, and that if she's down she should pray more, attend more meetings, and be more regular in the field ministry. Her jaw was on the floor. Meanwhile, a fat Elder just had by-pass surgery, and an announcement was made from the podium to please take meals to his wife, etc. Did I mention this woman didn't work a job in her life, etc? She had nothing to do! My father passed away. The entire "we don't give a shit" attitude of the JW's woke my mother up!

    2. My the 80-something grandmother was a bit overweight, had diabetes, and also bad arthritis. She had to stop her letter-writing. One summer day, some old Pioneer sisters dropped by on their route. The called up to my grandma's room and asked why she wasn't out walking a route? Umm......cause she's 84 yrs old and has crippling arthritis? GTFOOH!!!!

    3. My own mother than became terminally ill after receiving a life-saving organ transplant that didn't take. We were 200 miles from home at a well-known "Bloodless" University Hospital. (as bloodless as you can get anyway) So my mother is only days from death, so I called up our Presiding Overseer who was typically a pretty nice guy. I was alone in a parking garage, pretty distraught from the day when I called him at 6 pm. I conveyed the grim situation, and asked if he could perform a shepherding visit, etc. Want to know what this heartless fucker did to me? He informed me that I was "interrupting his dinner" and that I should contact the local Body of Elders and have one of them come to see her one last time. Then, he promptly hung up on me. I was STUNNED!!!!! No words of consolation, no scriptures, no NOTHING except to basically tell me I'm on my own and stop bothering him during his dinner. I was so aghast at the "fine Christian luvvvvv" on top of my already dire situation, that I burst into tears, alone in my car. It was probably the final blow for me. After that, I didn't give a fug what JW's thought, taught, or anything else. On top of that, upon learning of my mother's condition, her co-workers (also RN's) rented a large mini-van, took off work for 2 days, and drove down to visit my mother the next day. Mercifully, she was awake and aware (her last good day on earth) and it was a bright sunny day. They visited, took me to lunch, consoled me, and also came to her funeral. The hospital also planted a tree and bench with plaque in her honour. (she worked there 35 years) I was STUNNED!!!!! These were her "Worldly" co-workers. The JW's didn't give 2 shits, but all these other people did. I was so grateful to them.

    JW's are a total CULT. They only care about someone as much as they are able to USE THEM and get all of their money. When you're old or sick, they are NOWHERE to be found. They are 100% USELESS FUCKERS!!!

    Take my word for it. I lived this shit. WatchTower is it's own favourite charity.

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