Is it Possible to Love More than One Person?

by Robdar 64 Replies latest social relationships

  • Farkel


    You summed it up perfectly!

    : :romantic love:

    : : man = I want to boink with you

    Absolute fact.

    :: woman = I want to chain you to me forever

    Often a fact, but not always.

    : : romantic love later in life:

    : man = it's just too much trouble to bolt from that crap these days

    Yeah. Women tend to wear down the guys as the years go on.

    : woman = I sure as hell don't want to have to train a new one

    That is also true and it speaks volumes. One of the reason guys who've been around the block a few times don't bother anymore is because of that very same attitude some women have: you train dogs, you don't "train" men. You accept them or you don't accept them. That's it!

    If you women who think that men need to be "trained" and are lucky enough to find a man who wants to be "trained" by a woman, you've found yourself a genuinely insecure man and a total loser.

    Of course, men also play the same game with women, and the women who play that same game are total losers or at least very insecure, too.

    It's just too much trouble to bother with for me these days.


  • Xena

    *sigh* it was a joke Farkel....

    but I suppose even jokes have an element of truth in them hhhmmmm?

    some women no doubt do pick "trainable" men..just as some men pick just women who are "bonkable".....unfortunately there are losers and jerks on both sides of the sexes....

    lol at times it is a bit much for me to bother with too

  • Farkel


    : lol at times it is a bit much for me to bother with too

    Yep. If every adult could just boink every other adult safely and without recrimination, religious or political, someone could then figure out a tangible definition of "love." Until then, boinking remains the stubborn obstacle in that equation.

    Until then, the cosmic question remains: "do you boink hoping to find love, or do you love and then boink hoping to find love in return?"

    These kinds of questions give me a headache.


    Edited by - Farkel on 15 February 2003 23:11:21

  • Xena

    ROFL...Farkel you think WAY TO MUCH!

    Xena of the I just Boink cause it feels GOOD class

  • Farkel


    : ROFL...Farkel you think WAY TO MUCH!

    Yeah. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time!

    Those who are stuck and don't want to think or consider all the possibilities think I'm a jerk.

    Those who aren't stuck and do want to consider all the possibilities, think I'm a hero.

    Come to think about it, they ALL think I'm a jerk.

    It's a beautiful thing!


    Edited by - Farkel on 15 February 2003 23:24:55

  • Golden Girl
    Golden Girl

    Speaking for myself...I was married to the same man for 45years..The love was deeper towards the end then it ever was. I could never have loved another Man the way I loved him. And I'm sure he felt the same way about me.

    With the pain I am feeling since he passed away being so great..I sometimes wish I hadn't loved him so much. I was always thinking I was so strong and independant. But I sure got a surprise.

    I don't think it's too good an idea to be SO dependant on one person. He had cut me off from so much with him being a witness..everything revolved around what he wanted. Now I just sit and think..what do I do now?...It's going to take time for me to figure out what I want. I could enjoy it more if I didnt miss him so much...but I know that takes time...

    But then again..I did get to experience a deep that was wonderful..

    Snoozy....aka..Golden Girl...

  • Solace

    LOL @ Fark & Xena

    I do find this interesting. I personally couldnt be intimate with someone unless I was in love with them. I think alot has to do with trust too.

    Im not saying that it isnt right to have sex with someone you arent in love with. Its basically up to the person and whatever they feel comfortable with.

    Whats ironic is my husband feels the exact opposite as I do. He said he would feel less threatened and wouldnt mind if I would just have casual sex, without loving the other person, if I was to ever be with someone else. I guess thats thats the catch, he knows Im not capable of that, ya know?

    Maybe there really is no right or wrong way. Maybe its more about whatever works for you and your partner.

    Everyones different, ya know?

  • Solace

    Oh snoozy,

    Just saw your post, its so nice to hear from you.

    I could tell you loved your husband very much by the way you spoke of him, took care of him, and how worried you were. You are such an inspriation to us all.

    Take care hun.

  • Elsewhere
    I don't think it's too good an idea to be SO dependant on one person.

    For a long time I was a very detached person... I would actually refer to people with "the"... such as "Have you seen the Robert?"... sure I did it in a joking manner... but I was still doing it.

    I avoided close relationships because I knew that everyone was going to die anyway. I would avoid getting close because I didn't want to have to deal with the pain of loosing someone.

    In time I have learned that being alone is far worst than having someone who will be lost in death. I have corrected this and have opened my heart and am willing to share it now.

    Cherish your memories... it sounds like you have been a very lucky woman who had the opportunity to love a man very deeply. Sure, he wasn't perfect... but you did love him non-the-less.

  • Roski

    Just a comment in response to the poster who compared western culture(s) with other cultures who do not operate within the same familial guidelines. I feel that we often tend to over simplify behaviours that we have not experienced and compare them favourably under certain circumstances. From experience, I would challenge the idea that non monogomous marriages work harmoniously in other cultures. Such cultures (at least the ones I am aware of) are societies where those choices are the choices of the male, and the women are legally and socially unable to resist such behaviour. Many issues other than the concept of a shared marriage (shared love/emotions) come into play, eg the continuation of the family name/line etc.- not to mention money. Within these arrangement there is often much hurt and anger with one woman and her children inevitably being the outcasts. It is usually the women who fight for change to take place as they are the cictims of such social mores. While it may sound good in National Geographic etc, the reality may be very different. I have never yet met a woman who wants it to go back to the way of her grandparents! I will leave the original question to those more qualified to answer:-)

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