How to wash a cat

by Angharad 31 Replies latest social humour

  • Angharad

    I love cats really but this made me laugh !

    How To Wash The Cat!

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

    2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

    3. Obtain the cat and carry to the bathroom.

    4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he/she cannot escape).

    CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as the paws will be reaching out to maliciously lacerate anything they can find.

    5. Flush the toilet three or four times (ignore the thudding on the toilet seat and the hissing, this is normal). This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

    6. Have someone open the front or back door and ensure that there is no one between the toilet and the outside door (as this will result in their hospitalisation).

    7. Stand as far behind the toilet as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

    8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet like an electrocuted maniac, and run outside spitting and screeching, where he/she will sulk until dry.

    Edited by - angharad on 13 February 2003 5:57:34

    Edited by - angharad on 13 February 2003 6:7:36


    LOL...too funny!

    Angharad, I had something similar happen (not with the toilet) with my pet bird. She's a very curious creature and will inspect just about anything within her reach.

    I was preparing some water for making spaghetti. I filled the stainless steel pot almost full. The bird (Sunshine) was on my shoulder (not the song, silly) curiously looking down over my shoulder.

    Occasionally, I will have her hop on to my finger, and place her on one of her favourite perches. I go to the washroom for a moment, and I don' t know how long it took, but I returned to the kitchen to find something splashing around in the pot, and having a ball doing it.

    Sunshine was diving into the water, and rubbing the water under and over her feathers. I nearly died, because I thought she had hurt herself. But on the contrary, she was having the time of her life.

    Dumped the water, grabbed the bird, a towel, and proceeded to blow dry her (which she loves). And yes, the little monster, LOVES spaghetti.

    I'm sure a cat, under any circumstances would be quite a sight. That was hilarious Angharad.

  • Robdar


    Did the dog send you that note too? Evil dog.



  • Sirona

    ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh thats so funny!

    Thanks Angharad

  • wednesday

    my hubby, billy jack, once put one of our cats, in the shower with detergent poured on him. the cat had gotten car oil all over him, and was a mess. the cat, flung himself at the shower door and wailed . Our other cat sat outside the shower to show support for him. the cat was not harmed , (well maybe a little psychologically),and the oil came off.

    Actually i sae this on TV last night. There is now a laundry for dogs and cats. U put them in something that looks like a dryer, and like a car wash, water/soap jets out and cleans them. The pets did not look too happy.

  • Angharad

    When I was a kid my mum asked me to put away a bottle of cooking / vegetable oil, being about 6 or so I couldnt just put it away I had to shake it about a bit first on the way, unfortunately the lid flew off the bottle and the oil completely covered the cat, who then had to have a bath in the sink. The cat wasnt impressed and sulked for ages.

    Razor - glad your bird was ok and didnt get boiled !

    Edited by - angharad on 13 February 2003 7:53:55

  • Shakita

    Very funny!

    Mrs. Shakita

  • xjw_b12

    I think Brummie should use that as his profile pic. What do ya think Pete ?

  • Celia

    Poor cat

    Rayzorblade : what kind of bird is that ? I had a pet quail a few years ago, and he would jump up to the kitchen sink when I was doing the dishes. And after studying what I was doing for a while, he would jump into the soapy water and splash around.... I loved that bird...

  • ozziepost


    That cat looks like a certain someone from Star Wars!

    Ozzie (of the cool cat class)

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