Waking up to TTATT: Blessing or Curse?

by Jules Saturn 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Xanthippe
    Anybody else every think about this?

    Yeah in a sense, I have said on this forum I sometimes wish we'd faded slowly and kept my family but I'm just not like that, there isn't a deceitful bone in my body. I can't live a lie.

    Whenever I see a lie or a sham in this world it just screams at me. Advertising, politics, new age mumbo jumbo etc. There's a a lot if blue pill stuff out there.

    It's sad I agree but basically you are cleverer, more honest and braver than the generation before you. I don't know if it's a recessive gene or what but we are stuck with our intelligence and honesty. I think it's a blessing to answer your question, I'd hate to be stupid and shallow.

  • smiddy3

    J.S. would you really be happy living a lie and deceiving yourself for the rest of your life ? I don`t think so. Coming to a knowledge of TTATT ,one can never go back .Admittedly it is a big adjustment to come to terms with at first ,however over time (sometimes only months or sometimes years, it`s up to you ) it becomes so much easier .

    Don`t waste your life trying to please other people ,do what you want to do with your life it`s too short to waste trying to please other people because no matter what you do you never will.

    edit to add: With new friends non JW`s their is no need to acknowledge that you were ever a JW ,I never have and I have a lot of close worldly associates that I spend time with on my terms.

    Their is no need to disclose your life as a JW if you don`t want to.

    Just saying.

  • pale.emperor

    I remember one of my first posts on here called "Feeling sad after learning the truth about the truth".

    I was miserable as JW. I was raised in it, my entire family were JWs, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins... everyone. Yet i was very much alone. I had no friends because i just wast into this "fake joy" they're all doing. I was the only one that openly acknowledge that the door to door ministry is a drudge, a bore, a waste of time. No one seemed to be on my level even when i was a 100% devoted believer.

    I will always want the truth. No matter how painful, how hard or how sad. And i think it's important to always test to see if what you have is actually true. If more evidence and facts come to light investigate them. Dont ignore them.

  • punkofnice

    My gran used to say that she'd rather be slapped on the face than be told a lie.

    I know where you're coming from Jules. I guess I'm over that stage now after 7 years out.

    We live, we die, we won't be back in any afterlife. Controversially, there is no evidence for god. I'm glad to be able to know this truth now, even though it's not what I want to be 'truth'.

    Delusion is all well and good but it wastes your life. I still resent wasting most of mine in a filthy, disgusting stepford-like cult.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Many/most J.W's have invested every aspect of their lives in the cult, and will automatically respond, "Where else can we go," because although "built up on lies or half truths" certainly describes the org's teachings, it equally applies to Catholicism and Protestantism. However, from a strictly Biblical point of view, (not atheistic or evolutionist) not everything J.W.'s say is a falsehood. The highlighting of the opposition's scriptural errors (such as immortal soul, going to heaven/hell immediately at death) are what convinced many to turn apostate and leave "Christendom."

    J.W.'s don't/can't see any other Bible-based religion as a good alternative, so they make excuses and stick with what they know.

  • Vetiver

    The organization created a construct. You have purpose, you're blessed to know, "the Truth," possibly live forever and be the best you because your imperfect and broken. You're in, "The Truman Show," but nobody is actually watching it, but you leave that stage and I personally looked at my suits, literature and the calluses on my hand from carrying my briefcase so much. Could I be spiritually divorcing myself where there wasn't any? It was divorce for me because there was no love, but it was a long relationship.

    To use your analogy of the Matrix, remember what Morpheus tells Neo: " You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." It's hard to tear away from lies. Truth has a sobering effect mixed in with the hangover.

  • ttdtt

    Reg pill is very hard. I have some unexpected and life changing fallout that came about it. Very painful loosing your friends and identity as well.

    I had so much invested, and I am older, so not like you can start over completely .

    BUT - when I woke up - meetings made me literally sick, could not fake if.

    The RED pill was needed especially because of my Kids, They are young and I HAD to get them out of the cult before their lives were ruined, at any cost.

    And the cost is high.

  • Diogenesister
    TTATT The RED pill was needed especially because of my Kids, They are young and I HAD to get them out of the cult before their lives were ruined, at any cost.
    And the cost is high.

    I had to highlight this.

    Ttatt you are a beautiful, brave and good person.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    When I think of the Matrix, Neo was unsatisfied by the life he had in the Matrix. But when he left, it was hard. A whole way of life gone - Replaced with crummy food and uncomfortable living conditions. But once he found people he could rely on and trust, he got his life going again.

    I haven't found friends in the world and that is because I haven't pushed myself. I hate that I'm old and out of shape and have crummy coping skills.

    But I would never go back to the lies. I hate how they use people. They are worse than parasites because it is a thinking choice to take advantage of others.

    And like a previous poster said, I also mourn all of the dead in history that will never get another chance. Even if I didn't expect to be in paradise, I wanted my grandma who was the nicest sweetest person and was disabled most of her adult life, to be young and healthy again.

  • punkofnice
    dofp - I haven't found friends in the world and that is because I haven't pushed myself. I hate that I'm old and out of shape and have crummy coping skills.

    You and me both.

    At least I had some 'worldly(tm)' friends that I never let go of even when I was a jobo drone idiot.

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