Signs of a bad marriage counselor

by crownboy 11 Replies latest social humour

  • crownboy
    crownboy

    Pretty funny, IMO :

    The top 15 Signs That You Have Hired The Wrong Marriage Counselor

    1. Degree on the wall reads "Doctor of Swingology."
    2. Keeps repeating, "If you can't change course, you must divorce."
    3. "I'm afraid there's not much you can do with a penis that small."
    4. Her latest book: "Women Are From Venus, Men Are Lyin' Bastards"
    5. "Just shut up and screw" doesn't seem like very good advice.
    6. After you've earned enough "session points", you get to choose either a Louisville Slugger or a Tazer gun.
    7. When you and your spouse claim sexual incompatibility, he throws a couple of pillows on the floor and says, "Prove it."
    8. "Communication, schmunication - let's talk about 'backdoor love'..."
    9. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Dr. Ike Turner will see you now."
    10. You quickly discover that his motto, "Don't worry, be happy" is pretty much the extent of his knowledge of the English language.
    11. Always takes Hillary's side.
    12. In order to open the lines of communication, she begins the first session by hooking your genitals up to a car battery and tossing your wife the keys.
    13. Agrees with husband that a request to "honk on Bobo" is foreplay enough.
    14. "Mrs. Jones, I believe your husband is correct. You are a whiny bitch."

    15. Her last name has six hyphens.
  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    Funny crownboy!

    11. "I'm afraid there's not much you can do with a penis that small."

    I have to agree. Sorry, guys. Size DOES matter!!!! :)

    April

    Edited by - Simon on 10 February 2003 3:6:9

  • Xena
    Xena

    hhhmmm I don't see the problem with these myself.......

    Her latest book: "Women Are From Venus, Men Are Lyin' Bastards

    and

    In order to open the lines of communication, she begins the first session by hooking your genitals up to a car battery and tossing your wife the keys

    I especially like the last one

    Varooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  • crownboy
    crownboy

    Sorry, guys. Size DOES matter!!!! :)

    So that would explain why your kids are half black, Tatiana.

    Xena, if I ever meet you, I'll know not to piss you off.

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Hey, I'm with Tat and Xena on these...

    and...

    "I'm afraid there's not much you can do with a penis that small."

    Too right.

    and...

    "Just shut up and screw" doesn't seem like very good advice.

    Yes it is.

    Dana

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    Crownboy.....please believe me when I tell you, men are men, no matter what color! I've had relationships with men of different colors....and being black doesn't guarantee "anything" will be bigger!!!! :) LOL

    Varooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    Xena....you kill me!!!!! LOLOLOL

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    true, a man can be too small, and there isn't much he can do about it, since most of the advertisments that say they will enlarge a penis , are akin to smake oil therapy. Not even sure u can have surgery for that, except if a man can't get a erection, there are devices that can be put in surgically. A woman, can enlarge her brests , provided u have the cash.Doesn't seem fair.

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek
    I have to agree. Sorry, guys. Size DOES matter!!!! :)

    True, but if you've had kids, maybe it's not the guys who have a size problem!

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    wednesday...lots of men have enlargements done surgically, just like women. They even have their own magazine!

    http://www.penisenlargementmagazine.com/

    derek.....

    True, but if you've had kids, maybe it's not the guys who have a size problem!

    There are good exercises women can do after kids to "keep it tight". If you do these religiously, they really work.

    It's just that some things can't be "made up for" with oral sex. !!! LOL

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    very interesting links, according to the surgeon, the most that could be achieved with surgery would be a max of 2 inches.they did refer to some more natural methods that involve traction wherin they claim i/8 inch per month is possible.

    I'm glad i had my kids when the surgery called "a/p repair was still commonly done and paid for by insurance companies. Basically it lifts and tightens the entire area(it is all done internally). years ago it was called "daddy stitch" b/c it was done so daddy would be happy.

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