Loosing your Privleges and Scumbag elders
So 9 months before I started pioneering, I had a hot and heavy moment with this player witness who was just trying to string me along and talked to a lot of different girls. We made out and he grabbed my goodies a few times you know the regular stuff all teens do at least once. Anyways I never saw him again because when I refused to send him nudes he dropped me. Anyways after 6 months of pioneering and me rejecting him after he tries to come back, he all of a sudden develops this super guilty conscience, and decides that he must confess to the elders. He lied to me and told me he was just going to tell them we kissed, (what the hell is the point of that right?) and it ends up he told them everything. Then he blocks my number so I don't know whats coming lol. So I have to go through all this shit, and the elders are super sneaky and not telling me what he accused me of, and I'm not confessing anything, (it happened 1.5 years ago and it was none of their business anyways), so it keeps dragging on as they keep trying to get stuff out of me and I keep playing dumb. And then I read the elders manual, and it turns out I have a lot of power because I can just refuse to meet with them, especially since they have no proof. But then they LIE TO ME, and tell me that I have no choice I have to meet with my accuser. So I felt helpless and admit that he touched my boobs for about 5 seconds. Boom. Lost my Pioneering, which I was kind of relieved. What pisses me off is that they think that have the right to judge me as immoral and unclean, even though I prayed for forgivness and never saw him again, but because I didn't confess my dirty little secrets to them, none of it counts. Its like your relationship with Jehovah only works through them and the GB?? Um no I think not. Woke the hell up.
Think of it this way - even though the experience sucks, they did you a favour. Instead of wasting the rest of your life on their BS, you woke up to the reality that there is no god or holy spirit involved, just a bunch of grubby men wanting to ask a girl about an early sexual encounter as though you have anything to answer to them for.
Run, don't walk, away from it all. Never look back.
Sorry you're going through this, but you need to know the reality of the situation: You're in a cult.
Forgiveness from Jehovah is not relevant to the elders. This organization is about one thing and one thing only: control.
Your spirituality is a private matter. You are absolutely right when you say that there a facts about your life that are "none of [the elders] business." But as long as you remain in this religion and allow them to exercise authority over you, they will continue to try to control you and overstep appropriate boundaries.
It might be hard for you to do at this point, but this experience might have prepared you to take the next step in your spiritual growth and personal freedom. Leave this religion. It's a cult!
Privileges schmivleges. Beyond the touching the boobs, you don't have to say anymore.
Yes, they can take away such a privilege just based on an accusation and your denial to meet and clear it up, or based on your confirmation of the accusation. I think you already came to terms with losing your pioneer status and will be fine with that.
If you desire to avoid a judicial committee, you can deny anything else happened. No matter what the guy says, you say "HE WISHES THAT HAPPENED." Stick to your guns with "I never saw him again and went straight to Jehovah with this."
You may never get past the judgement of the elders and the whispering. So make what you will of it and get on with your life. I hope the best for you.
addison: And then I read the elders manual...
You had access to the elders manual? While you were "in"? Where did you find that? How did you manage to get your hands on a copy? You are a female and you touched the sacred book?
Sorry that you are going through this. Like some said above, "get out." Run don't walk.
We came clean with all of our friends and family. This is an abusive, destructive, controlling cult. It is such a relief to be free from it.
Don't say another word to the Elders or your accuser. If they continue to bother you, let them know you are considering consulting an attorney. The Elders are not there to help you, they are wolves in sheeps clothing. Dirty old men who want to hear to details of your sex life.
Don't say another word to the Elders or your accuser.
REFUSE TO MEET WITH THIS ASSHOLE. Compare it to having to face your rapist.
You've already said too much. The response to this should have been to DENY DENY DENY! And that should be what you do towards any other accusations. This asshole must be trying to ruin your reputation.
If you want to avoid DF and "save face" for family and friends -- If you get publicly or privately reproved, they will likely put "restrictions" on you, ie, no commenting, no aux pioneering (they can't do much more to a woman). Play the game until the restrictions are "removed". Ask every month about getting them removed. Once that is said and done (and it will prob take 6 months if you are "exemplary") then move to a new Cong and begin your "fade" (if that's what you want to do). If you move BEFORE restrictions are lifted then the details follow you in a letter to the new Cong (and you might want to avoid that), However if the Elders in your existing Cong are stubborn about removing the restrictions, then by changing Congs to take it out of their control as the new Cong Elders now decide.
Remember, DENY DENY DENY any new accusations!
Let's just think about that again. Pioneering is a "privilege". Wasting your time knocking on doors trying ro save them from Armageddon...because talking ro people directly about religion uninvited at their doors is the best way to open their minds...haha!
They just did you a giant favor. You're free now from your so called privilege. You sound like a sharp girl. Too sharp to be wasting your life peddling a dying religion.
Addison - "...never saw him again because when I refused to send him nudes he dropped me..."
Little lady, this guy is a grade-A asshole.
You are so better off.
Addison - "...they LIED TO ME..."
Damn, girl, you just skipped a whole shit-ton of steps.
When I first started to fade, it still took effort just to use the words "mistaken" or "in error".
It was fucking years before I could even say the Org was "wrong", let alone "lied".
Good for you.