by SpunkedTeen 20 Replies latest jw friends
I dont think ill be able to leave the organization,you see i have no close friends in or outside the jws and my entire family is part of the cult,if i leave my mom and the rest of my family will be heartbroken and i dont want to be the reason they are hurt. Im not particularly close to any of my family members but i still care for them
I could really use some advice because i have no one else to turn too.
Start by forcing yourself to make friends with non-JWs (aka normals) and start expanding your support network. This is huge. Once you feel comfortable and supported by true friends that appreciate you for who you are not what you (claim to) believe you'll feel much better about leaving the cult if that's what you decide to do. It may take a while, but it's worth it to develop true, genuine friendships.
Also, I think you need to give yourself permission to live your own life. If someone is hurt because you want to live a happy life with integrity, then I would assert that they're the ones that are behaving unethically. By trying to manipulate you through emotional appeals into abandoning your sense of self, they are absolutely in the wrong. In this case, your family has been themselves manipulated by an unethical organization. Your leaving will NOT be the reason they are hurt. The reason for the pain here rests solely with the watchtower society, not you.
It's entirely possible that leaving may in fact be the purest expression of your care for your family. You've had the strength to see through the lies of the cult and they haven't yet gotten there. Would it be caring to continue to tacitly endorse their exploitation by remaining? Or would it be more caring to set an example for them by leaving and living a happy life? You never know what will happen.
I'm not trying to make your decision for you here, just trying to make the point that we live in a morally ambiguous world because we can never fully know the future results of our actions. In that sort of an environment I think the only thing that can be expected of anyone is that they do their best to do the right thing while simultaneously seeking to create a happy life for themselves.
Good luck SpunkedTeen. It's never easy but you were given really good advice here. If you feel like you are just too stressed out you should see if you can get some counseling or other professional advice. I think professionals can really help us work through tough situations while maintaining our sanity.
Good luck!
I would add that you are really young and there is plenty of time - don't give up on yourself leading a full and happy life on your terms in the future. Many teens are reliant on their families for their physical wellbeing and even their identity to some extent. All that will lessen with time.
As already said by earlier post I would focus on a support network - friends, collegues, teachers - and some type of education. If it's going to be a problem reserve all your strength for that fight first, even making concessions to your parents in other areas if you have to but get that education if you can you will never regret it.
I don't know how old you are; I'm assuming you're a teenager by your name.
If you're so inclined, get an education in something you really like. Your education will work well with a fade since it will take up most of your time. Your mother might not like it but at least she won't feel like you've gone apostate.
Such an education will put you in a position to make friends that share your interests.
Hi SpunkedTeen. We sure understand your situation. I would offer to you not to make any quick decisions. In the mean time, find a hobbie, or career, something that interests you. Slowly start spending time pursuing it. It will feed your soul and help you figure out what you want to do with your life so you can plan it. Along the way you may find some friends. Nothing happens overnight. But life is long, and there is a lot you can do right now while in your situation.
When you find something you love, it will give you strength down the road to make the decisions you have to make for what is best for you and your life.
I wish you strength for the journey. It will all be worth it. I promise.
I see at least three great recommendations:
1) You already know the answer. If you want stay in, stay.
2) Start by forcing yourself to make friends with non-JWs (aka normals) and start expanding your support network.
3) but get that education if you can you will never regret it.
Hang in there for awhile and "fake it" for the folks. It won't kill you. They really believe they are giving you the greatest gift of all by giving you The Troof. (I did.) There is some good within most Congs. At least as "good" of people as you'll find in the world (moral and sincere) -- they are just deluded by the smoke & mirrors of WTB&T$. Just don't let it screw up your entire life by following/worshiping the GB and all they say because they won't feed you or care for you when you're broke. They'll just try to squeeze more $$$. And, by the way, The End(TM) is not right around the corner. Well, at least not anymore than it has been for the past 130 years.
GO TO SCHOOL! Nothing replaces getting a good education. It's the difference between struggling all your life and having the ability to succeed and get ahead.
Good luck,
Doc
The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!
