About Popularity

Farkel

It's evident that certain people just don't like me, and it's evident that certain people, er, despise me.

Kewl!

In my life I've noticed that the people who everyone likes, never have any close friends, because they never share themselves, and they never dispute idiocy. Everyone "likes" them, but those people have no one who "cares" about them. There is a difference.

Once one shares her/his deepest, ugliest, saddest secrets (along with the wonderful and great and inspiring moments in that same life) with another human being, a bond is made. The sharer becomes vulnerable and the sharee realizes he or she is not alone, because likely the sharee has those same or similar deepest, ugliest, saddest secrets that the sharee didn't feel safe to share.

This is how bonds are made between humans. Humans are not as simplistic as we all try to pretend to be. We are wonderful, great, caring, selfish, ugly, stupid, smart and simplistic. That's just how we are. Get used to it.

If you are unwilling to share youself, no matter how ugly it might be, you are a poser, and a phony, and every human who you think is your "friend" won't trust you, because they know you are holding back the truth about your humanity. Yeah, they might "like" your company, but they will never trust you completely. Real friendship is about complete trust, no matter how ugly. Some people never learn this and they die without any real friends.

If you are willing to share those things, magic can happen in your life, and you just might become popular!

That's about it about that!

Farkel, stepping off the soapbox and waiting for the bottom-feeders to do their thing

dottie

I whole heartedly agree

Dottie...of the NOT a bottom feeder class but values friendship immensely class

Lost Diamond

Yeah, they might "like" your company, but they will never trust you completely. Real friendship is about complete trust, no matter how ugly. Some people never learn this and they die without any real friends.

Farkel,

I don't post much, but I'd have to say I enjoy your posts very much....and may I mention Dave's too? I have to agree with your statement above. You just described me. I think some people "like" my company, but they don't really "know" me. I don't trust too many people, so I am very careful with whom I share my deepest feelings and emotions. There are and have been just a handful of people who I have been able to do this with in my life. It is sometimes a sad situation, but It's self-perservation on my part. The close friends who I do feel a strong bond with are irreplacable and I will always hold a very special place in my heart for them.....they are indeed too few of them. There is absolutley nothing I wouldn't do for them!

For this reason, I believe, some of us do not post or share our deepest feelings here. I for one do not feel I "know" everybody here well enough to open up to, to share my soul and heart with. But when I do, they are my dear friends for life and I will love them unconditionally!

I'm not about poplularity....I'm about truthfulness and loyalty.

Bernadine

Big Tex

I've never been popular, but I am a bottom feeder, so I'm probably not a good one to respond to this thread, but:

One thing that has always attracted me to this forum is the ability to say whatever I want, whenever I want and however I want. That has led me to say things here that I never have to anyone, except my therapist. I've talked about an ugly past and I've found it cathartic and healing. At first I felt a bit like the Phantom of the Opera taking off his mask and waiting for someone to scream and recoil.

I don't know if it's because of the distance, since this is an Internet forum, or becuse of shared experiences, or if I'm just ready but I've felt freer (more free?) here to be who I am. That hasn't been the case for me in a long, long time. In the words of the great Popeye: "I yam what I yam and that's all I yam."

Farkel

Lost Diamond,

Thank you for sharing!

: I don't trust too many people, so I am very careful with whom I share my deepest feelings and emotions. There are and have been just a handful of people who I have been able to do this with in my life. It is sometimes a sad situation, but It's self-perservation on my part.

I wasn't necessarily talking about sharing our personal stuff on this board. Doing this is risky. There are lots of bottom-feeding scumbags just waiting to pounce on that stuff. Somehow honesty that shows human vulnerability really pisses off the loser bottom-feeding scumbags, and I cannot understand why.

I was more concerned with sharing our stuff in the real world. You know: the world where we actually operate on a daily basis with real, breathing humans face-to-face.

I did not suggest that anyone should share their deepest feelings with everyone. (See my comments about bottom-feeding scumbags above.)

Always use discretion, but when you think the human you are with is not one of those scumbags I mentioned, take the chance. If they are a scumbag, they would have found another way to vilify you, anyway. If they are not a scumbag, you might have just gained a best friend for life!

Life is tricky, and it ain't simple

I wish you well.

Farkel

RAYZORBLADE

Farkel, well put.

I have no complaints, I have enjoyed your posts thus far.

You've also been decent and kind enough to respond to my e-mail, which I appreciate.

Anyone who looks like Alfred E. Newman, is pretty hip in my books .

WildHorses

Well said Doug.

I have more to add but at the moment I am so sleepy, what I typed wouldn't make much sense, so, I will write more when I get home from work tomorrow.

Good night.

onacruse

Farkel:

If you are unwilling to share youself, no matter how ugly it might be, you are a poser, and a phony, and every human who you think is your "friend" won't trust you, because they know you are holding back the truth about your humanity.

Right on the mark! Our real lives have a lot of ugliness, and anybody who posts as if their lives have been picture perfect are deceiving only themselves. fwiw, that's one of the things that I respect about you...you are here, real, now, warts and farts and all.

LostDiamond and BigTex, same for you both (LOL, hmmmm...does that sound right?)

Craig

Mac

I was going to reply but, thought it not fair, knowing how opinion would be swayed by virtue of the respect and admiration that I command!!! Back....all of you, get back!

mac

Guest 77

Friendship is when a friend will be with you through thick and thin. Its a bond that many people cannot relate to because they have no 'genuine' friends. I have plenty of acquaintances but friends are my wife and family.

I'm going to relate this story once again, and and then ask yourself, what would I have done. One day, while waiting at a counter at a super market, I just so happen to look down on the floor and picked up this paper. This wrapped paper contained $75.00 and a visa bill. Since nobody was around, I checked to see the address and I noticed the address of the bank. The bank was just a few blocks away, and so I went to the bank to pay the bill and spoke to the manager. The manager calls the husband at work and explains the situation. I could hear the husband yelling over the phone. He was pissed off at his wife for losing the money. The bank manager had a puzzled look while speaking to the husband. The man hung up and NEVER thanked me for not only finding the cash but going out of my way to pay his visa bill. Tell me, how do you think I felt? To this day, I've wondered how this man treated his wife when he got home.

Here's another one. A bank teller cashed my cheque and gave me an extra two hundred dollars. I asked her to count the money again. She said, everything is OK. I insisted that she count the money again, again she said, everything is OK. I then said, now, look at the cheque and then count the money you gave me. I didn't tell her she made a mistake, I let her figure it out. When she figured it out, her eyes lit up and her faced went red! Yes, I did get a thank you, but she was still in shock. I've told this experience to a number of people and they said, I would have walked out with the money! Shock waves went through my body when I heard this. These people never think in terms it could have been them.

Now, I don't know these people from a hole in the wall, I didn't have to be a 'personal' friend to do these acts, I did what comes natural. Friends, acquaintance and whatever you want to call them also means keeping out tongues in check! Should we have to fight and argue with each other to make friends? Friends do not use sharp and demeaning remarks. I'm going to close with a comment that I heard many moons ago, "He that talks to you about others, will talk about you". Do 'genuine' friends do that?

Guest 77

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