The Heartless JW

by babygirl30 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon
    Sounds like my mum too. She puts her cult and the sayings of some old farts she'll never meet ahead of me, my wife, her grandchildren. basically any humanity.
  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    Oh how hurtful, so brutal. And they don't even know it! - that's the thing! O.O

    Yet, in her cold-seeming, cult-clouded mind, she did voice the hope that you "take care of yourself."

    I believe this part is where you can find comfort from your mom.... Her sentence, expressed, is the verbal part of her soul voicing herself to you, despite her cult indoctrination..... "Take care of yourself..." (Is it possible to allow one part of your mind to hear it from her heart, expressed in this way: "oh no! Please, take care of yourself.... Oh I hope you do take care of yourself....") and then the dub-brain would stop her from saying anymore.

    You see, I too, was one of those cold, brutally harsh, horrid horrid monster-ized, deluded and TOTALY indoctrinated Dubbies!! And I believed the lies and bullshits with my whole heart, soul, mind, and goddamn strength. (Sorry, this religion really brings out all my urges to swear now, which I had suppressed for so many decades! )

    You see, I am an older lady now, in my fifties, perhaps the same age as your mom... and I got hood-winked into this religion when I was around 20.... A very vulnerable time in my life... And I grabbed it and I totally believed "the truth" ... And Thought I was actually being loving and loyal and faithful and all that crap when I too complied with their harsh and horrible shunning.

    I was so so so so so blinded and believing. I believed them totally, and that is so scary a thought to me, that I blindly turned my whole thoughts and life over to them. It really gives me the heebie jeebies now because THEY DON'T KNOW JUST HOW F**KING DELUDED, BRAINWASHED, AND HURTFUL -- HORRIBLY HURTFUL -- THEY ARE. They cannot see it. (-- and perhaps *this* is what will make it possible for you to eventually and hopefully forgive her if and when she can ever see through the lies....)

    Though I don't believe the bible any more, the scripture, "Father, forgive them, they know naught what they do." applies when you're dealing with a totally indoctrinated JW-drone....

    It hurts, yes, it hurts so much, and I am so sorry you are dealing with these terrible things all at once -- but do trust that there are moments still of grace and beauty and good things in our life too... That within the storms and shadows and fright, there are calm things and beautiful things, and still funny and cute things, and life and food and friends, and hopefully some family..... And I do hope you have pools of friendship available for you.... And know that you need not walk alone on this journey... With or, most likely, without your mom, you will get through this.

  • babygirl30

    This is the same woman who I saw at my cousins funeral and she commented to my aunt that I "got really big" and claimed she didnt recognize me! So now that I finally know WHY I am so big (thyroid autoimmune disease) - she acts like she doesnt care. I take that back. It isnt an act. It is who she is now...a heartless JW.

    It's my own fault for reaching out. I KNOW better!!! I set myself up for this, and as expected, got let down. So really, the blame is mine. After dealing with her and my fathers bullshit all these years and ignoring me as if I dont exist, I have to admit that her response cut deep! But I am calm enough now to rationalize her behavior and see her cultish ways.

  • brandnew
    brandnew sad. Im sorry about your health. Please remember that you are very important. Parents who are brainwashed in this cult, ...lose alot of their needed main one is compassion. feels good.☺ have friends here.

  • babygirl30
    I have to thank each of you for responded, let alone in kind! I sat here with the phone in my hand crying...letting it all sink in. Then I got on this site and purged it - I had to. You can't make this shit UP!!! People would never understand the cruelty of having a parent disregard you when you are at a low point. I hear stories everyday at work of how this person hung out with their mom, or this person went on vacation with their parents...and in my head, I want that too. And its retarded to have to feel "left out" because my parents follow a cult.
  • ToesUp


    This is NOT your fault. Don't blame yourself. Your mother doesn't deserve you. Everyone needs and deserves love, especially from our parents. Hang in there!

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Grrrrrr..... so sorry your mom treats you like that! I would not have done so to my child even if I was a JW and they were DF'd. It seems that there are treatments to help you with your condition, hugs to you, grrrrrrs to your mom ;-)

    PS: I am not DF'd, I just don't go to meetings, and wished that Candace Conti would win her court trial so that the WT would change it's policies, and my mom treats me as if I am DF'd. Very controlled by the Borg.

  • LisaRose
    It's my own fault for reaching out. I KNOW better!!! I set myself up for this, and as expected, got let down. So really, the blame is mine.

    It's not wrong to hope your mom would care that you have a serious illness, so don't beat yourself up for thinking that, any decent parent should have cared, no matter what.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    I'm so sorry, babygirl, for what you're having to endure.

    Those of us who are ill but have become inactive face similar. The heartless mantra, "If he dies before Armageddon, Jehovah may remember him in the resurrection," is a cop out for help and sympathy we need NOW!

    Our alleged falling from favor with Jehovah (how do they know that?) disqualifies us from the basic help JWs could render. It ends up that we get care from "worldly" people.

    I love those caring, helpful, sympathetic, hands-on "worldly" people!

    Love and blessings, Dear One.


  • compound complex
    compound complex
    Edited to add: Not all JWs are unkind or unhelpful. We all know that. Some have been good to me in time of need.

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