I've Lost My Faith

by jst2laws 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • onacruse

    jst2: In all honesty, I have to say I was totally credulous about 1975. I'd read a lot of Russell's and Rutherford's stuff, and knew enough WTS history about 1914 and 1925 to have the hairs on the back of my neck go up. I'd been to Bethel and seen first-hand that the WTS was not what I was raised to think it was. But for 5 more years I deliberately chose to minimize that clear and personal evidence (for what I thought at the time was every good reason) and plow full speed ahead along with the bandwagon. And, with a brief hiatus, after that for another 20 years, I was totally credulous about the WTS in general, again minimizing the successive waves of changing doctrine and conflicted policy of the Society. Even the "Jehovah will make it better" line didn't sell me. Boy, I didn't know the sand I was sticking my head into went so deep.

    So, now, I see that I've only lost my credulity. My faith is stronger than it's ever been, because what I believe or don't believe is now based on the best available evidence I can find. I no longer have any reason to turn away from demonstrable facts, or to conform to group-think in spite of my misgivings. Also, I no longer have a compulsion to "have an answer" at any cost...if I don't have an answer yet, then so be it. Faith is not having the answers, it's the honest and open quest for those answers, based on the best available evidence.


    Edited by - onacruse on 2 February 2003 23:11:19

  • Farkel


    Two or maybe even three years ago (I forget the timetable), I never DREAMED you would be thinking these thoughts and writing these thoughts. You are definitely on your path and a new adventure, and I wish you and Joy the best in that journey. It's ALL about the journey!

    I'm amazed!

    Farkel, breathless

  • Introspection

    I would say it's not even just a loss of faith in the organization, it's also faith in beliefs. It seems to me that first you put faith in the belief that this group of men is the faithful and discreet slave, then you actually put your faith in those men. What people seem to revert back to is a faith in some kind of belief, asking the question "Well what do I believe now??" It's always about something 'out there', but I think most people will agree that spirituality is about what's 'in here'. It's a good time to stop and look inside yourself.

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