I've Lost My Faith

by jst2laws 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • jst2laws

    We occasionally get wind of new lies being spread about us in our old JW community. Having 'served' in fourteen different congregations in six states often serving where the 'need is great', one decade in the fulltime work and nearly two decades as a PO, it appears are current status with the organization is causing a bit of a scandal.

    Yesterday we received a phone call from an old friend at Bethel. The only thing that surprised me more than the fact that he called was that he had not yet heard of our new status. After all, we let the JW world know we were marching for silent lambs in September and walked within about 100 feet of his administrative office ( he is a director of one of the many WT corporations ). We chatted briefly about family and old friends and ended with a commitment to talk again soon. I gave him a clue that things had changed with us but he did not pick up on it. One way or another he is soon to discover what that change was.


    Really, the faith we had we have lost. To our old witness friends we have lost the battle of the "fine fight of the faith". When a witness in long time good standing 'falls away' it is clear they have lost the battle of their faith. But it does not mean we have lost our spirituality. What the JW's cannot imagine is spirituality with out WT conformity. And this is because their FAITH IS IN THE ORGANIZATION, NOT IN GOD.

    A JW will say "how can you say that? My faith is in Jehovah and the Bible". The fact is this is a group faith contingent on an institution. The institution decides what we believe, claiming they are lead by God. They then instruct the faithful as to what is truth (present truth). I am confident all of us had what were called 'doubts'. This 'faith' we claimed required us to dismiss what we did not believe (put aside doubts) in favor of our faith that God was directing the 'organization. Thus my faith was not in what I believed about God but in what the WT told me to believe because I had FAITH IN THE ORGANIZATION.

    This faith has been lost. Faith that the ORGANIZATION lead by men but directed by God has PROVEN TO BE AN ILLUSION. However this loss of faith is obviously not a spiritual problem but a step forward. Faith in an organization of men while claiming to be lead by God is still faith in men.

    "Do not put YOUR trust in nobles, Nor in the son of earthling man, to whom no salvation belongs" psalm 146:3

    Have you lost that faith? Good for you. I wish my old friends could realize that faith in men claiming to be 'noble' is the only faith I have lost, and the freedom is wonderful.


    Edited by - Jst2laws on 2 February 2003 14:32:52

  • Makena1

    Jst2Laws - good post and well said!

    I particularly agree and can relate to this statement: . Faith that the ORGANIZATION lead by men but directed by God has PROVEN TO BE AN ILLUSION. However this loss of faith is obviously not a spiritual problem but a step forward. Faith in an organization of men while claiming to be lead by God is still faith in men.

    Looking forward to meeting up with you folks again soon!

    All best,

    Mak and Sabine

  • LyinEyes

    I really enjoyed reading this thread, it gave me a different perspective on my own loss of faith.

    I have been very bitter towards the WT for taking my faith and trust away. For so long I was so bought into it all and trusted everything they ever said.When the lies and other things became apparent to me, I felt such loss, I still do .

    I can grateful to have found out the truth about the WT, and it is better to know the truth than to walk blindly with the wrong religion. But I do miss my faith, because I can say that it did help me thru troubled times, and it basically filled a spiritual need I had, and still need.

    I have only been out a little over a year, and I am working on trying to find what I beleive and I am working on getting my faith back. I guess it is just something that will come in time, but I havent lost every bit of my faith I guess, because somewhere deep down , I feel something is there.

  • Brummie

    Howdy Jst2laws, was thinking about you earlier and wondering how you were, unless I missed your posts.

    Very good post by the way, I can relate to it 100%, I lost that kind of faith and am very pleased and liberated by losing it, what strikes me now, looking back, is how painful it can be to lose that worthless kind of faith and how our loyalty towards these men is sometimes stronger than our ability to let go of them. How can something so empty have us holding on to it with both hands? Its like we were grasping nothing and refusing to let it go.

    Ah well, now't stranger that folk.

    Thanks again for sharing some great thoughts.


  • Parousia

    Well said jst2laws!

    When I "lost my faith" my parents accused me of never having believed in God at all. I assured them that I most definitely still do believe in God and the Bible, but they can't separate the two (org. from God) in their minds. My Mom said she's afraid to talk about it because it could mean "life or death" to her. They are held captive by fear.

    I am glad I'm not a captive anymore, but the grief and frustration for them continues....

  • ashitaka


    I no longer believe in God, but maybe that's because of my age.

    I agree without, and have had people say, "I know that the congregation is corrupt, but I go for Jehovah, not for the people there."

    Now, that's a terrible argument to fight. People associate JWs with God, and separating the two is possibly the hardest thing to do as an outsider.

    I wish I had a way how to....I really don't want to lose my bro-in-law and sister to the gaping maw that is the org.


  • Mulan

    Great post. I think you hit the nail on the head for the way most of us feel now.

    I lost all faith, in religion, in God, in all of it, when the WT crumbled in my mind and heart. Gradually some faith is coming back...............but it's still hazy for me.

    Hug Joy for me. I've been so busy lately, haven't had much time here or emailing.

  • bigred

    I received the following, in an email from a friend recently, and thought it provided some food for thought:

    "The last few years has confirmed for me that most Witnesses (like most other sectarians) are little different than avowed deists, when it comes right down to it. Most Witnesses have but a vague undefined idea of God with no real firsthand conviction about the Bible and its testimony. Like other sects with their inherent flaws and deficiencies, the JW sect has been a poor and unauthorized tutor leading onlysome to Christ. The unfortunate fact seems to be that not many JWs are genuine Christians, and thus its no surprise that many who unplug from the organization walk away not esteeming Christian principles like the following:

    So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

    Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

    Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

    Edited by - bigred on 2 February 2003 15:54:47

  • ISP

    Well........I can agree with jst2laws. I lost my faith in WTdom a while back. I clung onto some idea that i could also be 'spiritual' but after further research I take the view that there was very little correct in what the WT put forward.

    I have little official 'spirituality' but I have some common sense.


  • onacruse

    jst2, your thoughts cut right to the core of the difference between faith and credulity. Take the classic definition of faith (Heb. 11:1) as an example, "the assured expectation" and the "evident demonstration." Even if taken metaphorically, that whole chapter is a list of actual events that faithful men and women of Jewish history personally experienced, and it was the outworking of their faith in real life that was the measured the validity of their faith. If Daniel and his friends were vaporized in Nebuchadnezzar's furnace, well, that would have said alot about whether they had faith or credulity, eh?

    So today, a person has really only lost their credulity when they finally accept the evidence right in front of their eyes, what they have seen happen to other people and in/to the organization.

    And only the credulous find it impossible to accept that real faith can continue, and in fact, just begins to flourish, when the scales of self-deception fall from one's eye.


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