Disassociating myself ...

by dedalus 45 Replies latest jw experiences

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  dedalus

  "Inactivity" was the catchword -- yes, "their" catchword -- with which I kept certain family members in my life more fully than they'll be now. It has come to feel phoney, now that my in-laws have been disfellowshipped. So I'm out, too. It feels good, right for my situation and where I am. I don't give a shit how it affects the elders or the organization -- whether they rejoice or mourn is immaterial to me.

  In a way, what you and some other posters have suggested would, for me anyway, only enslave me more to the organization, since I'd have to keep my ears open to what they may be saying, and perhaps consult an attorney, or else write more, longer letters threatening them with something I have no desire to do. For you, my situation is an abstract problem to be "solved" with clever strategy -- for me, it's an actual, complex thing I've lived with for my entire life and am ending in the way that brings me the greatest peace. I don't think that my solution (DA) is a joke just because the terminology isn't mine.

  Dedalus
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  rem

  I used to think that being innactive and under cover was the best way, and it was the best way for me for a while, but after some time (for some people) it just gets old and annoying and becomes a waste of time. DA'ing is just an efficient way to say "I don't want to have anything to do with your shitty religion anymore" to the elders in their own language. Once you do that, there's no more spying or early morning visits. It's over, and it helps some people to move on.

  I also agree that not DA'ing and playing the innactive game can possibly keep you tied down by the Watchtower because in that situation you are always worried about your status and how to keep it. By DA'ing you can move on and not care about whatever 'gossip' is being spread about you... (most of) those people mean absolutely nothing to you anymore.

  I see it the same way as writing a letter to discontinue your association with Amway or whatever. I would probably just stop attending meetings or whatever, but if I were continually hounded by other members or constantly sent Amway literature/junk mail, I'd just send a quick letter off to end it and get them out of my life. That might make some Amway members extremely giddy, but I wouldn't give a shit.

  rem
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  Maverick

  I agree that taking action in this case does add closuer. And whether it is baptism nullification, disassociation or letting them disfellowship you is a personal choice. Fading-away can work for a time.It is nonconfrontational. It acts as a stepping stone that leaves the door open for the slave to run back to his master. Even a wicked one like the GB looks comforting to a person who has been institutionalized. It does make closure a little nebulous. But hey if you move to Australia or someplace like that it is probably enough! Why should a person have to hide? To wonder or worry about this poor bunch of sheep. They are the ones who are the slaves and they admit it! We are not the apostates. Do any of you claim to be God's only channel on Earth. Do any of you insert loyalty to you as proof of loyalty to God and His Son? Would you help and render aid to any slave if you saw he was in need? Do whatever it takes to free yourselves of the control you allowed yourselves to be put under. And yes dadalus, we allowed yourselves to be controlled. We cannot blame it on anyone else. But let's work on the solution, let's focus on healing, let's be adults and move forward. After all, we are free now. Maverick
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  dedalus

  And yes dadalus, we allowed yourselves to be controlled. We cannot blame it on anyone else.

  Your confusing misuse of pronouns aside, I don't think I ever blamed my life, or whatever "it" refers to, on someone or something else.

  Dedalus
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  Maverick

  Dear Dedalus: I made a typo, I include myself, it should have read "ourselves". The it is the allowing ourselves to be controlled. And I know I blamed the GB and their Society. But maybe you didn't. Maverick
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  dedalus

  Maverick,

  Okay, cool.

  Dedalus