Disassociating myself ...

by dedalus 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • teejay
    teejay
    I was a teaching fellow at Boston College, a position for which I was paid $650 a month.


    Now, you have to admit that "a certified writing tutor and a teaching fellow in the English department of a top-tier university" reads a bit differently than "I was paid $650 a month." I think that was your intent -- to blow your own horn while 'putting me in my place.' Cool. I just thought your comments (you were the first to respond in the "essay for Farkel" thread and did again soon after with increased venom) were unnecessarily cruel. I *still* think that, but that's me.

    You weren't my student back then, so I was never concerned with nurturing your academic development.

    I would have never guessed! It's good that I gave your comments all the thought they deserved or else I would have considered giving my academic career a rest.

    ... fellowships are, by their definition, temporary positions. Evidently you don't know this.

    You're right, I didn't. I do now. The next time I hear/read someone "boast" that they are a "teaching fellow in the English department of a top-tier university," I will be even less-impressed than when I first read it.

    Teaching fellowships are characterized by their complete and utter lack of "professional status" -- or do you even know what that phrase means?

    I think so.

    I explained the changes in my life in this very thread, or didn't you read it?

    No, I didn't.

    ... what's the point of all this in relation to the topic of my thread?

    Nothing. I thought it was clear. My questions involve YOU and I was just curious. I thought I said.

    How are my career choices more "stunning" than my sick relative being disrespected by arrogant men?

    "Arrogant men" appear in many forms, often outside the religious sphere.

    I suggest you go rent a copy of Finding Forrester.

    I've seen the movie more than once at the theater and own a copy on DVD. One of top five best movies I've ever seen, for many reasons. Funny that you mention it, though. Your introduction to me in that earlier thread -- particularly the cruelty you showed toward my flawed writing -- reminded me of one of the characters in the film. Bet you can't guess which one.
  • minimus
    minimus

    Dedalus, I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. I am constantly reminded of one of our fellow poster's comments on disassasociation. JT has mentioned that this concept was created by the boys in Bethel and it was a brilliant stroke of genius for the lawyers and Service Dept. He has said many times that disassociating yourself is something that you should seriously consider. Why make it easy for the elders and the Society to make YOU do the procedure? Why not let THEM take action against YOU? You may even have some later opportunity to go after them, legally........Whatever, your decision is, I respect that you must do what you have to do. Just consider your options.

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    I explained the changes in my life in this very thread, or didn't you read it?

    No, I didn't.

    Because you didn't read it, you missed the part where I admitted I had been insensitive toward you, and also the part where I apologized, attempting as I did so to inject some humor into the conflict between us. I can only repeat that yes, I was insensitive back then, all that time ago, and yes, I wish I hadn't been.

    Other than that, there's nothing more to say. You admit that you were ignorant about what a teaching fellow is, so how can you say that I was misleading you? That was my title. What was I supposed to call myself? I was also a certified writing tutor, the result of a lot of work and experience. To repeat myself one last time, the only reason I introduced that information into the thread you mention nearly a year and a half ago is because you asked about credentials. So I gave mine. It wasn't boasting or arrogance -- you, as I recall, were the one criticizing essays by other posters in the first place.

    It's good that I gave your comments all the thought they deserved or else I would have considered giving my academic career a rest.

    Is that why you're blustering on and on about it now, so long after the event that I'd forgotten it?

    If you had been my student back then, I would have responded more encouragingly than I did as a fellow poster. We behave differently online because of the artificiality of this social environment, the anonymity with which we all interact. If you think you have me figured out and pigeonholed on the basis of insensitive remarks for which I've (three times!) expressed regret, you're wrong.

    Dedalus

    P.S. I hated Finding Forrester.

    Edited by - dedalus on 2 February 2003 17:25:13

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    I appreciate what you're saying, Minimus. In fact, I once viewed it that way -- that I wasn't going to disassociate myself, ever, because that would be in some way an acknowledgement of the structure I was rejecting. In this situation, though, I really wouldn't be very happy with myself if I remained inactive -- I was doing the same thing my in-laws were doing, in the very same house, and the only reason I might dodge the bullet this time is because my name isn't on the mortgage.

    Plus, I'm tired to thinking about dodging bullets to keep myself "in" with certain family members. If I'm going to raise my daughter celebrating her birthdays and all of the holidays, I don't want to give a second thought to what might happen if. You know what I mean?

    Finally, I do feel that this way I'm making an active decision, rather than a passive one, and that matters to me, too.

    Not to say you don't make a really good point -- you do. I guess it just depends on your circumstances.

    Dedalus

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Dedalus,

    From one who has been at the bottom-of-the-barrel in recent times, I can appreciate at least some of what you are going through. I loved your DA letter and your reasons for writing it. It amounts to, "I'm done with you, now stay the hell out of my life." Rather than giving them the satisfaction of knowing what you really think of them, you've forced them to guess at it. Their conduct at your door was vile and reprehensible. They deserved to be sent to hell by you.

    Farkel

  • teejay
    teejay
    I hated Finding Forrester.

    Nice.

    Waiting to make your edit that way after first posting what you did was very clever, some might say. Puts your whole 'whoa is me' thread into perspective. Then again, your modus operandi reconnects some with the ded we always knew.

    That you hated the movie comes as no surprise, really. I could already see why you would hate it ... on several levels. Outside of that, life tends to give us what we deserve, I believe. Call it god or fate. It's why I liked Finding Forester.

    p.s. And to think that I was stoopid enough to even consider sending you a conciliatory email. What a fool I am, eh? God bless second thoughts. Or fate.

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses
    I know some people write long explanations for why they leave, but if I did that, I'd end up with ten pages or so, because it's impossible to adequately explain the totality of one's position in matters like these, especially when the people to whom you explain will deliberately misconstrue at every opportunity.

    With the lack of compassion they've shown for that sweet innocent child. Do you really think they deserve a long explanation?

    Had it been my family that they treated this way. They would have been in the emergency room shortly after. Having my shoe surgically removed from their arse.

    I'm sorry your family, and yourself for that matter, had to go through this. They truly show a lack of compassion.

  • rem
    rem

    10 rem env variable test
    20 let x$=%teejay%
    30 print x$; " ";
    40 goto 30

    run

    Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen Drama Queen ^C

    Talk about a sad hijack of a perfectly good thread!

    rem

    Edited by - rem on 2 February 2003 21:22:22

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Teejay,

    Could this not have been handled in another thread? Or by way of a private e-mail?

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    What a waste of time, teejay. All I can say is that the big grinning smiley emoticon denotes a joking attitude, an attempt at humor, anyway. If disagreeing about the merits of particular movie is all you need to perpetuate your deep-seated resentment of me, resent away. I've said all I have to say to you.

    Dedalus

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